Epilogue

So the plane finally came (after 8 hours and a few minutes of being delayed). Woohoo! Everyone fell asleep as soon as they plopped down on their seats. Everyone except for me, that is. I was so bored that I took some of these photos. On a side note, that has got to be the worst plane ride I have ever been in. With all my phobia on flying, that was the only time I was tempted to use the barf bag. Seriously. It felt like my heart went down my stomach and promptly got digested. More than a dozen air pockets, weird plane noises, and one paranoid kid do not a good combination make.

Still, I'm thankful we arrived in one piece. Praise God for that.

After ten million years...

Didn't realize that my reflection can be seen.:p

oh, the temptation.

Fighting For Love

ROGUE: Remy, if ya have any feelings for me, any at all, leave me alone.
GAMBIT: S'funny, m' feelin's f'r ya are the very same reason I'm stayin'.

Last week, some of my friends and I were hanging out when one of them happened to mention something from the book “Captivated” that caught her eye. She said that women have this inner desire to be fought for or over by the man that she loves. To be honest, I was quite disturbed when I heard that at first. This is the 21st century, after all, not the medieval ages. Hey, women nowadays are lucky for guys to open doors for them. I actually was a bit offended by that thought at first, because I thought, “Come on! Women aren’t as sappy and weak as we were years ago! We’re strong individuals; we’re not pieces of meat for dogs to be fighting over!” It took me a moment to process the information before I did understand what she meant by that. For sure, we’ve come a long way from that time when cavemen beat each other’s heads with wooden clubs to win the, erm, cavewoman (at least, I hope we have), and as we have evolved from that time, so did our understanding of being “fought for.” It has gone from club-beating, to jousting, to slaying dragons, to whatever it is that men do to prove how strong they are (which in most instances just has to be a showing of brute force). These days, however, are completely different. These days involve a different kind of “fighting.”

Now, fighting could mean going for the person that you love no matter what other people will say. Fighting is not being afraid to pursue the other person, even if you are afraid of rejection. Fighting may be fighting against one’s own inhibitions, knowing that the woman is a strong person that other people might be afraid of, but still going out for it because. Fighting is not being afraid of the consequences, but at the same time caring about what the future will hold for the two of them. Fighting is not always being the knight in shining armor, but sometimes just being there when you are needed, time and attention being what is sought. Fighting is in being able to sift through one’s emotions, and determining for one’s self that what one is feeling is in fact love. Plain and simple. The circumstances might be difficult, the people involved might not be the easiest in the world, but there is the unpretentious knowledge of loving that person. That is what is involved in the story of Rogue and Gambit. Even with their inability to touch, even with all the fighting and crusading that they do, even with their dark pasts, they know that they love each other, and they are determined to make things work. Rogue couldn’t touch people, not without running the danger of killing them. Gambit, on the other hand, is a playboy who chases after anyone wearing a (figurative) skirt. They run the risk of hurting each other in more ways than one. Still, they choose to fight for what they know is theirs by right. For sure, in the “real world,” there is no such thing as sucking out one’s life force by mere touch, red on black eyes, the ability to charge objects and make them explode, and other kinds of super powers, but I think it’s a good portrayal of what fighting for love actually means (and yes, a way to release my annoyance that Gambit was still not in the film, argh!). It's not about the hitting, or the smashing, but more on fighting for what love means to a person.

Love Letter to No One

Love is an irony
When joy comes in great sorrow
And sorrow come just when you feel great joy
How will I know if it is love that I feel?
How can I say you are the one I waited for?
My heart is deceitful,
Eager to fall and be bruised over and over again
My eyes see only what they want to perceive,
Not what is true and what is real
My mind knows not what is genuine, what is imaginary,
What is a dream, a hope, a wish, a memory, a fantasy
If it is a dream, I pray I would not wake up
If hope, that I may never stop trusting
If a wish, that I may not cease imagining
If a memory, that I may not forget
If a fantasy, that I may not be brought back
But love is as real as real goes
It is not a guessing game, not a children’s sport
But one involving the entirety and sacrifice
Where the victor claims the spoils, the loser becoming broken
Yet strangely complete
Can I ever cease feeling pain?
Can I ever be numb to what is around me?
No, I will not, as much as I would want to be
For I am human, but flesh and blood
Capable of hurting, capable of bleeding
I care not for games, with hearts involved
For when they fall, they will shatter, unless there is someone to catch them
Will there be someone to break the fall?
When I love, I know it would hurt,
Yet it would fill me with wonder
When I love, I know it would be to a scarred heart
- As is mine.

One Last Chance

One last chance to tell you how you changed my world
How you made me see things in a new light
To see that everything is well and good
To stop living under a perpetual cloud

One last chance to tell you how you made me happy
Making the simplest things seem like small miracles
When, by a few words and a kind demeanor
You made each day less painful and more beautiful

One last chance to tell you my pent-up emotions
Things I have held in for the longest time
Knowing that these have to be said
Yet always choosing to let fears and doubts overcome me

One last chance to tell you how much you have hurt me
When you played games with my emotions
Yet I honestly cannot say that I despise you
Because you still made my life worth living

One last chance to tell you I love you
That despite of the tears, the pain, the anger
You are the only one to have made me feel this way
You taught me to give the most that I can

One last chance
And all I did was say goodbye.

Narito Ako

Sa bawat araw na hinaharap ko
Ikaw lamang ang sandalan ko
Tagapuno ng lakas sa aking kahinaan
Tagasalo ng mga luhang tila walang katapusan

Paano ko nga ba maibabalik ang kabaitan Mo?
Paano ko mababayaran ang utang ko?
Ang pagmamahal Mo ay sadyang walang katapat
Na higit buhay man ay hindi matatapatan

Narito lamang ako, Panginoon
Naghihintay na matawag mo
Nagnanais lamang na ipakita ang pag-ibig ko
Isang anak na humahanga sa kanyang Ama

Sadyang kay hirap mabuhay sa mundong ito
Ang bawat pagsikat ng araw ay nagdadala ng matinding sakit
Ngunit ang kalooban ko ay hindi mababagabag
Sapagkat kapayapaan ko’y hawak ng Maykapal

Narito lamang ako, Panginoon
Inaabangan ang salita Mo
Sa kahit ano mang paraan na nais Mo
Sana’y masuklian ko ang alay Mo