National Concerns

The country is going through so much turmoil right now. Sure, crime, corruption, poverty, and other concerns have been ongoing since forever in the Philippines, but the situation has been exacerbated by the jueteng and the Gloriagate scandals. (By the way, whatever possessed them to call it "Gloriagate"? Just because some USA controversies in the USA have "-gate" attached to their names? It might be a part of our fascination with America, so much so that we imitate even the negative things, but then again, that's just my opinion.) I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say that I'm really in love with the country, because I'm not. I don't consider myself to be a nationalist, but what's going on in the country probably has stirred the patriotic blood of the most jaded Filipino, or propel Juan de la Cruz to another country, like Canada.
I was thinking how the Philippines could have had such an unlucky past, present and possibly future, because throughout history, we've been feeling misery and suffering of some kind. Yeah, we could probably go and blame it on the fact that we're a third-world country (which is a better term to be used than "developing country" in this instance). Sure, we could go and say that it's because practically all of the people in the government are corrupt. The truth of the matter is that we're the ones who brought ourselves in the mess that we're in now. I'm not saying that we're responsible for everything that went wrong in our history. I mean, the Filipinos didn't go and wave a red flag or whatever when they sighted the Spanish galleons bearing Magellan and his crew so as to go and land in Cebu, right? (At least, I don't think they did) We blame the politicians, but who put them in their position of power except us? The President's authority is debatable right now given all that has happened (and I'm not stating that as an opinion but as fact), but what about everyone else? My brother says that one cultural problem of Filipinos is that we love to go blame everyone else but ourselves, and it's true. In Church, there's this prayer being said that Filipinos are wounded by political turmoil, conflict, and other issues, but there wasn't any mention about our own sins. I'm not trying to go against the Church or anything. Far from it. They probably did not deliberately gloss over the fact that we're all accountable for the events in the country, but the fact of the matter is, we can't continue blaming everyone else. All of us can go and do our part to improve the status of the Philippines. The main concept of the film "Pay It Forward" is that one person goes and does a good deed for another person, and tells the latter to pass the good deed on to another. Why can't we do that? The problem is that we're so apathetic that we'd go and think that it's not worth doing good because everyone else is acting horribly, so that no good thing ever happens. This is totally cliche, but we can, in our own small way, make our world a better place to live in. Who knows? Maybe one good deed can propel everyone else to do the same thing to the point that the good deed reaches the people in power and they do something good for the country and not only for themselves.
We were taught before an ideal structure for prayers. First, we pray for our country. Second, we pray for our family. Third, we pray for our Church/community. Fourth, we pray for our friends. Fifth, we pray for ourselves. Yes, that is in order. We're not supposed to put ourselves first above everything else, but the sad thing is that we're so incredibly selfish that we always act for our own good without caring about what our actions' possible consequences might be. We might not do it consciously and deliberately, but the thing is that our nature is always towards self-preservation, as according to Thomas Hobbes. The challenge is that we go against our nature and reach out to other people. Praying for our country might seem like a miniscule thing as compared to the millions of money being hoarded by corrupt politicians yearly, but trust me: it's a lot, because God is greater than those graft dudes. When I first tried praying in that structure a couple or so years ago, I initially thought that I wouldn't be able to say anything regarding the Philippines, but when i started, everything just spilled out. There are just so many things that we could pray for, and our own concerns would seem completely miniscule compared to what the country as a whole is going through. We criticize and complain and rant and rave about how horrible the Philippines is as a place to live in. The question is, are we going to do anything about it?

Horrors of Law School

By next week, I have been a law school student for a month. How time flies, especially if one is doing so many things. I know law school is tough, but I really didn't expect it to be THAT tough. Honestly. First week in, I almost immediately became sick. Not just common-cold sick, tonsilitis-with-a-39-degree-fever-coupled-with-an-asthma attack sick. Yep. That was the first week. As time went by, my health became a bit better, but I can't say the same thing about my studies. For example, next Monday, I have more than a ream thick of readings, and it's for only one subject, and for only one day. How fun. I wanted to quit so badly my first day in, because of the ton of stuff we have to read, understand, explain, comprehend, regurgitate, what have you.
Anyhow, there was this one night when I was feeling completely sorry for myself because I made the sado-masochistic decision of entering law school. I was praying, asking God whether I really was following His Will when I pushed through with my plans. After all, these were my plans since I was small(er). Maybe I just went with my own thing and just assumed that God wanted me there when in fact, it was only me, and that's the reason why I'm floundering so badly now. Then I realized that I wouldn't have been there if I hadn't prayed for it, and that God has a reason for bringing me there. I might go and doubt just about anything, but the one thing that I can be sure of is that He has a purpose for everything. We might not be able to explain it, we might not be able to see it, but we should always know it. Right now, I might feel like I'm not going anywhere save for the path of burnout, but that's not really true. There's a purpose for this, there's a reason why I'm here in law school. The reason why I'm starting to lose hope is because I've been trusting my own strength again, like what I've done countless times in the past. God is good, and He has kept on reminding me that I don't have to stand alone. Philippians 4:13 says, "I have faith in Christ who strengthens me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 goes, "My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." God promises in Matthew 11:28-30 (which eventually was turned into a song), "Come to me all who labor and are burdened , and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you... and you will find rest for yourselves, for My yoke is easy and My burden light." Countless other verses go and proclaim that same thing: that His Grace and strength is sufficient for us, and that we don't have to fight alone, because we're with Him. I became really convicted with that, because the past weeks, I've been trying to do everything alone, and I realize that I can't. Turning to Him will change all that. Even with such a heavy load, I still consider myself really blessed this semester. He has given me a very good schedule so that I can attend meetings that bring me closer to Him. In connection to that, there are just so many doors opening right now, leading me to Christian organizations. My apologies to the UP people, but before, I really thought that I won't be able to go and be closer to God in that school, and I have to rely solely on a youth group that I joi, which is outside of the university. God's good. Not only is there a Christian organization in the law school, He also made a way for me to meet up with my old discipler, and He's also given me opportunities to continue to have fellowship with most of the people in our D group. I met up with my discipler this afternoon, and she said something that really affected me. The answer to my question about why I go through all of these (and this is also for other people) can be found in Colossians 3:23-24, "Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others, knowing that you will receive from the Lord the due payment of the inheritance; be slaves for the Lord always." That's an amazing thought that we should always have. When we do things, we shouldn't think about performing it for ourselves or for other people, but instead for Him. As He has blessed us, even to the point of giving His only Son out of His love for us, so should we also bless Him, by doing everything for His greater Glory.
Thank You Lord, for everything. May Your Will be done.

Blessed

Tomorrow would mark the beginning of a new path for me. No, I'm not getting married.:p June 07, 2005 is our first day of classes in UP College of Law, where I'll be (or am already) a freshman. Thinking about it made me realize just how blessed I am by God, particularly in this aspect of my life. He's been giving me a lot of windows of opportunity in terms of my career. Job offers came before I even graduated, and I got accepted in the law schools that I applied to. The latter is actually the biggest surprise for me because I didn't expect that I'd pass the exams. The UP LAE, particularly, was probably one of the hardest exams I've ever taken in my life, and between you and me, that's saying a lot.:p I was praying almost all throughout the exam, but then I thought that whatever might happen would be ok, as long as it's according to God's Will. If I don't pass the exam, I took the entrance exam of another law school too. If that doesn't work, I can always study for a Master's Degree. If I can't do that, maybe I can find a way to squeak through the clause in the labor code of the Philippines.:p Anything, as long as it's God's Will, and that's what I prayed for. By God's Grace, I became qualified for the interview phase for UP. I thought, "One hurdle over!" Anyhow, it also gave me an opportunity to trust God more. What happened after that was just two degrees short of disastrous. If I thought the written exam was hard, the interview was horrible! I got picked on, and the panel went on to say that I was too young for law school. After that, I just let go of the idea of studying in UP Law and instead studying in Rockwell. [Short digression: I really wanted to go to UP not only because of its reputation, but also because it's closer to our house, and I could still continue joining this youth group.] Miraculously, I passed UP, and as I said earlier, we're going to be starting tomorrow. That experience just taught me God's grace. It wasn't me who passed those hurdles - it was God's work. If it were me, I wouldn't be where I am now. People say that I'm lucky that I passed both, or that I'm brilliant. Whatever. I don't believe in that. I believe the word that they're looking for is blessed.:) I just pray that I might always follow His Will for me, and to "fulfill" [for lack of a better term] the reason why He brought me in that school.