Trapped in a box
Pushing on all sides ineffectually
Cardboard or steel makes no difference
Claustrophobia setting in
Running endlessly in a jungle called life
Legs feel like lead
Nowhere to go, no one to lead
No finish line in sight
Darkness sets in, light suffocates
Precious little happiness to be found
Anger, loneliness, frustration become prevalent emotions
Pain always around the corner
I want to run with a purpose
Feel the wind dry the tears on my face
I want to get out of the abyss
See the light after a seeming eternity of shadows
I want to breathe freely
Without worrying about the consequences
I want to fly unconditionally
Delight in the freedom offered
I want to be with You for all eternity
You brought salvation from all prisons
You made me soar from troubles
You alone offered the escape from entrapment
Saturday, December 31, 2005
The Year That Was
The Year That Was
Since the year is about to end, I want to come up with a short summary of sorts of what happened the past 12 months, particularly since this has got to be one of, if not the most eventful period in my life (sounds pretty dramatic, doesn’t it?:p).
Shallow thing first: I am officially an adult in legal terms. Fer sure, I’m barely legal, but legal nonetheless.:D Haha! What great changes have happened with the transition? I’m still not paying taxes, I’m still living in my parents’ house, I’m still not working, I’m still studying, I still don’t drink, I still love cartoons, I still have a sweet tooth, so… The effect of the transition of being a child to an adult (legally speaking, anyway) is… nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I’m happy to have it kept that way.:p
If those have not changed, there are a lot of things that more than made up for that, as this is definitely a transitory year for me. A lot of changes definitely have happened – probably the year that most brought a lot of shifts in my life as compared to the previous ones. What is also significant about these events is that these have a very real possibility of changing the direction of where I’m heading. Graduating from college, for starters, is definitely a huge occasion for me, especially the circumstances that went along with it: deciding whether to go into law school, graduate school, or back to college for another degree, or join the labor force. After a lot of prayers, I saw that studying law was the field opened for me, but I also had to make a decision when brought to that spot: which law school to study in. Both options were good, and I eventually chose one over the other due to a variety of reasons, which I think I have already mentioned in a previous entry. Experiencing the effects of that decision is another story, but as long as I’m here, I intend to make the best of it. There are definitely a lot of changes and a lot of adjustments I had to make and accept, most of which aren’t the easiest things to do, but I’m praying for the grace to continue on.
Law school might just change my career path, but another decision I made this year is in my spiritual walk. After a lot of time discerning and praying, I finally committed myself to a Christian community later this year. In all honesty, it wasn’t the easiest decision I have made, due to a lot of factors (none of which I’m willing to divulge as of this moment), but like going into law school, I know that it’s His will for me to be where I am right now. One of the realizations I have had this year is that it’s always about Him, and not so much about me, or even what other people would say or think or believe. Like the other aspects of my life, this is where He wants me to be in, so this is where I will be. I remember the time when I finally decided to take the plunge, in a manner of speaking. Those past few days, even weeks, I’ve been praying about whether to really make that commitment or not, because for me, it’s a really huge decision to make, given all the circumstances (and no, I still won’t spill it). The choice was finally taken out of my hands when, at 3:00 a.m., He finally overrode all of my uncertainties and what-have-yous, and told me to go. And that was that.
Saying all these things make it seem like everything’s been easy and perfect. It’s really not, and it’s probably especially evident for those who really know me. These decisions that I had to make, as well as those outside of these, weren’t just badabing-badaboom easily made. But then, nothing’s really simple and perfect and happy-happy joy-joy, right? Definitely, this year is not the happiest. I can say that with all certainty. This year has brought a lot of pain for me, I won’t deny that. I could appear to be as jolly and spry as the most hyper puppy, but it won’t change the fact that a lot of times, I’m hurting inside. I can also say with complete certainty that I have grown a lot spiritually this year, but there are still a lot of things about me that I know I should change, and things I should let go. For example, my temper hasn’t really improved by time. In truth, I think it actually worsened – a side effect of studying in law school (this is a fact: people who are in law school become crankier). There are things that I thought I’ve already accepted or beyond me, only to realize that I’m still as easily affected by these as before. There are still a lot of huge struggles that I still haven’t surrendered to Him, because of my own bullheadedness and whatever. It’s things like these that continually remind me of these verses from dc Talk’s “In the Light”: “What’s going on inside of me?/I despise my own behavior/This only serves to confirm my suspicion/That I’m still… in need of a Savior.”
This year also saw me as a very emotional person, quite a departure from my logic-always philosophy. Heck, my psychological test took me to be an ESTJ [Extroverted (although borderline introvert), Sensing, Thinking, Judging] --> three out of the four characteristics telling me that I almost never follow my instincts and almost always only relies upon the cold, brutal facts, and then suddenly, I find myself straying from being left-brained. I don’t mean to say that I suddenly burst into mushy love songs or whatever (perish the thought), or start seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses. Hardly that – or maybe I do the former sometimes just for kicks. What I’m saying is that for some reason, I became less reliant on logic, and from time to time actually listen to what my instincts or my feelings are saying. I became less dependent on what is tangible and what can be proven, and instead allowed myself to see what is beyond what is palpable. Imagine that. I guess it’s kind of explainable, given the nature of my old problems and the new ones that surfaced, but it’s still quite a change for me. It’s funny, because before, I could equate myself to a glacier – cold and unmoving, but now, the glacier has discovered that it is not as solid as it believed it was. And here I am using metaphors again and making the situation less understandable than it is.
So there you have it. I really don't want to make a list of my New Year's Resolutions, because I know there's always a very real possibility of me breaking these promises. All I want to do is to lift it up to Him - a new slate for a new year. I just want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, and that is to be a child of God.
Since the year is about to end, I want to come up with a short summary of sorts of what happened the past 12 months, particularly since this has got to be one of, if not the most eventful period in my life (sounds pretty dramatic, doesn’t it?:p).
Shallow thing first: I am officially an adult in legal terms. Fer sure, I’m barely legal, but legal nonetheless.:D Haha! What great changes have happened with the transition? I’m still not paying taxes, I’m still living in my parents’ house, I’m still not working, I’m still studying, I still don’t drink, I still love cartoons, I still have a sweet tooth, so… The effect of the transition of being a child to an adult (legally speaking, anyway) is… nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I’m happy to have it kept that way.:p
If those have not changed, there are a lot of things that more than made up for that, as this is definitely a transitory year for me. A lot of changes definitely have happened – probably the year that most brought a lot of shifts in my life as compared to the previous ones. What is also significant about these events is that these have a very real possibility of changing the direction of where I’m heading. Graduating from college, for starters, is definitely a huge occasion for me, especially the circumstances that went along with it: deciding whether to go into law school, graduate school, or back to college for another degree, or join the labor force. After a lot of prayers, I saw that studying law was the field opened for me, but I also had to make a decision when brought to that spot: which law school to study in. Both options were good, and I eventually chose one over the other due to a variety of reasons, which I think I have already mentioned in a previous entry. Experiencing the effects of that decision is another story, but as long as I’m here, I intend to make the best of it. There are definitely a lot of changes and a lot of adjustments I had to make and accept, most of which aren’t the easiest things to do, but I’m praying for the grace to continue on.
Law school might just change my career path, but another decision I made this year is in my spiritual walk. After a lot of time discerning and praying, I finally committed myself to a Christian community later this year. In all honesty, it wasn’t the easiest decision I have made, due to a lot of factors (none of which I’m willing to divulge as of this moment), but like going into law school, I know that it’s His will for me to be where I am right now. One of the realizations I have had this year is that it’s always about Him, and not so much about me, or even what other people would say or think or believe. Like the other aspects of my life, this is where He wants me to be in, so this is where I will be. I remember the time when I finally decided to take the plunge, in a manner of speaking. Those past few days, even weeks, I’ve been praying about whether to really make that commitment or not, because for me, it’s a really huge decision to make, given all the circumstances (and no, I still won’t spill it). The choice was finally taken out of my hands when, at 3:00 a.m., He finally overrode all of my uncertainties and what-have-yous, and told me to go. And that was that.
Saying all these things make it seem like everything’s been easy and perfect. It’s really not, and it’s probably especially evident for those who really know me. These decisions that I had to make, as well as those outside of these, weren’t just badabing-badaboom easily made. But then, nothing’s really simple and perfect and happy-happy joy-joy, right? Definitely, this year is not the happiest. I can say that with all certainty. This year has brought a lot of pain for me, I won’t deny that. I could appear to be as jolly and spry as the most hyper puppy, but it won’t change the fact that a lot of times, I’m hurting inside. I can also say with complete certainty that I have grown a lot spiritually this year, but there are still a lot of things about me that I know I should change, and things I should let go. For example, my temper hasn’t really improved by time. In truth, I think it actually worsened – a side effect of studying in law school (this is a fact: people who are in law school become crankier). There are things that I thought I’ve already accepted or beyond me, only to realize that I’m still as easily affected by these as before. There are still a lot of huge struggles that I still haven’t surrendered to Him, because of my own bullheadedness and whatever. It’s things like these that continually remind me of these verses from dc Talk’s “In the Light”: “What’s going on inside of me?/I despise my own behavior/This only serves to confirm my suspicion/That I’m still… in need of a Savior.”
This year also saw me as a very emotional person, quite a departure from my logic-always philosophy. Heck, my psychological test took me to be an ESTJ [Extroverted (although borderline introvert), Sensing, Thinking, Judging] --> three out of the four characteristics telling me that I almost never follow my instincts and almost always only relies upon the cold, brutal facts, and then suddenly, I find myself straying from being left-brained. I don’t mean to say that I suddenly burst into mushy love songs or whatever (perish the thought), or start seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses. Hardly that – or maybe I do the former sometimes just for kicks. What I’m saying is that for some reason, I became less reliant on logic, and from time to time actually listen to what my instincts or my feelings are saying. I became less dependent on what is tangible and what can be proven, and instead allowed myself to see what is beyond what is palpable. Imagine that. I guess it’s kind of explainable, given the nature of my old problems and the new ones that surfaced, but it’s still quite a change for me. It’s funny, because before, I could equate myself to a glacier – cold and unmoving, but now, the glacier has discovered that it is not as solid as it believed it was. And here I am using metaphors again and making the situation less understandable than it is.
So there you have it. I really don't want to make a list of my New Year's Resolutions, because I know there's always a very real possibility of me breaking these promises. All I want to do is to lift it up to Him - a new slate for a new year. I just want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, and that is to be a child of God.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
You-Fee Peekchurs - Lantern Parade
Haha! Found these quite fun, so I'm uploading 'em.:p Still haven't gotten the 80s one though.:(
<-- Lem and his girlfriend 
<--- The Parade Stoppers (literally)
<-- Lem and his girlfriend 
<--- The Parade Stoppers (literally)
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Trouble in Jerusalem
“It is good to wait patiently for the Lord to save us. When we are young, it is good to struggle hard and to sit silently alone, if this is what the Lord intends. Being rubbed in the dirt can teach us a lesson, we can learn from insults and hard knocks.”
- Lamentations 3:28a-30, Youth Bible (Contemporary English Version)
- Lamentations 3:28a-30, Youth Bible (Contemporary English Version)
Right now, I am undergoing the biggest persecution that I have ever experienced in my entire life. It’s not like Stephen’s experience of being stoned to death, nor is it like China’s Brother Yun who seems to go out of prison only to be captured once again for evangelizing. It’s nothing like that. What I am going through right now is really way too close for comfort, because my burden is in my Jerusalem (for those who don’t seem to understand this, I urge you to read and reflect on Acts 1:8).
In truth, this struggle isn’t something new, but something that I have been going through almost since I was born. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than what it already was – not so much about me just accepting it as it is, but something I’ve already accepted, and continuously have been praying for. I didn’t know and expect that this would be where the persecution would be coming from.
I have made a really major decision in one aspect of my life – something that is potentially life-changing, no matter which way you look at it. It wasn’t the easiest choice that I have made. Heck, it took me several months to decide whether or not to go through with it, and the Lord has been consistent in telling me to do it. It was His will for me to be where I am right now, and the call was so strong that I was really ready to go – never mind if I was alone. I simply didn’t care, as long as it’s because it’s what He wants me to do, never mind if I might be supremely uncomfortable where He placed me; that’s where He led me, and that’s where I’m going. Thank God that He made it so that I wouldn’t be alone to go through it. What I didn’t count on was the reaction I’d be getting from my Jerusalem.
I’ve heard a lot of bad stuff said to me or to someone else in my lifetime, but what came out during that talk has got to be some of the most horrible things ever directed to me. Suffice to say that if my blood pressure were taken right after it, my systole would have been way over my diastole. I thought I was already used to that, but it turns out I wasn’t, and those things just cut to me. Not only were the stuff thrown insulting and unfair, but it was a truly perverted mind that could have turned and twisted something inherently good and made it appear so corrupt. That was the biggest persecution I have ever received. Neither my Judea nor Samaria have given me that brutal an attack. I would think that my Jerusalem would have provided my haven, but I was so wrong. The fact that it is my Jerusalem just makes it seem a thousand times worse than if it were Judea or Samaria, because that, I was able to take. This recent attack, however, just drove straight home, that I would have crumbled if not for Him. I know that He brought me here, and I know He has a purpose for this. At times, I have been extremely bullheaded about it, but I know and believe that it’s His Will for me to be here. I am secure in His Word. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will not do what is contrary to that.
The offense was really obviously coming from the enemy. I’ve said in my past entry that we are soldiers in a war. This means that the enemy has ammo of his own, and he will certainly make his attacks extremely painful, and he doesn’t feel constrained to break whatever rules we might think are applicable too. Ephesians 2:2 (and this is from the same version quoted above, as are the rest of the verses to be cited here, unless mentioned otherwise) says, “You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn’t obey God.” We shouldn’t underestimate him, because he is the ruler of the world, and he will use every means he can use to make us turn away from the Lord. When we think we are safe, that’s when we are in most danger of being attacked, because we get so complacent and filled with foolish pride that we are virtually very fertile ground for him to lay the seeds of corruption. It’s a very scary thought.
Yet the Lord did not leave us to be completely defenseless. We only have to read about the lives of these Biblical heroes to know that He provides for our battles. The Book of Psalms is filled with thanksgiving for the Lord has granted victory. The most powerful imagery that I have read about would be in the last chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, entitled “The Fight Against Evil.” It goes, “Let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself from the devil’s tricks. We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself… Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. Your desire to tell the good news about peace shall be like shoes on your feet. Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit” (v. 10-17). Don’t be misled by what the enemy is saying, because our God has defeated already. His Blood covered us, and nothing will ever take that, unless we allow ourselves to be deceived and be victims of our circumstance – exactly where the devil wants us to be. God gave us His great promise that He will save us, and that has indeed come to fruition with Jesus Christ and by His Cross.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t affected by what happened, because I was, big time. It hurt a lot. But to allow my thoughts to dwell on it would give the enemy have a grasp on me and start weaving his half-truths and full lies in my head, and that’s not something that I want. I’m praying to God to help me, and I know He will. Trials are in our lives like stones that we never notice until it is too late. Sooner or later, we will trip. If we just sit there mourning about that sin, we allow it to grow into proportion, because continually thinking about it will corrupt us. That is the truth. He will try to convince us that we will never have a chance again, that we’re completely useless, that we’re the biggest losers that the world could have come up with. That is not the truth. That is why we always should be steadfast in our faith and vigilant in our walk, to prepare us in our battles. That is why we should always read His Word, because the Bible is a major way for us to know what His commands are. If we trip, we should get up and continue the fight. We are soldiers, and God is our general. Are we going to be casualties of the war? Not better, if not worse: are we going to be deserters or turncoats of it?
In truth, this struggle isn’t something new, but something that I have been going through almost since I was born. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than what it already was – not so much about me just accepting it as it is, but something I’ve already accepted, and continuously have been praying for. I didn’t know and expect that this would be where the persecution would be coming from.
I have made a really major decision in one aspect of my life – something that is potentially life-changing, no matter which way you look at it. It wasn’t the easiest choice that I have made. Heck, it took me several months to decide whether or not to go through with it, and the Lord has been consistent in telling me to do it. It was His will for me to be where I am right now, and the call was so strong that I was really ready to go – never mind if I was alone. I simply didn’t care, as long as it’s because it’s what He wants me to do, never mind if I might be supremely uncomfortable where He placed me; that’s where He led me, and that’s where I’m going. Thank God that He made it so that I wouldn’t be alone to go through it. What I didn’t count on was the reaction I’d be getting from my Jerusalem.
I’ve heard a lot of bad stuff said to me or to someone else in my lifetime, but what came out during that talk has got to be some of the most horrible things ever directed to me. Suffice to say that if my blood pressure were taken right after it, my systole would have been way over my diastole. I thought I was already used to that, but it turns out I wasn’t, and those things just cut to me. Not only were the stuff thrown insulting and unfair, but it was a truly perverted mind that could have turned and twisted something inherently good and made it appear so corrupt. That was the biggest persecution I have ever received. Neither my Judea nor Samaria have given me that brutal an attack. I would think that my Jerusalem would have provided my haven, but I was so wrong. The fact that it is my Jerusalem just makes it seem a thousand times worse than if it were Judea or Samaria, because that, I was able to take. This recent attack, however, just drove straight home, that I would have crumbled if not for Him. I know that He brought me here, and I know He has a purpose for this. At times, I have been extremely bullheaded about it, but I know and believe that it’s His Will for me to be here. I am secure in His Word. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will not do what is contrary to that.
The offense was really obviously coming from the enemy. I’ve said in my past entry that we are soldiers in a war. This means that the enemy has ammo of his own, and he will certainly make his attacks extremely painful, and he doesn’t feel constrained to break whatever rules we might think are applicable too. Ephesians 2:2 (and this is from the same version quoted above, as are the rest of the verses to be cited here, unless mentioned otherwise) says, “You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn’t obey God.” We shouldn’t underestimate him, because he is the ruler of the world, and he will use every means he can use to make us turn away from the Lord. When we think we are safe, that’s when we are in most danger of being attacked, because we get so complacent and filled with foolish pride that we are virtually very fertile ground for him to lay the seeds of corruption. It’s a very scary thought.
Yet the Lord did not leave us to be completely defenseless. We only have to read about the lives of these Biblical heroes to know that He provides for our battles. The Book of Psalms is filled with thanksgiving for the Lord has granted victory. The most powerful imagery that I have read about would be in the last chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, entitled “The Fight Against Evil.” It goes, “Let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself from the devil’s tricks. We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself… Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. Your desire to tell the good news about peace shall be like shoes on your feet. Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit” (v. 10-17). Don’t be misled by what the enemy is saying, because our God has defeated already. His Blood covered us, and nothing will ever take that, unless we allow ourselves to be deceived and be victims of our circumstance – exactly where the devil wants us to be. God gave us His great promise that He will save us, and that has indeed come to fruition with Jesus Christ and by His Cross.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t affected by what happened, because I was, big time. It hurt a lot. But to allow my thoughts to dwell on it would give the enemy have a grasp on me and start weaving his half-truths and full lies in my head, and that’s not something that I want. I’m praying to God to help me, and I know He will. Trials are in our lives like stones that we never notice until it is too late. Sooner or later, we will trip. If we just sit there mourning about that sin, we allow it to grow into proportion, because continually thinking about it will corrupt us. That is the truth. He will try to convince us that we will never have a chance again, that we’re completely useless, that we’re the biggest losers that the world could have come up with. That is not the truth. That is why we always should be steadfast in our faith and vigilant in our walk, to prepare us in our battles. That is why we should always read His Word, because the Bible is a major way for us to know what His commands are. If we trip, we should get up and continue the fight. We are soldiers, and God is our general. Are we going to be casualties of the war? Not better, if not worse: are we going to be deserters or turncoats of it?
Monday, December 05, 2005
Little Miss Perfect
One of the biggest (if not the biggest) insults thrown at me definitely has to be “Little Miss Perfect.” I have been called that, or some of its variations, a few times in my life, some disdainful and some in a sneering way, but they all brought out the same reaction from me: one degree short of fury. It’s vastly annoying to be called something that you’re not, even if the person who spoke of it meant it in a good way. I remember two distinct instances when this has been slapped to my face. A friend once called me that, and I ended up having a huge fight with him that lasted for several months. Another was said in good faith. I made some boo-boo which was laughingly pointed out by some other friend, to which another quipped, “Well what do you know? She’s not perfect after all.” Urgh. I wanted to scream, “Of course I’m not perfect! I’m human, for crying out loud!”
For starters, I am most definitely not perfect. I know who I am, and I know that I have so many imperfections. I honestly believe that there is more of me that has to be changed than there is to remain the same – if there is something in me that can be like that. I am a work in progress. I never made any claim to perfection, and I probably will not utter those words in my entire lifetime. If you hear me say them, call up the mental institution so as to get me admitted there, because it definitely means I have a problem up there. Like I said, I know who I am, and what I definitely am not is to be perfect. I take it against people who call me that, especially because it’s an insult to my God by comparing me – however mockingly to me– to Him. Only He is perfect. God alone. Not me, not you, not anybody who is human (except Jesus, but He’s fully human and fully divine at the same time).
It’s true that we try to emulate Jesus as Christians. As Galatians 2:20 says, “I live, no longer I but Christ who lives in me.” But our fall is almost always inevitable, because we’re humans, and being humans, we sin. There is no one who can claim to be sinless forasmuch as he remains human, because everyone sins. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” All. The verse didn’t say, “Oh about twenty million have sinned, but the rest are A-OK.” No. All sinned. Checking out an earlier verse in the same chapter, it says “All have gone astray; all alike are worthless; there is not one who does good, not even one” (Rm 3:12). All of us have fallen short. If in the unlikely possibility that we haven’t sinned yet in our lives, it (sin, that is) will remain as an inherent possibility in our lives, because it’s in our nature, rooting back to the time Adam first fell in the Garden of Eden.
We are all tainted by sin, and no amount of good works, without Jesus, can attain our salvation. It is an insult to Jesus Christ if we claim that we alone can save ourselves, that our abilities are sufficient to grant us our freedom from sin. We claim that, and we might as well say that His sacrifice is worthless. If we could save ourselves, do you honestly think that He still would have died on the Cross for us? If there was any other way, would someone, even God, choose the hardest way just for the heck of it? No. He did it because it’s the ONLY way for us to be saved. We don’t deserve it, and He didn’t have to do it, but He still did. He could have allowed us to boil in our own fat, but He got the ladle and scooped us out. He died in our place, and that’s because of His love for us (Rm 5:8).
It’s all about Him. We are Christians because of Him. He is the One who called us to the Great Commission. He is our Lord, our Father, our Savior, our Redeemer, our Strength, our Refuge, our Worship, our everything. It’s all about God and never about us. How can we claim to be better than other people when our being does not lie upon ourselves but on Him (Eph 2:8-9)? How can we say that we are greater believers than other people can claim to be, when we believe in the same God (Ti 2:14)? How can we say that the way that we follow, the way that we live our lives is the only right path, when Jesus says He is the only way (Jn 14:6)? How can we say we are stronger in faith when He is the one who provides that strength (Phil 4:13)?
A trap we are in danger of falling into is that of self-righteousness. Our noses might be so high up in the air that we endanger scraping it on the ceiling. We think so highly of ourselves that we (1) forget that it’s not out of our own success that we are saved, but by His grace; and (2) commit sin by doing so. Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.” Of course, it’s not false humility where we go, “Ok, I will see them as higher up than I am, but in the end, I get all the inheritance of heaven while they get nothing! Hah!” No. It’s not about doing it for the sake of getting something in return. Not only is that self-righteous, but selfish to boot. We do it not for whatever we might receive, but we do it because we love Him, plain and simple. It’s not about gratification. Isn’t His love enough? How greedy are we, wishing for something more when He gave us everything that He is already!
This brings the second danger we might fall into: the trap of believing what the world, what mankind teaches. The reason why we should always be steadfast in faith is because we might fall into this trap, and if we’re not wary and do not know better, we end up caught hook, line, and sinker. It’s easier to discern what the world teaches: all about gratifications of the flesh. What is harder is what man teaches. God uses men as His instruments to bring people closer to Him. However, there is the scary truth of modern-day false prophets. They say things that sound so true yet are totally false. What is scarier are those that are hugely true, but put in a dash of falsity in it, and it’s toxic. Deception is popularly known to be 99% true, 1% false. Scary thought, isn’t it? How will we know then? By listening to God, by remaining in Him. It’s not enough that we go through the Bible once and that’s it. It’s a daily commitment to be with God, and it’s also daily that we should be nourished by His Word and by His presence through prayer.
The truth is, we are in a state of war that has been going on since time everlasting. Another truth is, we can choose to be soldiers in that war, instead of remaining as unconcerned passerby. The truth is, we can’t be unconcerned passerby, not in this war, because one way or the other, we will be affected, and in ways whose proportions we can’t even imagine. We can’t remain in our own protected bunkers waiting for the bomb to hit us. Sure, damage to us won’t really be extensive, but we won’t really be able to do anything else either. What do we do then? We fight. We should also never forget that we are not alone in this battle. We are with Him, and we are also with His other children. That’s why we should always encourage and support each other (1 Th 5:11) instead of looking at each other with jealousy or whatever. And we do it not through what we can do, but what He can do through us. If it’s just us, we will surely fall. With Him, all things are possible (Mk 10:27).
For starters, I am most definitely not perfect. I know who I am, and I know that I have so many imperfections. I honestly believe that there is more of me that has to be changed than there is to remain the same – if there is something in me that can be like that. I am a work in progress. I never made any claim to perfection, and I probably will not utter those words in my entire lifetime. If you hear me say them, call up the mental institution so as to get me admitted there, because it definitely means I have a problem up there. Like I said, I know who I am, and what I definitely am not is to be perfect. I take it against people who call me that, especially because it’s an insult to my God by comparing me – however mockingly to me– to Him. Only He is perfect. God alone. Not me, not you, not anybody who is human (except Jesus, but He’s fully human and fully divine at the same time).
It’s true that we try to emulate Jesus as Christians. As Galatians 2:20 says, “I live, no longer I but Christ who lives in me.” But our fall is almost always inevitable, because we’re humans, and being humans, we sin. There is no one who can claim to be sinless forasmuch as he remains human, because everyone sins. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” All. The verse didn’t say, “Oh about twenty million have sinned, but the rest are A-OK.” No. All sinned. Checking out an earlier verse in the same chapter, it says “All have gone astray; all alike are worthless; there is not one who does good, not even one” (Rm 3:12). All of us have fallen short. If in the unlikely possibility that we haven’t sinned yet in our lives, it (sin, that is) will remain as an inherent possibility in our lives, because it’s in our nature, rooting back to the time Adam first fell in the Garden of Eden.
We are all tainted by sin, and no amount of good works, without Jesus, can attain our salvation. It is an insult to Jesus Christ if we claim that we alone can save ourselves, that our abilities are sufficient to grant us our freedom from sin. We claim that, and we might as well say that His sacrifice is worthless. If we could save ourselves, do you honestly think that He still would have died on the Cross for us? If there was any other way, would someone, even God, choose the hardest way just for the heck of it? No. He did it because it’s the ONLY way for us to be saved. We don’t deserve it, and He didn’t have to do it, but He still did. He could have allowed us to boil in our own fat, but He got the ladle and scooped us out. He died in our place, and that’s because of His love for us (Rm 5:8).
It’s all about Him. We are Christians because of Him. He is the One who called us to the Great Commission. He is our Lord, our Father, our Savior, our Redeemer, our Strength, our Refuge, our Worship, our everything. It’s all about God and never about us. How can we claim to be better than other people when our being does not lie upon ourselves but on Him (Eph 2:8-9)? How can we say that we are greater believers than other people can claim to be, when we believe in the same God (Ti 2:14)? How can we say that the way that we follow, the way that we live our lives is the only right path, when Jesus says He is the only way (Jn 14:6)? How can we say we are stronger in faith when He is the one who provides that strength (Phil 4:13)?
A trap we are in danger of falling into is that of self-righteousness. Our noses might be so high up in the air that we endanger scraping it on the ceiling. We think so highly of ourselves that we (1) forget that it’s not out of our own success that we are saved, but by His grace; and (2) commit sin by doing so. Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.” Of course, it’s not false humility where we go, “Ok, I will see them as higher up than I am, but in the end, I get all the inheritance of heaven while they get nothing! Hah!” No. It’s not about doing it for the sake of getting something in return. Not only is that self-righteous, but selfish to boot. We do it not for whatever we might receive, but we do it because we love Him, plain and simple. It’s not about gratification. Isn’t His love enough? How greedy are we, wishing for something more when He gave us everything that He is already!
This brings the second danger we might fall into: the trap of believing what the world, what mankind teaches. The reason why we should always be steadfast in faith is because we might fall into this trap, and if we’re not wary and do not know better, we end up caught hook, line, and sinker. It’s easier to discern what the world teaches: all about gratifications of the flesh. What is harder is what man teaches. God uses men as His instruments to bring people closer to Him. However, there is the scary truth of modern-day false prophets. They say things that sound so true yet are totally false. What is scarier are those that are hugely true, but put in a dash of falsity in it, and it’s toxic. Deception is popularly known to be 99% true, 1% false. Scary thought, isn’t it? How will we know then? By listening to God, by remaining in Him. It’s not enough that we go through the Bible once and that’s it. It’s a daily commitment to be with God, and it’s also daily that we should be nourished by His Word and by His presence through prayer.
The truth is, we are in a state of war that has been going on since time everlasting. Another truth is, we can choose to be soldiers in that war, instead of remaining as unconcerned passerby. The truth is, we can’t be unconcerned passerby, not in this war, because one way or the other, we will be affected, and in ways whose proportions we can’t even imagine. We can’t remain in our own protected bunkers waiting for the bomb to hit us. Sure, damage to us won’t really be extensive, but we won’t really be able to do anything else either. What do we do then? We fight. We should also never forget that we are not alone in this battle. We are with Him, and we are also with His other children. That’s why we should always encourage and support each other (1 Th 5:11) instead of looking at each other with jealousy or whatever. And we do it not through what we can do, but what He can do through us. If it’s just us, we will surely fall. With Him, all things are possible (Mk 10:27).
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Relevant Article
Got this article while browsing online, and I think it's pretty relevant to what we're talking about right now.:p I got this from (you guessed it) relevantmagazine.com.
Mimicking the Mainstream
by Tim Willard
“The scandal of the evangelical mind is that there is not much of an evangelical mind,” historian Mark Noll keenly observed of the current state of evangelicalism (The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind). However, it was not always this way. Evangelicalism has become a juggernaut of sorts in the present age, but possibly at the expense of its mind. The sub-culture that is evangelicalism has successfully morphed into a dominant political combatant, as well as a multi-billion dollar publishing (multimedia) empire. One must ask the questions, however: have Christians sacrificed scholarship and intellect for relevance? Have Christians truly become anti-intellectual?
If to lead is to influence, what evidence is there that evangelicals lead out in culture with their excellence or with their spiritual acts of worship? Evangelicals put great importance on leading but instead of creating culture they are content to create a sub-culture, mimicking the mainstream.
J. Gresham Machen was a well-known Christian Scholar at Princeton at the turn of the 20th century. His words may be over one hundred years old, but they still ring true: “Christianity must pervade not merely all nations, but also all human thought… instead of obliterating the distinction between the Kingdom and the world, or on the other hand, withdrawing from the world into a sort of modernized intellectual monasticism, let us go forth joyfully, enthusiastically to make the world subject to God” (Christianity & Liberalism).
With mega-churches growing like Jack’s beanstalk, the new American mind-set of evangelism is, “Get’em into the church building, put on a good show, don’t offend them, give them some Starbucks, and BAM! They’ll get saved.” After all, we must be “all things to all men.” But what happens when we become everything to the world? Christians become everything and nothing.
What is the fruit produced from this faux-finished faith known as evangelicalism? We have huge churches catering to the lowest common denominators of culture. We have a lack of theological integrity because we don’t want to offend anyone with our doctrine. We have turned the body of Christ into something that feels and runs more like a corporation than an intimate community where families actually care about each other. We measure success like a business; if our numbers are growing then everything is good.
The only problem with this mindset is that discipleship cannot be measured in this way. Making a disciple of Christ takes time. It is hard. It is not something that takes place at a huge conference or outreach event. It is life on life.
The fruit of discipleship surfaces a few years down the line when those young people in the youth group have graduated and come back to the church not to be entertained but to plug into someone.
The church has forgotten what it means to equip the Christian mind. It is more concerned with putting on productions than putting out disciples. The end result is a bunch of whiney adults who don’t like the way the power-point presentation looked last week, or complain that the coffee bar needs to have more flavors to choose from. We have successfully dumbed down the Word of God. Intimacy with the Almighty is not something we strive for anymore. We scream “Relevance!” and sacrifice the minds Christ has given us.
I work with a group of young adults who are thirsty for an authentic Christian experience. They want to grow in their spiritual lives. They desire what Paul desired more than anything: to know God.
Relevance does not come from looking cool, a great church production, or using hip lingo. It comes from loving others. Wade Clark Roof of the University of California comments on the Gnostic experience and how it “celebrates experience rather than doctrine; the personal rather than the institutional; the mythic and dreamlike over the cognitive; people’s religion over official religion.” Has our faith morphed into something close to Gnosticism? Is it possible to find balance between the doctrine and experience?
The Christian culture tends to swing like the pendulum to one extreme, stay there for a while and then swing back to the other side. Do I believe we need to have experience in our faith journeys? Yes. Do we need to be more people oriented and less self-serving? Absolutely! However, I think the Church takes its cues from culture rather than creating culture. Our faith demands our hearts and our minds.
The Christian landscape heaves with shallow people, content to live out their faith in the plush sanctuaries of the American church. We are training young Christians not to think about God or reflect on His glory. I have been told on more than one occasion to teach or write in a way that does not threaten someone’s mind (bring the cookies down to the bottom shelf). The interesting thing is when I took a survey of high school seniors who sat in our group discussions they loved the fact that I did not teach down to them. They loved being challenged in their minds and hearts. They said they were tired of the hollowness of their faith. We are hollow Christians. The deep well of intimacy with God is missing from our faith.
Brothers and sisters, look around you. The Christian life is deeper than your iPod play list, it is more intense than Gran Turismo, and it is more than somebody’s idea of saving the world. At some point we will realize that our culture is looking for leaders not mimickers. It is time to create culture... heart, soul, and mind.
Mimicking the Mainstream
by Tim Willard
“The scandal of the evangelical mind is that there is not much of an evangelical mind,” historian Mark Noll keenly observed of the current state of evangelicalism (The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind). However, it was not always this way. Evangelicalism has become a juggernaut of sorts in the present age, but possibly at the expense of its mind. The sub-culture that is evangelicalism has successfully morphed into a dominant political combatant, as well as a multi-billion dollar publishing (multimedia) empire. One must ask the questions, however: have Christians sacrificed scholarship and intellect for relevance? Have Christians truly become anti-intellectual?
If to lead is to influence, what evidence is there that evangelicals lead out in culture with their excellence or with their spiritual acts of worship? Evangelicals put great importance on leading but instead of creating culture they are content to create a sub-culture, mimicking the mainstream.
J. Gresham Machen was a well-known Christian Scholar at Princeton at the turn of the 20th century. His words may be over one hundred years old, but they still ring true: “Christianity must pervade not merely all nations, but also all human thought… instead of obliterating the distinction between the Kingdom and the world, or on the other hand, withdrawing from the world into a sort of modernized intellectual monasticism, let us go forth joyfully, enthusiastically to make the world subject to God” (Christianity & Liberalism).
With mega-churches growing like Jack’s beanstalk, the new American mind-set of evangelism is, “Get’em into the church building, put on a good show, don’t offend them, give them some Starbucks, and BAM! They’ll get saved.” After all, we must be “all things to all men.” But what happens when we become everything to the world? Christians become everything and nothing.
What is the fruit produced from this faux-finished faith known as evangelicalism? We have huge churches catering to the lowest common denominators of culture. We have a lack of theological integrity because we don’t want to offend anyone with our doctrine. We have turned the body of Christ into something that feels and runs more like a corporation than an intimate community where families actually care about each other. We measure success like a business; if our numbers are growing then everything is good.
The only problem with this mindset is that discipleship cannot be measured in this way. Making a disciple of Christ takes time. It is hard. It is not something that takes place at a huge conference or outreach event. It is life on life.
The fruit of discipleship surfaces a few years down the line when those young people in the youth group have graduated and come back to the church not to be entertained but to plug into someone.
The church has forgotten what it means to equip the Christian mind. It is more concerned with putting on productions than putting out disciples. The end result is a bunch of whiney adults who don’t like the way the power-point presentation looked last week, or complain that the coffee bar needs to have more flavors to choose from. We have successfully dumbed down the Word of God. Intimacy with the Almighty is not something we strive for anymore. We scream “Relevance!” and sacrifice the minds Christ has given us.
I work with a group of young adults who are thirsty for an authentic Christian experience. They want to grow in their spiritual lives. They desire what Paul desired more than anything: to know God.
Relevance does not come from looking cool, a great church production, or using hip lingo. It comes from loving others. Wade Clark Roof of the University of California comments on the Gnostic experience and how it “celebrates experience rather than doctrine; the personal rather than the institutional; the mythic and dreamlike over the cognitive; people’s religion over official religion.” Has our faith morphed into something close to Gnosticism? Is it possible to find balance between the doctrine and experience?
The Christian culture tends to swing like the pendulum to one extreme, stay there for a while and then swing back to the other side. Do I believe we need to have experience in our faith journeys? Yes. Do we need to be more people oriented and less self-serving? Absolutely! However, I think the Church takes its cues from culture rather than creating culture. Our faith demands our hearts and our minds.
The Christian landscape heaves with shallow people, content to live out their faith in the plush sanctuaries of the American church. We are training young Christians not to think about God or reflect on His glory. I have been told on more than one occasion to teach or write in a way that does not threaten someone’s mind (bring the cookies down to the bottom shelf). The interesting thing is when I took a survey of high school seniors who sat in our group discussions they loved the fact that I did not teach down to them. They loved being challenged in their minds and hearts. They said they were tired of the hollowness of their faith. We are hollow Christians. The deep well of intimacy with God is missing from our faith.
Brothers and sisters, look around you. The Christian life is deeper than your iPod play list, it is more intense than Gran Turismo, and it is more than somebody’s idea of saving the world. At some point we will realize that our culture is looking for leaders not mimickers. It is time to create culture... heart, soul, and mind.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Red, White, and Blue
Just found out my sister (my real dichie) got accepted in the U.S. Navy, and she didn't just pass the exam - she aced it. She was the 9th highest for those who took the Navy exam, and the 15th overall (all the applicants for all the forces - Navy, Army, Air Force - had to take the exam at the same time, from what I know). Looks like it's really His plan for her to be there - we actually teased her that she will be used as a nuclear warhead in battle, as she can be a lethal weapon at times (believe me, I know from experience :p).
Anyhow, her being accepted just means one step closer for me migrating to the U.S. of A. - a country that is just not my favorite (to find out the reason, message me. I certainly won't go and blab it all out to have myself shot by them!) A part of me is actually happy with that - a new life, a new beginning, and letting go of a lot of stuff and starting anew. A huge chunk of me is actually pretty ecstatic, considering that my health will have a better chance of improving rather than staying here (yes, I'm sick again. My throat feels like sandpaper went by it a hundred times). However, there's also this part of me that's a bit reluctant to take that step and go for a huge change in my life, because what may happen is just so unpredictable. Almost certainly, I won't be able to continue on with law school (if we really do migrate, it would probably be 2-3 years from now) because of the age thing again. They might ask me to take another degree again, for that matter. While I will be with some of the people I love most in the world, I would not have the people I love spending time with - physically, at least. If we leave, I don't even know if I'm coming back here again. For all my "save the country" talks, a part of me would actually be relieved leaving it; I'm not a hypocrite, and neither am I a nationalist, as I said before. Don't get me wrong: I still maintain that stand, to do our bit to save the Philippines, but I'm not saying to go and wield the Philippine flag whenever and wherever you can.
It's funny. I go about here talking as though our migrating is a sure thing already, when it's not. Whatever His Will for me, however, I would accept it, in all aspects of my life.
Anyhow, her being accepted just means one step closer for me migrating to the U.S. of A. - a country that is just not my favorite (to find out the reason, message me. I certainly won't go and blab it all out to have myself shot by them!) A part of me is actually happy with that - a new life, a new beginning, and letting go of a lot of stuff and starting anew. A huge chunk of me is actually pretty ecstatic, considering that my health will have a better chance of improving rather than staying here (yes, I'm sick again. My throat feels like sandpaper went by it a hundred times). However, there's also this part of me that's a bit reluctant to take that step and go for a huge change in my life, because what may happen is just so unpredictable. Almost certainly, I won't be able to continue on with law school (if we really do migrate, it would probably be 2-3 years from now) because of the age thing again. They might ask me to take another degree again, for that matter. While I will be with some of the people I love most in the world, I would not have the people I love spending time with - physically, at least. If we leave, I don't even know if I'm coming back here again. For all my "save the country" talks, a part of me would actually be relieved leaving it; I'm not a hypocrite, and neither am I a nationalist, as I said before. Don't get me wrong: I still maintain that stand, to do our bit to save the Philippines, but I'm not saying to go and wield the Philippine flag whenever and wherever you can.
It's funny. I go about here talking as though our migrating is a sure thing already, when it's not. Whatever His Will for me, however, I would accept it, in all aspects of my life.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Lament
Peaceful silence transforms into soundless screams
Inner peace melds with chaos and confusion
When will this end?
Violence upon violence
Man against man
When will this end?
Silent battles raging, internal and external
Not knowing who is friend and who is foe
When will this end?
Betrayals left and right
Unfading anger
When will this end?
When will this end?
Inner peace melds with chaos and confusion
When will this end?
Violence upon violence
Man against man
When will this end?
Silent battles raging, internal and external
Not knowing who is friend and who is foe
When will this end?
Betrayals left and right
Unfading anger
When will this end?
When will this end?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Nature v. Nurture
A school in psychology (I can’t remember which one) came up with the theory that a man’s life is shaped predominantly by either nature or nurture. The former basically means that a person can attribute (or blame, whichever way the wind blows :p) his/her life to his/her genes. A person is tall or short, smart or not-so-smart based on the genetic configuration that s/he has. The latter, on the other hand, follows the thought that a person is shaped based on his/her environment. For the second one, it’s all about the exposure to the elements, in a manner of speaking.
In truth, I neither agree nor disagree with both of these. Or rather, I don’t completely subscribe to one over the other. I think that it’s a bit of both. Sure, genes cannot be taken out of the picture even if we’re talking about attitude more than a person’s appearance. One cannot recall just how many times one has heard lines that go something like, “You are as grouchy as your dad!” or “You are as stingy as your lolo!” or “You are as kind as your mom!” You get the drift. However, one can easily argue that these are easily attributable to nurture and not just to nature. Being surrounded by people who act in a certain way, it’s almost a sure thing that a person will either follow that attitude, or go the complete opposite way. Or, even if one is possessed by this or that certain trait, it doesn’t necessarily follow that that person will stick to what the stereotype that surrounds that. A popular example would be of a short guy being an excellent basketball player. So yes, it’s partly nature and partly nurture, but I think that there’s something else, and I think that that something is called choice. (Hmmm… I think I think too much. What do you think?:p)
Yeah, sure, a person can’t choose his/her own parents. A lot of times also, one cannot choose one’s own environment. What a person can choose, however, is whether or not to subscribe to a certain point-of-view that s/he is exposed to. I believe that ultimately, it’s in the person’s choices that will determine what kind of a person s/he will be. You choose to be who you are by your actions. Sure, a person can always put up the defense that s/he has been set up, or backed into a corner so that there’s nothing left to do but that one way, which just so happens to be completely opposite to what one wants to do. However, a person can’t keep on saying that that’s the case for the rest of his/her life. That’s not always the case. Besides, first and foremost, we all have the freedom to choose. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of saying this, that each one of us is blessed with an organ up there in our heads called the brain, and that we should use it, because that’s the reason why it’s there. It’s our choice whether we limit ourselves or we allow ourselves to broaden our horizons. We can choose to be narrow-minded little prats or brainless robots if we want, but then, why should we? Why would we want to be like that?
Of course, there’s a limit to being broad-minded – almost everything has a limit, when you get down to it. I’m referring to the term to cover only a certain scope. We should be broad-minded not in the sense that we just accept anything and everything as perfectly all right (which is just wrong), but that we discern for ourselves what is good. It’s not about the relativity of goodness – we’ve been equipped by God with a conscience that makes us know instinctively whether what we’re doing is right or wrong. Job 34:4 says, “Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn between us what is good.” We see for ourselves whether something is bad for us and for our soul. Of course, there will always be things that are mala in se (bad by themselves), such as pagan worship and pornography, but there are also things that are dependent on what kind of person you are. For example, a person can get exposed to certain literature, such as music or books, which will not affect him/her at all, because the person will not allow that to twist his/her ideals, concepts, or whatever since s/he knows that that’s just what these are – literature. On the other hand, another person might be exposed to that same medium, and end up not as unscathed as the first person. S/he will be so affected by it that there will be something inside him/her that would be changed, and even possibly forever. But here’s the deal: a thing cannot get to you unless you allow it to. Besides, as Mk 7:15 says, “Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile.” We might go and “ingest” all things seen as “pure,” but if what comes out of us are filled with venom and spite, what good would subscribing to these things do? Absolutely nothing, except to make one be in danger of being so incredibly self-righteous without realizing that one is no better than the rest of humanity. Again, it’s about discerning what is right for you, and what is not an abomination for Him. Each person has his/her own weakness, his/her own Waterloo, and if one knows of it, then stay away from it. If you think that you’re vulnerable to something, then don’t expose yourself to it, but do not assume that everyone else is suffering from the same weakness that you have. Romans 14:3 says, “The one who eats must not despise the one who abstains, and the one who abstains must not pass judgment on the one who eats; for God has welcomed him.” To extend this thought (and the chapter further), let’s see verses 8-9, “For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. For this is why Christ died and came to life, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living.” God does not discriminate. If we choose to see Him from this angle while another looks at Him from another, it does not mean that you are the one who is right and the other is wrong. That is just your ego talking.
As long as we know we are in the center of God’s Will, as long as we know we are following Him, we are letting Him lead our lives to where we’re supposed to be, it’s fine. We’re not going to go and do something that’s contrary to what He wants for us just because – and especially not so when we have already come to know Him. That would just be insulting. We live for Him and not for what other people are saying. If we know inside us that we are living for His glory, why should we prescribe to what people around us are doing? They have their own different path; all of us have different paths because all of us are different, but all of these ultimately lead to Him, for He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (Jn 14:6). He has a different call for us, but all of these are to bring us to Him, not away from Him. If we go and condemn other Christians for keeping the faith in a way that is a bit different from ours, even if they are following what God wants of them, we would be no better than the Pharisees of old who think that they’re the only ones who are right, and follow the law for its own sake. We do not see that it’s not so much about the method of walking, but that we have our hearts, our souls, our minds focused on our goal: our Lord.
Sirach 15: 17 “Before man are life and death, whichever he chooses shall be given him.”
In truth, I neither agree nor disagree with both of these. Or rather, I don’t completely subscribe to one over the other. I think that it’s a bit of both. Sure, genes cannot be taken out of the picture even if we’re talking about attitude more than a person’s appearance. One cannot recall just how many times one has heard lines that go something like, “You are as grouchy as your dad!” or “You are as stingy as your lolo!” or “You are as kind as your mom!” You get the drift. However, one can easily argue that these are easily attributable to nurture and not just to nature. Being surrounded by people who act in a certain way, it’s almost a sure thing that a person will either follow that attitude, or go the complete opposite way. Or, even if one is possessed by this or that certain trait, it doesn’t necessarily follow that that person will stick to what the stereotype that surrounds that. A popular example would be of a short guy being an excellent basketball player. So yes, it’s partly nature and partly nurture, but I think that there’s something else, and I think that that something is called choice. (Hmmm… I think I think too much. What do you think?:p)
Yeah, sure, a person can’t choose his/her own parents. A lot of times also, one cannot choose one’s own environment. What a person can choose, however, is whether or not to subscribe to a certain point-of-view that s/he is exposed to. I believe that ultimately, it’s in the person’s choices that will determine what kind of a person s/he will be. You choose to be who you are by your actions. Sure, a person can always put up the defense that s/he has been set up, or backed into a corner so that there’s nothing left to do but that one way, which just so happens to be completely opposite to what one wants to do. However, a person can’t keep on saying that that’s the case for the rest of his/her life. That’s not always the case. Besides, first and foremost, we all have the freedom to choose. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of saying this, that each one of us is blessed with an organ up there in our heads called the brain, and that we should use it, because that’s the reason why it’s there. It’s our choice whether we limit ourselves or we allow ourselves to broaden our horizons. We can choose to be narrow-minded little prats or brainless robots if we want, but then, why should we? Why would we want to be like that?
Of course, there’s a limit to being broad-minded – almost everything has a limit, when you get down to it. I’m referring to the term to cover only a certain scope. We should be broad-minded not in the sense that we just accept anything and everything as perfectly all right (which is just wrong), but that we discern for ourselves what is good. It’s not about the relativity of goodness – we’ve been equipped by God with a conscience that makes us know instinctively whether what we’re doing is right or wrong. Job 34:4 says, “Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn between us what is good.” We see for ourselves whether something is bad for us and for our soul. Of course, there will always be things that are mala in se (bad by themselves), such as pagan worship and pornography, but there are also things that are dependent on what kind of person you are. For example, a person can get exposed to certain literature, such as music or books, which will not affect him/her at all, because the person will not allow that to twist his/her ideals, concepts, or whatever since s/he knows that that’s just what these are – literature. On the other hand, another person might be exposed to that same medium, and end up not as unscathed as the first person. S/he will be so affected by it that there will be something inside him/her that would be changed, and even possibly forever. But here’s the deal: a thing cannot get to you unless you allow it to. Besides, as Mk 7:15 says, “Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile.” We might go and “ingest” all things seen as “pure,” but if what comes out of us are filled with venom and spite, what good would subscribing to these things do? Absolutely nothing, except to make one be in danger of being so incredibly self-righteous without realizing that one is no better than the rest of humanity. Again, it’s about discerning what is right for you, and what is not an abomination for Him. Each person has his/her own weakness, his/her own Waterloo, and if one knows of it, then stay away from it. If you think that you’re vulnerable to something, then don’t expose yourself to it, but do not assume that everyone else is suffering from the same weakness that you have. Romans 14:3 says, “The one who eats must not despise the one who abstains, and the one who abstains must not pass judgment on the one who eats; for God has welcomed him.” To extend this thought (and the chapter further), let’s see verses 8-9, “For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. For this is why Christ died and came to life, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living.” God does not discriminate. If we choose to see Him from this angle while another looks at Him from another, it does not mean that you are the one who is right and the other is wrong. That is just your ego talking.
As long as we know we are in the center of God’s Will, as long as we know we are following Him, we are letting Him lead our lives to where we’re supposed to be, it’s fine. We’re not going to go and do something that’s contrary to what He wants for us just because – and especially not so when we have already come to know Him. That would just be insulting. We live for Him and not for what other people are saying. If we know inside us that we are living for His glory, why should we prescribe to what people around us are doing? They have their own different path; all of us have different paths because all of us are different, but all of these ultimately lead to Him, for He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (Jn 14:6). He has a different call for us, but all of these are to bring us to Him, not away from Him. If we go and condemn other Christians for keeping the faith in a way that is a bit different from ours, even if they are following what God wants of them, we would be no better than the Pharisees of old who think that they’re the only ones who are right, and follow the law for its own sake. We do not see that it’s not so much about the method of walking, but that we have our hearts, our souls, our minds focused on our goal: our Lord.
Sirach 15: 17 “Before man are life and death, whichever he chooses shall be given him.”
Thursday, November 24, 2005
From inq.net: Conrado De Quiros' Article
Found this article really amusing and refreshingly honest. Kudos to Conrado De Quiros for a great article.
For those who want to read it themselves, just check out this link.
.
There's The Rub : Authentic fakes
By Conrado de Quiros
Inquirer News
ONE. The joke is attributed to the Moro, though these days his Christian counterpart more easily fits the bill. The Moro trader is selling gold earrings, but one of his customers decides to test the authenticity of the product. He soaks the earrings in vinegar and, alas, the gold turns to dross. Unfazed, the trader exclaims, "Ah, clearly your vinegar is fake!"
Two. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP, the central bank) has just apologized to Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for issuing a P100-bill that misspells her name. Instead of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, what appears on it is Gloria Macapagal-Arrovo. The BSP hastened to assure the public the bill is not fake, it is valid legal tender. In fact, the BSP urged the public to rush to get it-as a bill that makes that mistake is a first in this country. It should be a collector's item, the BSP proposed.
The apology is misdirected. The BSP shouldn't be apologizing to Arroyo, it should be apologizing to the public. The glaring
mistake in that bill is not "Arrovo," it is "President." The "Arrovo" is real (notably given that "robo" is the Spanish word for robbery), the "President" is fake. It is a first in this country, someone who did not win the elections, having money made in her name. The bill is truly a collector's item in the same way that the Ferdinand Marcos bust in Agoo town is a real treasure, a monument to folly and a reminder of the depths to which this country can sink. A country that likes to tolerate authentic fakes.
Well, one thing in Arroyo's P100-bill is real enough. Its value has gotten smaller and smaller.
Three. Juan Ponce Enrile's logging company, San Jose Timber Corp., has a license to log but not to operate as a corporation. The Securities and Exchange Commission revoked SJTC's certificate of registration a couple of years ago for failure to comply with requirements. It has not lifted its revocation. Quite apart from that, Samareños, who fear the areas in their island that Enrile is determined to despoil may become other Ormocs and Infantas, say there's a current log ban covering the entire Samar Island.
Not so, say Enrile and Mike Defensor. Defensor, who issued an order in August allowing Enrile to break a 16-year-old logging ban in Samar, says it is perfectly legal.
Well, Enrile and Defensor have something in common. Enrile is the guy who faked an assassination attempt on himself to justify martial law and who made the term "dagdag-bawas" [vote-padding and vote-shaving] a household word. Defensor is the guy who abducted Panfilo Lacson's witness against Pidal and called it a rescue and who cited an American expert to prove the "Hello Garci" tape was doctored only to be refuted by the expert himself. They're both authentic fakes.
Four. What do Virgilio Garcillano and Elvis have in common? They have both been the subject of "sightings."
Some say they've seen the former election commissioner in Vietnam, others say they've spotted him in other parts of Southeast Asia. The region does not require a visa from nationals of Asean countries, thus allowing fugitives to sneak in without leaving a mark in Immigration. Still others say he's been sighted in Lanao and other parts of Muslim Mindanao, visiting relatives and other strangers. The last prompted Lacson to propose a way for Filipinos to become instant millionaires: Arrest Garci and turn him over to Congress. There's a standing P1-million reward for him.
I myself do not know how Congress settled on the bounty of P1 million. P1 for every vote of the one million votes Arroyo won over Fernando Poe Jr.?
Aquilino Pimentel though has another theory. The only place where Garcillano can be sighted now, he says, is either heaven or hell, though the second is more likely than the first. He personally does not think Garcillano is a current resident of earth. "Someone who holds that kind of information cannot be allowed to live," he says.
Of course, someone who can fake election returns can always fake his return from life, or death. A real fake can always fake or realize a fake reality. But his real absence is the best commentary on the fake presence of the current occupant of Malacañang. Elvis sang "Don't Be Cruel," Garcillano sang "Pipilitin ko po Ma'am." Elvis was called The King, Garcillano is (was?) just called names.
Five. During the recent Apec, Arroyo decried the conditions in Burma and vowed she would help bring democracy to that country. What are the signs of the lack of democracy in Burma and the robustness of it in the Philippines?
One, Burma has no elections; the Philippines has fake elections. Two, Burma is ruled by a vicious junta without the consent of the governed; the Philippines is ruled by a ruthless cabal without the consent of the governed. Three, Burma will not allow people like Aung San Suu Kyi to say what they have to say about the junta; the Philippines does not allow people, like Francisco Gudani and Alexander Balutan, to say what they have to say about the cabal. Burma gags its journalists; the Philippines kills its journalists. Burma has remained one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world; the Philippines has become one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world.
Those who can't do, teach.
Six. The First Couple say they went to Disneyland in Hong Kong for their "apo" [grandchildren]. Look at the picture of them that appeared in the Inquirer and see if that's so. They looked absolutely thrilled. The apo were probably bored.
They said they were also there to scout for investment opportunities. Well, they might not have found an opportunity for their country to get rich, but they might have done so for themselves. Disney would pay them a fortune just to not look like Goofy and Minnie Mouse.
Seven. In this country, when gold turns to dross at the touch of vinegar, the vinegar must be fake.
For those who want to read it themselves, just check out this link.
.
There's The Rub : Authentic fakes
By Conrado de Quiros
Inquirer News
ONE. The joke is attributed to the Moro, though these days his Christian counterpart more easily fits the bill. The Moro trader is selling gold earrings, but one of his customers decides to test the authenticity of the product. He soaks the earrings in vinegar and, alas, the gold turns to dross. Unfazed, the trader exclaims, "Ah, clearly your vinegar is fake!"
Two. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP, the central bank) has just apologized to Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for issuing a P100-bill that misspells her name. Instead of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, what appears on it is Gloria Macapagal-Arrovo. The BSP hastened to assure the public the bill is not fake, it is valid legal tender. In fact, the BSP urged the public to rush to get it-as a bill that makes that mistake is a first in this country. It should be a collector's item, the BSP proposed.
The apology is misdirected. The BSP shouldn't be apologizing to Arroyo, it should be apologizing to the public. The glaring
mistake in that bill is not "Arrovo," it is "President." The "Arrovo" is real (notably given that "robo" is the Spanish word for robbery), the "President" is fake. It is a first in this country, someone who did not win the elections, having money made in her name. The bill is truly a collector's item in the same way that the Ferdinand Marcos bust in Agoo town is a real treasure, a monument to folly and a reminder of the depths to which this country can sink. A country that likes to tolerate authentic fakes.
Well, one thing in Arroyo's P100-bill is real enough. Its value has gotten smaller and smaller.
Three. Juan Ponce Enrile's logging company, San Jose Timber Corp., has a license to log but not to operate as a corporation. The Securities and Exchange Commission revoked SJTC's certificate of registration a couple of years ago for failure to comply with requirements. It has not lifted its revocation. Quite apart from that, Samareños, who fear the areas in their island that Enrile is determined to despoil may become other Ormocs and Infantas, say there's a current log ban covering the entire Samar Island.
Not so, say Enrile and Mike Defensor. Defensor, who issued an order in August allowing Enrile to break a 16-year-old logging ban in Samar, says it is perfectly legal.
Well, Enrile and Defensor have something in common. Enrile is the guy who faked an assassination attempt on himself to justify martial law and who made the term "dagdag-bawas" [vote-padding and vote-shaving] a household word. Defensor is the guy who abducted Panfilo Lacson's witness against Pidal and called it a rescue and who cited an American expert to prove the "Hello Garci" tape was doctored only to be refuted by the expert himself. They're both authentic fakes.
Four. What do Virgilio Garcillano and Elvis have in common? They have both been the subject of "sightings."
Some say they've seen the former election commissioner in Vietnam, others say they've spotted him in other parts of Southeast Asia. The region does not require a visa from nationals of Asean countries, thus allowing fugitives to sneak in without leaving a mark in Immigration. Still others say he's been sighted in Lanao and other parts of Muslim Mindanao, visiting relatives and other strangers. The last prompted Lacson to propose a way for Filipinos to become instant millionaires: Arrest Garci and turn him over to Congress. There's a standing P1-million reward for him.
I myself do not know how Congress settled on the bounty of P1 million. P1 for every vote of the one million votes Arroyo won over Fernando Poe Jr.?
Aquilino Pimentel though has another theory. The only place where Garcillano can be sighted now, he says, is either heaven or hell, though the second is more likely than the first. He personally does not think Garcillano is a current resident of earth. "Someone who holds that kind of information cannot be allowed to live," he says.
Of course, someone who can fake election returns can always fake his return from life, or death. A real fake can always fake or realize a fake reality. But his real absence is the best commentary on the fake presence of the current occupant of Malacañang. Elvis sang "Don't Be Cruel," Garcillano sang "Pipilitin ko po Ma'am." Elvis was called The King, Garcillano is (was?) just called names.
Five. During the recent Apec, Arroyo decried the conditions in Burma and vowed she would help bring democracy to that country. What are the signs of the lack of democracy in Burma and the robustness of it in the Philippines?
One, Burma has no elections; the Philippines has fake elections. Two, Burma is ruled by a vicious junta without the consent of the governed; the Philippines is ruled by a ruthless cabal without the consent of the governed. Three, Burma will not allow people like Aung San Suu Kyi to say what they have to say about the junta; the Philippines does not allow people, like Francisco Gudani and Alexander Balutan, to say what they have to say about the cabal. Burma gags its journalists; the Philippines kills its journalists. Burma has remained one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world; the Philippines has become one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world.
Those who can't do, teach.
Six. The First Couple say they went to Disneyland in Hong Kong for their "apo" [grandchildren]. Look at the picture of them that appeared in the Inquirer and see if that's so. They looked absolutely thrilled. The apo were probably bored.
They said they were also there to scout for investment opportunities. Well, they might not have found an opportunity for their country to get rich, but they might have done so for themselves. Disney would pay them a fortune just to not look like Goofy and Minnie Mouse.
Seven. In this country, when gold turns to dross at the touch of vinegar, the vinegar must be fake.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Houston, We Have A Problem
I think our computers last week had some sort of a conspiracy and decided to have a mutiny, because by Friday, all of them suddenly conked out on us. Seriously. The computer downstairs (the one used by my ate and my kuya) hasn't really been functioning for a couple of weeks now. My desktop was fine (save for it being on Windows 98) until it suddenly decided to stop working in the middle of the week, when I had to print some documents for school. Fine. I still had Woofy. Or so I thought. I went back from school Saturday morning thinking I could play a couple of hours of Final Fantasy VIII (yes, it's an old game, but I still like it :p), I pull out my laptop, turned it on, grabbed my mouse... to have the wire drop limply on the floor. I initially thought that I just didn't plug it in well, so I tried to put it back in, except that it couldn't. Turned out that for some weird reason, the USB slot glued itself to the mouse's cable and was pulled with it.
So there. All three computers were down by Saturday. We brought all three to the shop. Turned out that the first one was programmed all wrong (we just had it repaired last month) and my desktop had its motherboard chewed by creepy crawlies when we were still in the province (disgusting, I know). As for Woofy, I will (hopefully) be able to get him 2-3 weeks from now, because they have to bring it to the main office of Acer to have the repairs done. I'm just thankful I got my desktop back now. I probably won't be able to update this blog that much until then. I'd still be able to go online (it helps me keep whatever sanity I have left), but not as frequently as I had before.
Howell.
So there. All three computers were down by Saturday. We brought all three to the shop. Turned out that the first one was programmed all wrong (we just had it repaired last month) and my desktop had its motherboard chewed by creepy crawlies when we were still in the province (disgusting, I know). As for Woofy, I will (hopefully) be able to get him 2-3 weeks from now, because they have to bring it to the main office of Acer to have the repairs done. I'm just thankful I got my desktop back now. I probably won't be able to update this blog that much until then. I'd still be able to go online (it helps me keep whatever sanity I have left), but not as frequently as I had before.
Howell.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Tanging Ikaw
Bawat araw akong naglalakbay
Umiikot, gumagala
Hindi alam kung saan patungo
Hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin
Pakiramdam ko na ako ay nalulunod
Dinadala ng mga along hindi nakikita
Pakiramdam ko'y umaakyat ako ng bundok na walang katapusan
Patuloy na pakikipaglaban sa mga bato at buhangin
Akala ko'y ako ang naghahanap
Ang katotohanan ay Ikaw ang nagsikap
Pagbalik ko sa Iyo ay tanging ligaya
Pagmamahal Mo'y aking muling nadarama
Ngayon Ikaw ay nakita
Pag-ibig mo ang tanging nais
Buhay ko ay aking iaalay
Ikaw lamang ang aking sinasamba.
[Haha! First attempt to try writing something in Filipino.:p Feel free to edit it for grammatical errors or whatever.]
Umiikot, gumagala
Hindi alam kung saan patungo
Hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin
Pakiramdam ko na ako ay nalulunod
Dinadala ng mga along hindi nakikita
Pakiramdam ko'y umaakyat ako ng bundok na walang katapusan
Patuloy na pakikipaglaban sa mga bato at buhangin
Akala ko'y ako ang naghahanap
Ang katotohanan ay Ikaw ang nagsikap
Pagbalik ko sa Iyo ay tanging ligaya
Pagmamahal Mo'y aking muling nadarama
Ngayon Ikaw ay nakita
Pag-ibig mo ang tanging nais
Buhay ko ay aking iaalay
Ikaw lamang ang aking sinasamba.
[Haha! First attempt to try writing something in Filipino.:p Feel free to edit it for grammatical errors or whatever.]
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
God's Best
[This is the first of two entries I have posted regarding this entry. This one is the one written recently, while the other, which follows right after this, was made a little less than a year ago. I haven’t read the one I wrote earlier again, so if you notice some differences between the two entries, feel free to point these out.]
Since 2/3 of the S.S. has decided to write about God’s Best in one way or the other, I feel this compulsion to write one of my own.:p Heehee! Just kidding, sorta.
Anyway, Marley was right when she said that this is one of the topics we love talking about. After all, almost every female (or even male) would eventually want to have a family of her (or his) own, and to care and be taken care of. Of course, we also talked about wanting to choose the right guy from the first; the first man we would have a relationship with will hopefully be the one we would also eventually marry.
I’ve always said that apart from God, I don’t want to base my happiness on another person, because that would be just, well, sad. Yet I won’t deny that I still want what I mentioned above. I would be lying if I said that I’m not looking forward to having a family of my own. Just how much exactly I give focus on that drove home when I realized that out of all the Christian books that I own, a huge chunk of it has been devoted to having relationships – Godly ones, certainly, but still on relationships. I have those written by Joshua Harris, Eric and Leslie Ludy, even Dr. Ron Raunikar. I don’t have anything against them, certainly. If I did, I would not have purchased (much less read) these in the first place. Yet I realize that by reading these, it allows me too much to daydream and focus on my ideal home: a wonderful husband, three kids (two guys and one girl, the latter being the youngest), and pets, especially dogs (See, I told you I’ve thought about it too often!) Reading these is not bad; in fact, it’s actually good, as it prepares a person for that certain time in life where God might call him/her to marriage. What isn’t really good is the aftermath of it. Some friends have commented more than once that the problem with us girls is that we are way too emotional, and I have to agree that it’s true at times. We want to find security and belongingness, and the problem enters when we want to have it now, and hopefully in the arms of a guy. I’m not generalizing that this applies to all girls, but this is applicable to a huge chunk of the female population. A part of the blame lies in the world and what it teaches – that a person cannot be complete without a “significant other.” You’re a complete loser if you haven’t found someone yet by the time you’re twelve years old. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but then again, maybe not.
Focusing way too much on this dims why it is called G.B. in the first place. It becomes Lani’s Best and not God’s Best, that is, it becomes too much centered on what I, we, want and not what His Will for us is. It’s like that bumper sticker I see from time to time that goes something like, “Lord, grant me patience right now.” We pray for our God’s Best without realizing that it becomes what we think is best and not what He wants for us. For that matter, how can we say that our G.B. has to be a person to begin with? It could be in the form of ministry, family, or friends, but not in terms of that so-called “significant other.” It’s G.B. because it’s God’s Best – His perfect plan for us. How can we challenge something so incredible? How can we say that what we want is better, when we can have what is the best? Besides, it’s a two-way thing if a person is meant to have a G.B.: it means that s/he is also the other’s G.B., or, as the people from the Bible study that I go to say, you have to be G.B. material yourself. This means developing on your character, and not just allowing yourself to be just the way you are. And yes, I know we can be stubborn and say, “Why do I have to change? He has to accept me just the way I am.” Borrowing from one of my history teachers in college: “That’s baloney.” If you will be just the way you are forever, you’d still be in the cradle sucking on your pacifier. We have a high expectation of who we want our G.B. to be, and we have to have it clear on the outset that chances are, the other person also expects a lot. As Christians, it’s a definite that we choose someone who’s also a follower of our Lord. How can we hope for someone like that when we don’t develop our relationship with Him? This does not mean that we only work on ourselves just so we can get something back. First of all, do we just continue to know more about Him just so we can get a “significant other”? Who are we fooling but ourselves? It’s an insult to God if we do that: to pretend to be in Christ when all we’re striving for is something extremely worldly. Besides, when we come to know Him and be serious in our faith, we can’t help but be changed by Him. It’s about following Him because we love Him, and not because we want to please someone else. If we do find someone, all well and good; if not, we have an Eternal Bridegroom waiting for us in Heaven.
I will probably never forget what Fr. Meehan said to us in our Th 151 class. He said that God loves us all universally, and at the same time, He loves each one of us personally, and one way of letting this love known to us is by being blessed with a spouse – the reason why marriage is given such importance in Church. A friend also once told me that being committed to someone entails maturity and stability in a person’s life. That’s one of the reasons that I now have when I renewed my commitment to Him. If it’s His will for me to have someone, then Thank You, Lord. I’m willing to wait 5, 10, how many years, knowing that it’s definitely God’s Best. Besides, I don’t want to bank on it that much now, because I know it’s not right for me yet. I’m still a student, for crying out loud! I still want that first guy to be the only one for me, God willing. If it’s not His will for me to be with someone, still, Thank You, Lord. That would be my G.B., and I know that He has a different plan for me, and not one involving matrimony. Besides, above it all, I know that no one else can complete me other than Him. I know, because He has always given me that security.
So now, two words will sum up what I will do: active waiting. For what, only He knows. For sure, I trust Him.
Song of Songs 3:5 “I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and hinds of the field, do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time.”
Since 2/3 of the S.S. has decided to write about God’s Best in one way or the other, I feel this compulsion to write one of my own.:p Heehee! Just kidding, sorta.
Anyway, Marley was right when she said that this is one of the topics we love talking about. After all, almost every female (or even male) would eventually want to have a family of her (or his) own, and to care and be taken care of. Of course, we also talked about wanting to choose the right guy from the first; the first man we would have a relationship with will hopefully be the one we would also eventually marry.
I’ve always said that apart from God, I don’t want to base my happiness on another person, because that would be just, well, sad. Yet I won’t deny that I still want what I mentioned above. I would be lying if I said that I’m not looking forward to having a family of my own. Just how much exactly I give focus on that drove home when I realized that out of all the Christian books that I own, a huge chunk of it has been devoted to having relationships – Godly ones, certainly, but still on relationships. I have those written by Joshua Harris, Eric and Leslie Ludy, even Dr. Ron Raunikar. I don’t have anything against them, certainly. If I did, I would not have purchased (much less read) these in the first place. Yet I realize that by reading these, it allows me too much to daydream and focus on my ideal home: a wonderful husband, three kids (two guys and one girl, the latter being the youngest), and pets, especially dogs (See, I told you I’ve thought about it too often!) Reading these is not bad; in fact, it’s actually good, as it prepares a person for that certain time in life where God might call him/her to marriage. What isn’t really good is the aftermath of it. Some friends have commented more than once that the problem with us girls is that we are way too emotional, and I have to agree that it’s true at times. We want to find security and belongingness, and the problem enters when we want to have it now, and hopefully in the arms of a guy. I’m not generalizing that this applies to all girls, but this is applicable to a huge chunk of the female population. A part of the blame lies in the world and what it teaches – that a person cannot be complete without a “significant other.” You’re a complete loser if you haven’t found someone yet by the time you’re twelve years old. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but then again, maybe not.
Focusing way too much on this dims why it is called G.B. in the first place. It becomes Lani’s Best and not God’s Best, that is, it becomes too much centered on what I, we, want and not what His Will for us is. It’s like that bumper sticker I see from time to time that goes something like, “Lord, grant me patience right now.” We pray for our God’s Best without realizing that it becomes what we think is best and not what He wants for us. For that matter, how can we say that our G.B. has to be a person to begin with? It could be in the form of ministry, family, or friends, but not in terms of that so-called “significant other.” It’s G.B. because it’s God’s Best – His perfect plan for us. How can we challenge something so incredible? How can we say that what we want is better, when we can have what is the best? Besides, it’s a two-way thing if a person is meant to have a G.B.: it means that s/he is also the other’s G.B., or, as the people from the Bible study that I go to say, you have to be G.B. material yourself. This means developing on your character, and not just allowing yourself to be just the way you are. And yes, I know we can be stubborn and say, “Why do I have to change? He has to accept me just the way I am.” Borrowing from one of my history teachers in college: “That’s baloney.” If you will be just the way you are forever, you’d still be in the cradle sucking on your pacifier. We have a high expectation of who we want our G.B. to be, and we have to have it clear on the outset that chances are, the other person also expects a lot. As Christians, it’s a definite that we choose someone who’s also a follower of our Lord. How can we hope for someone like that when we don’t develop our relationship with Him? This does not mean that we only work on ourselves just so we can get something back. First of all, do we just continue to know more about Him just so we can get a “significant other”? Who are we fooling but ourselves? It’s an insult to God if we do that: to pretend to be in Christ when all we’re striving for is something extremely worldly. Besides, when we come to know Him and be serious in our faith, we can’t help but be changed by Him. It’s about following Him because we love Him, and not because we want to please someone else. If we do find someone, all well and good; if not, we have an Eternal Bridegroom waiting for us in Heaven.
I will probably never forget what Fr. Meehan said to us in our Th 151 class. He said that God loves us all universally, and at the same time, He loves each one of us personally, and one way of letting this love known to us is by being blessed with a spouse – the reason why marriage is given such importance in Church. A friend also once told me that being committed to someone entails maturity and stability in a person’s life. That’s one of the reasons that I now have when I renewed my commitment to Him. If it’s His will for me to have someone, then Thank You, Lord. I’m willing to wait 5, 10, how many years, knowing that it’s definitely God’s Best. Besides, I don’t want to bank on it that much now, because I know it’s not right for me yet. I’m still a student, for crying out loud! I still want that first guy to be the only one for me, God willing. If it’s not His will for me to be with someone, still, Thank You, Lord. That would be my G.B., and I know that He has a different plan for me, and not one involving matrimony. Besides, above it all, I know that no one else can complete me other than Him. I know, because He has always given me that security.
So now, two words will sum up what I will do: active waiting. For what, only He knows. For sure, I trust Him.
Song of Songs 3:5 “I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and hinds of the field, do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time.”
Being in Love
I wouldn't really know if anyone could relate to me, but I was one of the people who dreaded Valentine's Day. After all, I really don't have anyone to celebrate it with. Considering that I'm also one the most cynical people you would ever know, I really think [even now] that the so-called "special event" is just something cooked up by Hallmark to become richer, and it doesn't really do anything to help anyone else anyway. Add to the fact that I'm bitter about it [for reasons that I choose not to divulge], and you get me as your Scrooge for Valentine's. If there's someone out there who is as cranky about the "holiday" as me, we can go and form our exclusive club.But why be bitter when we know that the greatest Being in the world loves us? God says of us, "You are precious in my eyes, and I love you" [Isaiah 43:4].Even more, why be resentful when the One who loves us is Love Himself? 1 John 4:16 says, "We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in Him." Be honest: do you really know anyone who would figuratively and literally give their lives for you out of love? I personally don't, no matter how much they love each other. How much more if one did something so horrible as to hurt the other? Yet because of His great love for us, Jesus chose to be crucified so as to save us from having the same fate. It's like whatis being shown in the movies, when the guy/girl intercepts the bullet with their own bodies so as to prevent it from hitting their loved one, who is really the intended receipient of it. Most people get "kilig" over those scenes, as I recall. What happens in real life is so much better though. Our lives came from God when He created us, but we turned our backs on Him when we sinned. Because of our mistakes, we find ourselves on the brink of death, but because Jesus loves us, He did not allow that to happen, and instead took our place and died in our stead. He who is sinless took our faults as His own to save us, and underwent through so much suffering: physical, emotional, mental, and even social. Yet He also rose from the dead, and He gave us a second chance at life. We already can feel His presence with us right now, but even more so when we end up being with Him forever. So we might not have physically someone with us. So what? We know that there's Someone who loves us even more than what the world can offer [Psalm 139]. Who knows? Maybe He can also provide another person for us. We shouldn't look for him/her in our own time though. Song of Songs 3:5b says, "Do not arouse or stir up love before her time has come." Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be given you." Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight in the Lord, and He will give the desires of your heart." If it is God's will, then there will be someone with us. Whatever may happen though, God calls us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love others as we love ourselves [Mark 12:30-31]. What then can we do? Instead of being bitter, or inversely, believing in the power of Hallmark, believe instead in true love, the one that comes from God, and that which He calls us to live for.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Looking Backwards and Forward
Yesterday was the last day of registration in Ateneo – a very significant date for those who have worked as RegCom volunteers. Not only does “last day” equate banquet, but the last day of second semester registration is particularly significant, as it means the election for the new batch of ExeCom members for the next year.
[At this point, I would like to provide a brief background for those who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. The Registration Committee, or RegCom (pronounced as REJ-com, not rEGG-com. We pronounce it as REJ-istration, not r-EGG-istration), is a group of Junior and Senior student volunteers under the Registrar’s Office who facilitate just about anything and everything connected with enrollment. The Executive Committee, or ExeCom, is composed of the RegCom Head, Secretariat Head, Logistics Head, and Assessment Supervisor, and these people are the ones who lead the entire organization.]
Like the rest of my batchmates who served in RegCom, I was invited by some of the outgoing Seniors (who used to be our Juniors) to attend the last day rites and celebration. Of course, I went.:p I wanted to see how they were all doing, from my batchmates, to our Juniors, to our Juniors’ Juniors, and everyone else who falls outside of these, like Sir JJ, who is the Registrar of the Loyola Schools, and who is like our dad in school.
During the video presentation the outgoing Seniors prepared for the Juniors, I was struck by the similarity of RegCom members, no matter from what batch they are coming from. The faces were almost coincidental, because if you compare their pictures with the pictures when we were serving, or even from the batches before us, there’s this almost eerie similarity with all of them. I don’t know if it’s the posture, the way we hold ourselves, our outlooks which are somehow reflected in photo paper, but there’s this something that would identify someone as a member of this prestigious (yes, it truly is) organization. It’s not because we have our own language that we alone could understand, or have inside jokes that only we can laugh at. Who else can understand what RO (not CMT), BatCave, Code Mercury, TC, PC, DC, Pitiker, and ETAs mean? Who else knows Sir JJ, Ate Gemma, Ate Dindin, Ate Carmen, Ate Donna, Kuya Sammy, Kuya Angel, Kuya Joel, Kuya Erick, and the rest of the “unrecognized” people of the admin? Who else would think purple and green pens, along with pink, blue, and white slips of paper are highly significant, or would automatically shush upon entering SS Conference Rooms 1 and 2? Who else would believe that VCDS are core values that are to be lived?
It’s funny. RegCom is one of the reasons why I have truly enjoyed college, yet the beginning of my story with it is far from noble (along with some others, if I were to be honest). During our sophomore year, a couple of friends and I decided to enter RegCom solely because of the early registration privilege. The screening process involved going through an interview, and although I didn’t feel as though it would be a breeze, I was reasonably confident about it. After all, the interviewees were a couple of students just like me, right? Wrong. There were two guys who interviewed me (I would later find out that one is the RegCom Head, and the other is the Logistics Head), and they disabused me of my notion. Sure, they did not smirk or become nasty to me, but they were really unnaturally quiet. If it were nighttime, I probably would have heard the crickets chirping, because they did not say anything that is outside of the questions they were asking me. When asked why I wanted to enter RegCom, I blurted out “For the early registration!” before the words popped in my head, because of the way they just looked at me. Lie detectors would not be needed if they were hired to screen out suspects. After the interview, I honestly did not think that I would be accepted because of the stupidest things that kept popping out of my mouth (out of the hundred or so people who try out, they only accept a small chunk of it). Wonder of wonders! I got accepted! I became really excited about that, but I got deflated again during our first GA. The Seniors were rod-stiff and poker-faced in their seats. The ExeCom members were worse, if that were possible. Even a friend, a self-confessed taray queen, barely managed a squeaky reply when the Head talked to her, after promising that she will freeze him in his shoes with a glare. After the GA, we were made to sign up to the subcommittee we wanted to be part of. At that time, there were only three: Food, Promotions, and Marketing. I really wanted to be in Promotions, but because of the rush to get good slots, I ended up being in the committee that just about everyone avoided, and with good reason: Marketing. I was thinking, “This could not get any worse,” because I ended up in a subcommittee that no one wants to be in, and I also foresaw a very tense relationship we Juniors will have with our Seniors. My guess was not far-off the mark: there were these tensions that developed between the two groups. RegCom’s core values are forcibly ingrained in our heads: Volunteerism, Commitment, Service, and Discipline. It was like entering a military school, because the discipline was really, really intense. You have to try to be perfect in everything that you do, because, as our Head pointed out, “There’s no room for complacency.” To make signs, you have to first fold it 32 times, and then use this color of pen for that purpose, and everything. The Secretariat Head said that our signs should as much as possible not look like it was handwritten. During our time, class schedules had to be written by hand also, and because of the sheer number courses and classes, we ended up taking home work that should be submitted the day after. Call time during prep days and actual registration was at 6 a.m., so I’d get up at around 3:30 and then be off before 5. We’d be dismissed at around 9-10 p.m. because of the number of work that had to be done. The next day would be the same schedule. Even with the nametag, you would still be called “RegCom” (and hopefully by the correct pronunciation!) as though you were a non-person but an entity created solely to serve them (which is in some way true). During actual registration, you will get yelled at by virtually all members of the Loyola Schools community: the students, faculty members, parents of the students, and other employees. What I love saying is that your whole RegCom experience will not be complete if you were not yelled by these people at least once in your career in the organization. The authorities were not much help, because although they did teach us what to do in this or that situation, they weren’t all that friendly about it (if some of my Seniors are reading this, I apologize for this, but this is what I felt and saw at that time). Actually, being “not friendly” is an understatement. I remembered this one time when I wanted to cry out of sheer anger and frustration because of someone who gave me wrong instructions and then suddenly reversed it and made it seem like it was my fault when things fell apart. It was a really horrible experience, and I during those times, I seriously considered leaving the organization. My thoughts were somewhere in the line of, “I am sacrificing my sem break for this?!” Not only do we not have as long a break as the other students, but we had to endure the nastiness of our Seniors as well as the people we have promised to serve. The only compensation we received, not counting the fact the meals we received, was the “early registration privilege,” which did not ensure that we get our first choice of classes. My schedule during the first semester of my Senior year wasn’t the best – my first class started at 0730 a.m. and ends at 0900 pm. The privilege was more of a necessity and not a gift, because we couldn’t have served the students and enrolled for ourselves at the same time. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t paid, unlike the scholars who are also volunteers for the registration period. In my mind, we were just a bunch of sado-masochists. Our former Head said it very well: “We’re a nameless, faceless, and thankless organization.”
Yet I found myself always coming back to serve the students. Even when I have already graduated, I still went back to serve Summer of this year. Sure, we receive all the flack if the registration doesn’t go that well even if we’re not the ones at fault. Sure, we only get free meals out of weeks of working. Sure, we’re probably the most hated organization (which is actually a misnomer; we’re not an org but a student arm of the school administration). Sure, we barely get any rest because we spend our breaks working in school instead of enjoying our sem or summer break. Yet there is this certain fulfillment that we get by working. I have said in that horrible interview that I like helping people, and that did not change. There’s this warm glow of accomplishment that I feel at the end of the reg day, especially if we made the students have an easier – and hopefully happier – registration process. I’ve loved RegCom so much that I did not hesitate to go the extra mile for the organization. When I was made one of the Marketing heads, I gave them my promise that I would do the best that I can. Our batchmates also made the promise that we would not treat our Juniors the way we were treated. That year was great. I did my best to keep the promise that I gave them. I was praying really hard those times for help in getting sponsors, managing them, while balancing it with academics as well as actual registration work, since most of the marketing work – meeting with sponsors, negotiating, etc. – happens during the semester. There were difficulties we’ve encountered –sponsors backing out at the last minute or not paying us at all, red tape, missing paraphernalia of the sponsors, etc., as well as the fact that outside of my co-heads and I, there was barely anyone else working for marketing. Thank God that we overcame through all that, and the sub-committee churned out very good output. We were on really good terms with them, and even now, I can go and just hang with them knowing that they’re not petrified of me (at least, I hope not.:P I don’t think so, though, considering that they love picking on me anyway :D). There were differences, of course; those will never be fully gone. Outside of those, it was really great. The RegCom Room in Colayco will always be a happy place for me.:D I learned so much from the organization not just in terms of the training, which is really amazing, but also but myself. RegCom is definitely a good character builder. It also united very different people into a common purpose, which is amazing. We might have had different reasons to stay, but in the end, we were all in it together, as cliché as that may sound.
[At this point, I would like to provide a brief background for those who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. The Registration Committee, or RegCom (pronounced as REJ-com, not rEGG-com. We pronounce it as REJ-istration, not r-EGG-istration), is a group of Junior and Senior student volunteers under the Registrar’s Office who facilitate just about anything and everything connected with enrollment. The Executive Committee, or ExeCom, is composed of the RegCom Head, Secretariat Head, Logistics Head, and Assessment Supervisor, and these people are the ones who lead the entire organization.]
Like the rest of my batchmates who served in RegCom, I was invited by some of the outgoing Seniors (who used to be our Juniors) to attend the last day rites and celebration. Of course, I went.:p I wanted to see how they were all doing, from my batchmates, to our Juniors, to our Juniors’ Juniors, and everyone else who falls outside of these, like Sir JJ, who is the Registrar of the Loyola Schools, and who is like our dad in school.
During the video presentation the outgoing Seniors prepared for the Juniors, I was struck by the similarity of RegCom members, no matter from what batch they are coming from. The faces were almost coincidental, because if you compare their pictures with the pictures when we were serving, or even from the batches before us, there’s this almost eerie similarity with all of them. I don’t know if it’s the posture, the way we hold ourselves, our outlooks which are somehow reflected in photo paper, but there’s this something that would identify someone as a member of this prestigious (yes, it truly is) organization. It’s not because we have our own language that we alone could understand, or have inside jokes that only we can laugh at. Who else can understand what RO (not CMT), BatCave, Code Mercury, TC, PC, DC, Pitiker, and ETAs mean? Who else knows Sir JJ, Ate Gemma, Ate Dindin, Ate Carmen, Ate Donna, Kuya Sammy, Kuya Angel, Kuya Joel, Kuya Erick, and the rest of the “unrecognized” people of the admin? Who else would think purple and green pens, along with pink, blue, and white slips of paper are highly significant, or would automatically shush upon entering SS Conference Rooms 1 and 2? Who else would believe that VCDS are core values that are to be lived?
It’s funny. RegCom is one of the reasons why I have truly enjoyed college, yet the beginning of my story with it is far from noble (along with some others, if I were to be honest). During our sophomore year, a couple of friends and I decided to enter RegCom solely because of the early registration privilege. The screening process involved going through an interview, and although I didn’t feel as though it would be a breeze, I was reasonably confident about it. After all, the interviewees were a couple of students just like me, right? Wrong. There were two guys who interviewed me (I would later find out that one is the RegCom Head, and the other is the Logistics Head), and they disabused me of my notion. Sure, they did not smirk or become nasty to me, but they were really unnaturally quiet. If it were nighttime, I probably would have heard the crickets chirping, because they did not say anything that is outside of the questions they were asking me. When asked why I wanted to enter RegCom, I blurted out “For the early registration!” before the words popped in my head, because of the way they just looked at me. Lie detectors would not be needed if they were hired to screen out suspects. After the interview, I honestly did not think that I would be accepted because of the stupidest things that kept popping out of my mouth (out of the hundred or so people who try out, they only accept a small chunk of it). Wonder of wonders! I got accepted! I became really excited about that, but I got deflated again during our first GA. The Seniors were rod-stiff and poker-faced in their seats. The ExeCom members were worse, if that were possible. Even a friend, a self-confessed taray queen, barely managed a squeaky reply when the Head talked to her, after promising that she will freeze him in his shoes with a glare. After the GA, we were made to sign up to the subcommittee we wanted to be part of. At that time, there were only three: Food, Promotions, and Marketing. I really wanted to be in Promotions, but because of the rush to get good slots, I ended up being in the committee that just about everyone avoided, and with good reason: Marketing. I was thinking, “This could not get any worse,” because I ended up in a subcommittee that no one wants to be in, and I also foresaw a very tense relationship we Juniors will have with our Seniors. My guess was not far-off the mark: there were these tensions that developed between the two groups. RegCom’s core values are forcibly ingrained in our heads: Volunteerism, Commitment, Service, and Discipline. It was like entering a military school, because the discipline was really, really intense. You have to try to be perfect in everything that you do, because, as our Head pointed out, “There’s no room for complacency.” To make signs, you have to first fold it 32 times, and then use this color of pen for that purpose, and everything. The Secretariat Head said that our signs should as much as possible not look like it was handwritten. During our time, class schedules had to be written by hand also, and because of the sheer number courses and classes, we ended up taking home work that should be submitted the day after. Call time during prep days and actual registration was at 6 a.m., so I’d get up at around 3:30 and then be off before 5. We’d be dismissed at around 9-10 p.m. because of the number of work that had to be done. The next day would be the same schedule. Even with the nametag, you would still be called “RegCom” (and hopefully by the correct pronunciation!) as though you were a non-person but an entity created solely to serve them (which is in some way true). During actual registration, you will get yelled at by virtually all members of the Loyola Schools community: the students, faculty members, parents of the students, and other employees. What I love saying is that your whole RegCom experience will not be complete if you were not yelled by these people at least once in your career in the organization. The authorities were not much help, because although they did teach us what to do in this or that situation, they weren’t all that friendly about it (if some of my Seniors are reading this, I apologize for this, but this is what I felt and saw at that time). Actually, being “not friendly” is an understatement. I remembered this one time when I wanted to cry out of sheer anger and frustration because of someone who gave me wrong instructions and then suddenly reversed it and made it seem like it was my fault when things fell apart. It was a really horrible experience, and I during those times, I seriously considered leaving the organization. My thoughts were somewhere in the line of, “I am sacrificing my sem break for this?!” Not only do we not have as long a break as the other students, but we had to endure the nastiness of our Seniors as well as the people we have promised to serve. The only compensation we received, not counting the fact the meals we received, was the “early registration privilege,” which did not ensure that we get our first choice of classes. My schedule during the first semester of my Senior year wasn’t the best – my first class started at 0730 a.m. and ends at 0900 pm. The privilege was more of a necessity and not a gift, because we couldn’t have served the students and enrolled for ourselves at the same time. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t paid, unlike the scholars who are also volunteers for the registration period. In my mind, we were just a bunch of sado-masochists. Our former Head said it very well: “We’re a nameless, faceless, and thankless organization.”
Yet I found myself always coming back to serve the students. Even when I have already graduated, I still went back to serve Summer of this year. Sure, we receive all the flack if the registration doesn’t go that well even if we’re not the ones at fault. Sure, we only get free meals out of weeks of working. Sure, we’re probably the most hated organization (which is actually a misnomer; we’re not an org but a student arm of the school administration). Sure, we barely get any rest because we spend our breaks working in school instead of enjoying our sem or summer break. Yet there is this certain fulfillment that we get by working. I have said in that horrible interview that I like helping people, and that did not change. There’s this warm glow of accomplishment that I feel at the end of the reg day, especially if we made the students have an easier – and hopefully happier – registration process. I’ve loved RegCom so much that I did not hesitate to go the extra mile for the organization. When I was made one of the Marketing heads, I gave them my promise that I would do the best that I can. Our batchmates also made the promise that we would not treat our Juniors the way we were treated. That year was great. I did my best to keep the promise that I gave them. I was praying really hard those times for help in getting sponsors, managing them, while balancing it with academics as well as actual registration work, since most of the marketing work – meeting with sponsors, negotiating, etc. – happens during the semester. There were difficulties we’ve encountered –sponsors backing out at the last minute or not paying us at all, red tape, missing paraphernalia of the sponsors, etc., as well as the fact that outside of my co-heads and I, there was barely anyone else working for marketing. Thank God that we overcame through all that, and the sub-committee churned out very good output. We were on really good terms with them, and even now, I can go and just hang with them knowing that they’re not petrified of me (at least, I hope not.:P I don’t think so, though, considering that they love picking on me anyway :D). There were differences, of course; those will never be fully gone. Outside of those, it was really great. The RegCom Room in Colayco will always be a happy place for me.:D I learned so much from the organization not just in terms of the training, which is really amazing, but also but myself. RegCom is definitely a good character builder. It also united very different people into a common purpose, which is amazing. We might have had different reasons to stay, but in the end, we were all in it together, as cliché as that may sound.
---
During our first Legal Profession meeting last Friday, our professor made us write a short essay in answer to a question, which went something like, “Do you have a sincere desire to study law, or is it just for the glamour in society?” Although I already knew what my answer would be, the question still made me pause. Why am I in law school? It’s something that I haven’t asked myself since I entered, as my question before was always, “Why am I still in law school?” Amazing how a single word can change the entire meaning of a sentence. Anyway, I’m digressing. Of course, one reason will be because my mom wants me to. I’d be lying if I said that that’s not a factor in my choice. However, if there was no genuine desire for me to go, I would not have gone through the exam and to school no matter what people would have said.
Right off the bat, I can say that I’m not in it for the honor that society will give me. I never really cared what people would say about me, so it doesn’t matter whether they’d glorify me or look down on me. One reason why I wanted to study law is purely for academic reasons. I have always loved social sciences and humanities fields such as sociology (although my teacher in college wasn’t all that great), psychology, history, and philosophy. I like knowing about how the human mind works, and why people make this or that choice in their lives, and all that. It also allows me to broaden my mind, because these disciplines make you look at things from different perspectives and not limit you to only one or a couple of points-of-view. That was what drew me to law: the ability to be able to interpret the law and situations in different ways (yes, I can be nerdy. Sue me, especially if you find out the extent of my nerdiness). The other thing is quite funny. I keep talking (and knowing) about my cynicism, yet there are certain things where I am hopelessly idealistic of. This is one of them. I want to go into law because I believe there is still hope for our country. There are so many corrupt, twisted people here, yet I still believe that we can still have a bright future. I want to help make that change happen, even if my contribution would not be something gargantuan so as to be immediately noticeable. I want to help those who need it, but who do not have the means to have it. I want to let others know that they can make a change if they just desire for it. I know that God does not want us to fry in our own oil, and I know He has better plans for us, and it’s something that we can reach. This is something that makes me optimistic, because a law degree is not needed to achieve that. It will definitely help, because it gives the opportunity to reach out to those who we normally would not have access to. That’s why I want to go into the profession. If it’s not His Will for me to continue on, there are still other ways to make that change happen.
This is now my second semester in law school. Whatever may happen, may it be His Will that may happen. Might I be able to take care of what has been entrusted to me.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Love's Embrace
What love is this?
For one to offer his life for a friend
Though hated for the sacrifice
What love is this?
For a parent to receive a child with open arms
No matter how hated and betrayed
What love is this?
For a shepherd to look for a single lamb for fear of its life
Even with ninety-nine others
What love is this?
For a diver to give everything he owns
For a single pearl
What love is this?
For a person to offer food and shelter to a complete stranger
Without caring about the person's past
What love is this?
For Him to sacrifice perfection for filth
For those who made themselves strangers to Him
For one to offer his life for a friend
Though hated for the sacrifice
What love is this?
For a parent to receive a child with open arms
No matter how hated and betrayed
What love is this?
For a shepherd to look for a single lamb for fear of its life
Even with ninety-nine others
What love is this?
For a diver to give everything he owns
For a single pearl
What love is this?
For a person to offer food and shelter to a complete stranger
Without caring about the person's past
What love is this?
For Him to sacrifice perfection for filth
For those who made themselves strangers to Him
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
You know the country is going to the dogs when...
A news item about a person included the testimonials he received from his friends on Friendster.
Only in the Philippines.
Only in the Philippines.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Lyrics (wonder of wonders!)
Sunny Days
Jars of Clay
Sunny days keepin' the clouds away
I think we're coming to a clearing and a brighter day
So far away
Still I think they say
The wait will make the heart grow stronger or fonder
I can't quite remember anyway
So if you waitin' for love
Well it's a promise I'll keep
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter
Winter, Spring... is what love can truly bring
Ice turns to water, water flows to everything
You can lose your mind
Maybe then your heart you'll find
I hope your won't give up what's movin' you inside
If the car won't start, when you turn the key
When the music comes on
All your cold, cold heart can do is skip a beat
It's a promise I'll keep
When you're waiting for love
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Time will never matter
Jars of Clay
Sunny days keepin' the clouds away
I think we're coming to a clearing and a brighter day
So far away
Still I think they say
The wait will make the heart grow stronger or fonder
I can't quite remember anyway
So if you waitin' for love
Well it's a promise I'll keep
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter
Winter, Spring... is what love can truly bring
Ice turns to water, water flows to everything
You can lose your mind
Maybe then your heart you'll find
I hope your won't give up what's movin' you inside
If the car won't start, when you turn the key
When the music comes on
All your cold, cold heart can do is skip a beat
It's a promise I'll keep
When you're waiting for love
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Time will never matter
Side Comments
Thought about posting this along with the really long entry preceding it, but then figured out that it didn't need any help in length.:p Anyhow, here are some short stuff I can't help but mention that happened in EC05.:p Admittedly, some are shallow, some are not really worth taking note of, but as I can't rely on my very lousy memory, I decided to put it up here to aid in remembering.:)
~o~
Lani the Klutz strikes again! I really, really, really tried hard to be careful in moving, but I still knocked over the lyrics stand during the Singles talk, in front of just about everyone who belongs to it. Urgh. Felt my face burning up really bad that you probably could have put a kettle of water on top of my head and have it ready in a few minutes for coffee. I don't think I ever will grow out of that.
~o~
I have always loved "In the Light" by dc Talk, but it being performed with instrumentals was just... I am speechless, in a good way.
~o~
Thank God for angels - well, they were human beings, but I still think of 'em as heaven-sent - who saw to it that no one will suffer from intense back, leg, and foot pain for standing on the same spot for more than an hour. My limbs and my backbone are forever thankful.
~o~
I have been called many things, but two new adjectives have been attached to me: bionic and paranormal. Not only am I a cyborg, but a ghostly one at that.
~o~
Who would've thunk I'd meet the people I only knew before via the Internet? It was so cool to finally meet the people behind the avatars and posts. It's always way better to talk to people face-to-face rather than via the phone (mobile or landline), snail mail, or the computer. Those girls were great.:)
~o~
In connection with the previous blurb: no matter how old a person will be, if s/he is ready, willing, and able, s/he can always go and be a youth again - even if it meant giving more effort.
~o~
Confucius should have thought of this: S/he who shoots footage of the concert floor, tops of heads of people, and the ceiling, with shrieks as audio, loves the song.
Some peekchurs
Haha! So I'm bored and not sleepy.:p Sue me.:p Anyhow, these were taken only a few hours ago, during the birthday celebration of Elaine and Ate Lucille. By request, here are the peekchurs, at least the ones that are presentable enough to be posted.:)
Dapat stolen shot.:p
Pa-intense effect.:p
Too bad Ate Mich is hardly seen.:(
The Birthday Girls
The SS :p
Star for All Seasons
“All the world is a stage, and we are merely actors.”
- William Shakespeare
- William Shakespeare
[Although I do like the Bard’s work, I do not have a Shakespearean kick going. His quotes just seemed appropriate, for some reason, so I’m going to use these to help me make my point. Oh yeah, these are originally two entries that I merged into one, so I apologize for the length and for the parts that don’t seem to coincide with the other sections.]
Owing to my cynicism of many years [cue in Aerosmith’s “Jaded”], I have known and believed what William Shakespeare has said. I considered just about everyone to wear these masks fit for the company that they will be attending to, and would soon as shed one in favor of the other faster than you can say “façade.” In the present, I still believe in that to a certain degree. This is partly due to the fact that there is still a bit of a cynic in me. After all, who can deny that superficiality still exists, and is actually thriving? What with all the backstabbing and crab mentality going on around us, a person is hard-put to remain optimistic. Yet there is also truth in that certain people should be treated differently from others, not to conceal a part of one’s self, but because the circumstances call for it. You can’t go and treat your professor as your kabarkada in the classroom if you fear for your grade, for example. Yet that does not mean that you have to change your personality depending on who you are with. Don’t have multiple personalities – not only is that a psychological disorder, but the longer you keep on the mask, the more it becomes integrated in you that you end up being who you’re pretending to be. Always be true to yourself, but don’t be so bullheaded to force yourself upon others’ throats. Act according to the situation. In the same way, don’t try to hide who you are behind a mask when you are facing others. Otherwise, they’ll like you for who they are, and not for who you are. Young people, especially, seem to face this struggle more than the others, because in this age, there is always this need to belong to something, so much so that we end up risking who we are just so we can be liked. Otherwise, if we miss our cue, we end up being the laughingstock or the outcast of the play we are in where we barely know the script.
What am I getting at? Simply that we can’t go and pretend to be someone that we’re not. I recently had a talk with a friend who can’t bring himself to call himself a Christian because he felt that he didn’t deserve that name anymore. To connect it to a previous entry, we are Christians not because of who we are, but who He is. Yes, we definitely do not deserve to be His children, but by God’s grace and love, He made it so. It is also by His love that He made us different from each other. I’ve said this over and over again, but it’s really something that I want to emphasize – that we really were made not to be similar. We need not pretend to be someone else because we’re special the way we are. That’s how He made us so. All of us have different God-given gifts that we can tap into. It is up to us whether we choose to utilize these or not.
To further connect it to the other entry [yes, I know that that was long enough, but I really feel that there’s so much to be said about the topic], we cannot put on the label “Christian” as a sort of a shirt that we can pull on and off of us when we feel like it. Sure, other people might be properly impressed by that mask, but in the end, who are we fooling? Ourselves? God? I can’t help but think of this couple who tried deceiving God, and ended up literally falling dead on their feet. Don’t believe me? Read Acts 5:1-11 and see what happened to Ananias and Saphira. It wasn’t so much because they withheld a part of the sum of money that should have been their tithe, but because they tried to fool God. I don’t know if there are any cases of people dropping dead when they decided to lie to God, but the point is, God does not want their material sacrifice in place of their souls. Psalm 51:18 says it: “For You do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering You will not accept.” How can we go and lie to Him, when He knows even the number of hair strands on our head (Mt 10:30)? To be a Christian means to live as a Christian in every facet of life, not one, two, or three, but everything.
~
Almost a couple of weeks ago, I attended a conference of this Christian community that I recently joined. It was really cool because initially, I didn’t think I’d be able to attend, considering that I always go home to the province during the semestral breaks (even with the few days left when I served in RegCom for two years). Anyhow, thank God that He allowed me to go, because I was really blessed with the experience of attending the conference. It wasn’t just the talks that really brought enlightenment to me; the presence of the people themselves was a huge blessing. I’m not just talking about the friends (both old and new) I had there. Seeing and knowing that there are hundreds of people who are just ready to worship Jesus and giving everything that they’ve got – even more – to the Lord is just amazing. I can’t express it in words. Even if I danced and sang the way they did before, it wouldn’t be enough to convey just how much I felt blessed by all that has happened. What was also powerful was the delegation of participants from just about all over the world. It was really great to see that in spite of the language barrier, the cultural differences between the races, the people were really united to worship the Lord. Age also did not matter. It was really amazing to see people, however old they were, bouncing up and down, shouting praises to Him, dancing and singing with all their heart to worship Him. To see these people, and to know that they were called there by God to know Him more and to be part of the harvest, and even the thought that they would bring others to God, that there will be others who would come to know God is just amazing.
There was this message given that was really striking for me, and it’s about worship. Yes, we could worship Him in the ways I described above, but it’s not really limited to that. True worship means complete obedience to what He wills for us. It’s not about segregating a chunk of our life and saying, “Lord, this one’s for You!” It’s the totality of who we are that God wants. It’s not about basing our worship on our condition. It’s about praising Him for everything that’s going with us, even if the situation that we’re in isn’t all that great. I particularly loved this quote that the speaker gave during his talk, that the size of our enemy is the size of God’s confidence in us. That is just completely amazing. It adds a whole new dimension to the promises He gave in the Bible. He says 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in our witness, and it supports Matthew 11:28-30, that He is the source of our relief and strength in our burdens. It’s really amazing that even if He allowed us to experience trial that He knows we’re capable of handling, He is still there to support us. That’s not something that we should lose sight of, because it’s all about Him in the end. Feelings may come and go, but God is constant. I love this song of Relient K, because its message is that the trials that we are going through will never overpower the promise of being in God’s presence forever. That is a very beautiful thing to look forward to, to finally be with Him for all eternity, and to just bask in His love and to praise and worship Him anytime and every time. To believe that we can be overcome by our trials is to disbelieve in God’s power. He is God, and nothing is impossible in Him. He has defeated sin and death; how much more our puny struggles? In these situations, it would be better if we focused on Him and what He is trying to teach us and not on the suffering itself. Otherwise, we would end up just huddled in a corner, bawling our eyes out. He always has a reason for everything that He does, and all of these are a result of His great love for us. He makes us go through tough situations not as a form of punishment, but to cleanse us of our impurities.
When I was younger, I couldn’t really understand what it meant when they said that God allows trials to test us? I’d be like, “Test us for what?” It was only until a few years ago that I truly understood what that meant, that He tries us to test our devotion for Him. What kind of ground are we that the seeds which the sower threw fell on? It’s not to taunt us that we are worthless whenever we fall – quite the opposite. He wants us to grow as Christians who are living for Him. How can we know we truly do love and serve Him when everything is always so cotton candy-perfect for us? He wants us to learn how to be humble. How can we boast of something that is not really from us? He wants us to share in His sufferings, and also to be able to aid to those who are suffering. How can we help them when we don’t know what they’re going through? That’s a major thing I learned in the Excellence Conference: that to be excellent is not to put ourselves above others, but to humble ourselves and be willing to serve, not (just) in the way that we think, but also outside of that. John 7:18 says that “whoever speaks on his own seeks his own glory, but whoever seeks the glory of the One who sent him is truthful, and there is no wrong in him.” It’s not about furthering our own agenda. If we did that, God will know about it. What will happen then is that we seek to glorify ourselves and not Him – a version of the so-called “Sunday Christians.” It’s about serving Him through others, and lifting it up for His greater glory, and we do it not for its own sake, but because of our love for Him. There was this part in the homily of the Archbishop, when he said something to the effect that it’s not about the grandiose actions that we do just for the sake of doing them that counts. Even if we do the littlest things, if these are out of love, they’re definitely more meaningful than acts so obvious as to positively be shouting, “K.S.P.!” It’s not about acting. It’s about a genuine move to show that it’s really out of love that you’re doing it. As He loved us, so should we love Him.
John 15:19 – “If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you.”
Friday, November 04, 2005
Odes
I recently went to an art exhibit, some of the works interpretations of some Bible verses. They say a picture paints a thousand words, but since I haven’t tried working with that medium yet, I’ll stick to yet more text.:) After all, words can be taken in so many ways too.
Mark 12:30
I worship You with my heart, Lord;
Though emotions may come and go
My desire for You will never pass away
My heart sings of Your love.
I worship You with my soul, Lord;
The Dark One might try to overpower me
But Your eternal light destroys the blackness
My soul rejoices in Your eternal presence.
I worship You with my mind, Lord;
The world might offer philosophy and knowledge
Yet You are the only One I can truly believe in
My mind believes in Your power and glory.
I worship You with my strength, Lord;
My body may be weak
Yet my feet constantly dance, my hands unceasingly clap
My strength is offered for Your glory.
I worship You with all my being, Lord;
Though I might continually fall and fail,
To You I turn to for love, strength, and grace
I offer my life to You as a living sacrifice.
John 14:6
A veritable maze known as decision-making
Labyrinth with many a minotaur lurking in the corners
A wrong turn, a false path
And I find myself running into a brick wall, falling into a pit.
Yet there is a correct path, with a Rescuer present
And He who saves us from the confusion is the Way Himself.
A tangled rosebush known as humanity
A single offering of a blossom for a dozen other thorns
Though beauty alluringly presents itself
One touch, and blood seeps out.
Yet there is the whole truth for those who believe
The King of all that is good is the Truth Himself.
A raging ocean known as life
The swallower of all things, big and small alike
Lack of any form of protection or guardianship
And one drowns, or else ends up drifting pointlessly.
Yet in such a vast disorder, safety can be found
He who provides the lifeline, is Life Himself.
And a bonus...
Rock
Look around you, what do you see?
Death, decay, and desecration
There is not one who remains pure
All have fallen away.
Sense around you, and what do you feel?
Seemingly endless suffering, whether yours or some other’s
There is not one who is excempted from this
All feel pain and rejection.
Lord, I turn to You for strength
You are my strong tower, my refuge
You bring water to the thirsty, food to the hungry
You have saved us from death that is worse than death.
My heart sings praises to You, Father
For all You have done, for all that You are doing, for all that You will do
What can stand against You?
You reign as Lord and King of all.
You are the Master of all that is good
When I look for You, You are always there
When I cry for You, You always answer
You are our sure foundation.
Mark 12:30
I worship You with my heart, Lord;
Though emotions may come and go
My desire for You will never pass away
My heart sings of Your love.
I worship You with my soul, Lord;
The Dark One might try to overpower me
But Your eternal light destroys the blackness
My soul rejoices in Your eternal presence.
I worship You with my mind, Lord;
The world might offer philosophy and knowledge
Yet You are the only One I can truly believe in
My mind believes in Your power and glory.
I worship You with my strength, Lord;
My body may be weak
Yet my feet constantly dance, my hands unceasingly clap
My strength is offered for Your glory.
I worship You with all my being, Lord;
Though I might continually fall and fail,
To You I turn to for love, strength, and grace
I offer my life to You as a living sacrifice.
John 14:6
A veritable maze known as decision-making
Labyrinth with many a minotaur lurking in the corners
A wrong turn, a false path
And I find myself running into a brick wall, falling into a pit.
Yet there is a correct path, with a Rescuer present
And He who saves us from the confusion is the Way Himself.
A tangled rosebush known as humanity
A single offering of a blossom for a dozen other thorns
Though beauty alluringly presents itself
One touch, and blood seeps out.
Yet there is the whole truth for those who believe
The King of all that is good is the Truth Himself.
A raging ocean known as life
The swallower of all things, big and small alike
Lack of any form of protection or guardianship
And one drowns, or else ends up drifting pointlessly.
Yet in such a vast disorder, safety can be found
He who provides the lifeline, is Life Himself.
And a bonus...
Rock
Look around you, what do you see?
Death, decay, and desecration
There is not one who remains pure
All have fallen away.
Sense around you, and what do you feel?
Seemingly endless suffering, whether yours or some other’s
There is not one who is excempted from this
All feel pain and rejection.
Lord, I turn to You for strength
You are my strong tower, my refuge
You bring water to the thirsty, food to the hungry
You have saved us from death that is worse than death.
My heart sings praises to You, Father
For all You have done, for all that You are doing, for all that You will do
What can stand against You?
You reign as Lord and King of all.
You are the Master of all that is good
When I look for You, You are always there
When I cry for You, You always answer
You are our sure foundation.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Name-Calling
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
- Romeo and Juliet (Act II, Sc. II)
- Romeo and Juliet (Act II, Sc. II)
Zy-Za and I were brainstorming (well, more like braindrizzling) in a coffee shop on what the title of her blog will be a few months ago. Since we were feeling particularly loony that day (trust me, drinking coffee when you’re already hyper is totally not a good idea), the stuff that came out were titles that bands would probably sue us for practically mangling their names. Some notable ones were Switchsock, Sonicpatak, Bangang Putik, Baby Katina, and other such mutilations that are practically lawsuits in the making. She eventually didn’t take one of those titles, though, as you can see.:D
It took some time to percolate in my head to come up with an entry with at least a bit of sense, but that instance got me thinking on the value of names. From time immemorial, names were given to objects, the name-giver exerting authority over what has been named. God giving Adam the authority to name the animals in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:19-20) shows that He allowed man to be the caretaker and overseer of His creations. Nowadays, some inventions or discoveries are named after the creator or founder, probably to preserve the memory in a more lasting way. Names were given to label an object as something. The scientific names of cats (felis domestica) and dogs (canis familiaris), for example, are dead giveaways. In the past, monickers were also given to warriors depending on their attributes, and end up being their title of sorts. Names are also given to denote belongingness to a certain organization, such as surnames that let other people know that the person belongs to this or that clan/family, or membership to a group. Some names, on the other hand, seem like quirks of fate. A fish might not have been called a “fish” and instead a “book” if the circumstances made the person who coined the word think of the latter word. People who end up with unpleasant names (I’d rather not give examples of these, so as not to disrepect them) are victims of these. This doesn’t completely negate the Bard’s declaration, however, especially if the object belongs to the last category – names that are given almost by accident. A person may still remain the exact same being regardless of the name given to him/her – but then again, maybe not, we will never know. What I understood from the philosophy given by William Shakespeare is that the name in itself is not important – it is the core of the person/object that would matter. Some people go off and have their names changed for whatever reason they might present, but be it their old or new name, it would still be the same person at the end of the day.
Yet names are not worthless. Not at all. A person’s identity becomes so intertwined with his/her name that one virtually cannot be separated from the other. Once a person acquires a name, s/he has the responsibility to take care of it, unless s/he wants to bring dishonor to that name.
As Christians, we have a greater responsibility in protecting the name, not only for ourselves and for other people but for God as well. The word “Christian” itself gives a two-fold definition – one that is intrinsic, and another that is extrinsic. We are Christians in that we believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour. Being a Christian also means that we have to be Christ-like, for we belong to Him. That’s why we have to be careful in our demeanor, whether or not other people may see us or not, because we are of Christ, and we should not bring Him dishonor. What right do we have to do that, when He gave everything for us? He did more than just die on the Cross for us – He gave us a second chance at life, life that He Himself gave in the first place, and which we abused and wasted heedlessly. He does not impose on all people to go and act in a restricted fashion – the freedom of choice that He gave us. Yet upon knowing what He has done for us, would we really still want to turn our backs from Him? That is why protecting the name of Christianity is important. We don’t just go and proclaim to the world what our belief lies in, but we also serve as witnesses for God. We have the responsibility not only to ourselves, but more importantly, to other Christians whose name might be tainted to some people because we, upon proclaiming that we belong to God, proceed to act as though we don’t.
Sure, it’s just so easy to keep it up there in your head, but the practice of that is much more difficult. We might go and pray, read the Bible, and attend Bible study or other such similar activities, but outside of that, we go off and act as though we don’t know God at all. Sure, we have the tendency to think highly of ourselves (the pride talking) because we do those things compared to those who don’t, but that’s just self-righteousness. A friend once told us a story of a guy who is the son of a pastor. He tells people who know him that he’s a Christian, yet his actions show otherwise: He does substances, parties all day and all night, and does just about everything to please the flesh. One day, one of his friends approached him and asked him if he was a Christian, to which he replied proudly that he is. The other guy looks at him and then says, “So Christians aren’t different from other people, after all.” The guy was so shocked at that that he immediately repented. Once we accept Him in our life, it means that we offer our whole lives as a pleasing sacrifice for Him, and that means to live for His glory and honor. If we go and proclaim that we are and yet do what is contrary to this, we also affect other people, especially those who don’t know Him yet. They might think that it’s ok to those things since we, who are forward in shouting His name, do these anyway.
God wants not just a chunk of a person to worship Him – He wants the entire person, and that means that a person who genuinely desires to have a deeper relationship with Him has to surrender all facets of life to Him. He’s not only asking for our Church life or our family life – He wants everything. It’s not about being a perfect little angel in front of your parents and to those you have fellowship with, and then act completely different in front of other people because it seems that it’s what the situation requires. If that is the case, then you’re following not Jesus, but what the world is saying. It’s faux Christianity, because you’re doing it only to please some people and not really God. Yes, it cannot be denied that we fall – it’s human nature. We can never be perfect no matter how hard we try; there is only One who is perfect, and that is God. Does that mean, then, that however hard we try, we will never be able to please Him? No. This is where the first definition of our faith comes in, that we belong in His Kingdom (Rm 8:38), as long as we humbly offer ourselves to Him and acknowledge our sins. Reading the preceding chapter of this from Romans, the text talks about Christians who still commit sin (Rm 9:13-25). We know that certain actions are not pleasing in God’s eyes, and yet we still do these anyway. In effect, we do things that we hate. What can we do then? It is to rely in the power of God’s grace through Jesus, for He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (Jn 14:6). We submit our lives to Him. It’s an honest and sincere move on our part to live for Him alone. That is what genuine repentance means: to not only feel sorry for our sins but to make an honest and genuine commitment to not do these again. We’re standing up for Jesus, and we must take care that we truly do live for Him. Our actions, our thoughts, everything that we are should be done for His glory and honor. Our whole lives should reflect who Jesus is. We should live for Jesus, period. We might go and do a “Christian deed” as it appears outside, but our motives are completely different. God knows that (Lk 12:2-3). We might do these to impress other people and not really for Him, but He is aware of that (Lk 16:15). In the end, it’s about truly living for His name and not a shadow or imitation of it. We proclaim our faith because we truly do live for Him.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord (Matthew 23:39).
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