Trillanes is At It Again

People who know me are aware that I'm not GMA's (both the president and the network) biggest fan, but pulling off another Oakwood is definitely not the answer to this.

Gift List

Just because I don't want the person who has the (unfortunate) task of getting me a gift for the Singles conference next week during the Excellence Conference a hard time, I'd like to make a few, er, suggestions to help him/her out a bit.:P

• An optical mouse (a blue one, please :P)
• RAM for my computer (I wish!)
• Captivating or Wild at Heart by John and Stasi Eldredge
• Any book of the Time Quartet series by Madeleine L'Engle
• Plato's Symposium (and no, that's not a joke)
• Mere Christianity, The Problem of Pain, or The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis
• Hearts Ablaze by John Bevere
• Any book by Graham Greene
• Music by MxPx and Thousand Foot Krutch

Okay, so maybe these are kinda pricey, so just in case, here's a list of the general stuff that I'd like :P:

• A nice, huge bag
• A good headset for my computer
• Any good book, Christian or secular (if it belongs to the latter category, it would be nice if the genres are either fantasy - such as those written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - or philosophical, particularly existentialism - non-fiction, such as the works written by Emmanuel Levinas, Gabriel Marcel, Jean-Paul Sartre, or Albert Camus - or fiction, such as those written by Milan Kundera)
• Good music (alternative or rock)
• Nothing Sanrio please!

I'll try and add more stuff to the list if I think of anything else.:p

A Stitch in Time Saves Blood (In Theory, At Least)

It's that time of the year again where I get to collect sicknesses from all over the place. I contracted a new allergy (I'm still not sure what it is, but my doctor was positive that it's caused by something I ate), I found out my eyes are now ready for LASIK surgery (which I don't really want to undergo, at least, not right now), and I had another wisdom tooth extracted.

It's in the last one that I want to talk about in this entry, so for those who have weak stomachs and are pretty sensitive about blood, I suggest that you stop reading now.

I've been having a problem with the lower right portion of my jaw this past month. Maybe that's also the reason for my frequent headaches/migraines, I really don't know. Sometimes, when I'd brush my teeth, that part would bleed (and I don't really think I'm heavy-handed when it comes to that). Add that to the fact that that part was really sensitive and tender that I could poke it with a finger and a part of it would wiggle, well... That would explain why I got worried and went to see a dentist about it. It's not that it hurt (well, not that much, anyway), but it was just really annoying.

The thing is, my siblings and I have gone to only two dentists in my lifetime, both of whom know us since we were kids. I don't mean to make them into security blankets or anything (I'm not really scared of dentists), but they're the ones I'm used to. The problem is, they're way over at Pangasinan, and I'm here at Manila. What's a girl with an aching jaw to do? Simple. Look for another dentist near her, so that's what I did.

Immediately after peeking in my mouth, the dentist went something like, "Okay, that tooth has got to come off." I expected that, but I didn't realize that it had to come out right then and there. Well, it didn't, really, because she had to call a dental surgeon to do it. In the meantime, I trooped over to my ENT, who was on a trip at that time but had a substitute, who was the one who said I had a throat allergy.

Anyway, when I got back to the dentist, the surgeon was already there, and without further ado, I plopped down the dental seat and let them at it.

Let me tell you, it's not an experience I want to go through again. Small chunks of my gums were removed, after which the surgeon noticed that it was already infected (you really don't want to know how bad it was) because of the impacted tooth. She got to poking and prodding the tooth, which really didn't want to come out (probably got the streak of stubbornness from its owner). A lot of blood was already coming out, not Kill Bill level, but enough that I got disturbed by it (and I'm not really that scared of blood). To top it off, either the anaesthesia wasn't strong enough, or the surgeon missed a spot, because I actually felt the extraction, and it wasn't nice. The operation wasn't all that long, but it was bad enough, and the wound deep enough that it had to be sewed so as to be able to heal. I really thought it was going to be smooth sailing (I had two of my wisdom teeth extracted at the same time last year, and it was over after around 15 minutes, and it didn't hurt that much after). I was wrong. Not only was it really painful and more bloody than the last time I had extractions, but ice cream even failed to make the day better for me. I really don't understand how one tooth could do much more damage than two teeth, although the dentist said that the lower third molars (har, that sounds so smart) are really harder to pull than the top ones.

Anyway, that's where my story ends. Come this Saturday, I'll be going back to have the stitches removed. I just hope the gum won't bleed crazily again.

I Bleed Blue

With 17 seconds (is that a sign?) remaining in the fourth quarter, Chris Tiu sank a three-pointer that gave the lead (and eventually the win) to Ateneo, 89-87, that was reminiscent of the "Hail Mary" shot made by Gec Chia on Season 65 of the UAAP.

It was such an awesome experience to watch a game live all over again. I can't help but laugh when I remember all the stunts we've pulled because of UAAP, including being hit on the head with green balloons and streamers (and no, that's not a joke), going to the Blue Eagle Gym at 5:00-5:30 a.m. to get tickets (only to see that there are at least 50 people in front of you), attending morning Philosophy classes in the morning instead of the actual class schedule just to watch a game, jumping from GA to Upper B, hanging out at the Moro Lorenzo... Those were good days.

Some staples of the game (especially if it's an Ateneo-La Salle one): suddenly being superstitious when you're not (like believing in lucky shirts, shoes, heck, even food), wearing blue (donning green on an AdMU-DLSU game is a crime - unless you're from Taft), heckling the players, heckling the crowds, heckling the referees (heckling is a must, and the third one being the most crucial - especially if they're making calls that seem to have been pulled from nowhere), sitting/standing as close to the Blue Babble Battalion/Band (the noisier, the better), watching the true-blue alumni giving their absolute all in cheering (and heckling, of course), singing the "Song for Mary" and shouting "Go Ateneo!" as second voice during the chorus...

Man, that rocked. And I want to do it again and again.

Twilight

Note: Sorry, I haven't been posting regularly. I've been doing some stuff, and I haven't really been focusing on my actual, personal blog (don't ask me what I mean by that). I've got a bunch of draft entries on my computer, and I'll try to post them as soon as I edit/finish writing these.

Anyway, I've posted a couple of poems that I've written just to keep in practice (and a product of boredom in a bus on my way home). These are pretty different from what I'm used to making, and it kind of follows "The Red Wheelbarrow" in terms of style (at least, in my head). I don't really know which kind I like best, just that these two aren't the same as the older ones.

---

Twilight
Shadows rise and fall
as the darkness
swallows the light
and makes it its own.
Hope tries
to bring a glimmer
in a blanketed atmosphere
and finds its answer
on the floors of heaven.

Solitude

The wind blows a leaf
astray from its brother
and it floats,
without direction
buffeted by a force
Stronger than its own
and drifts to places unknown.

Portrait of An Apology

Look what I've done
This picture I've painted
It looks like my heart
Or what still remains

Convinced of the weight
Your interpretations
Are not what I see
I wish they could be

- Jars of Clay, Portrait of an Apology

Ever tried to do something that you believed is good, but it ends up exploding in your face? That happened to me quite a number of times. No matter how good my intentions might be, the way I execute it leave a lot to be desired.

Most of the time, I find myself asking where I went wrong. After all, did I not want something good to happen out of it? Why did it fall apart? Other times (most especially the most recent one), I know exactly where I went wrong, and I think this is worse between the two.

I made a mistake very recently. I thought I was doing something good - until now, I know that what I wanted to achieve is really all right, even if it involves a bit of self-sacrifice. A part of me knew that I might just end up hurting someone with what I planned to do, but I guess I ignored that little voice, because I had my eyes focused on my goal. It's a mindset that assassins would be proud of: forgetting one's emotions just to achieve an objective. When I saw how much damage I've caused, though, I was crushed, not just because I was already hurting because of doing something that's against my nature, but because I know I've hurt someone that's really important to me. I know that in the long run, what I'm trying to do is going to be good. It's to fulfill a vow I've made a number of times already. It doesn't lessen the fact that I hurt someone though, and that I'm hurting as well. This will sound melodramatic, but a hundred apologies are not be enough, because it will never erase the pain I've caused. I would probably have the same mindset when I enter this kind of situation again, but I hope and pray that I'll be more sensitive and gentler, instead of acting as though I were flailing or smashing someone with a huge mallet.

May you learn from this lesson, Melanie.

Taylor

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Maybe Charles Darwin Got It Right…

Maybe man did evolve from monkeys.

I can imagine a lot of people raising their eyebrows because of that statement. After all, why would a Christian go and make such a ridiculous charge, even if the Bible explicitly stated that there is absolute truth in the creation story? Before you sharpen your pitchforks and take out your torches, allow me to explain this first, and then you can decide whether I should be burned at the stake or not.

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs defines the levels of “nourishment” (for lack of a better term) that humans need to function well in society. Since it is an ordered structure, there definitely is an arrangement on how this goes. The most civilized of people are rich in all aspects, so much so that they can forego a part of what should be theirs for the sake of others in order to create a functioning society. When you remove all the upper “scales” of the ladder, and all you have left is the one on nourishment (food, shelter, etc.), a person is still able to move about. Take that away, though, and you make him/her hungry and/or needy in the process - s/he will then degenerate to the intellectual level of an animal.

On the other hand, St. Thomas Aquinas also had a ladder in his philosophy, which defines the order of the beings that exist. On the lowest rung are the inanimate objects, like rocks, which can’t really do anything. They’re just there. Second up on his scale are plants. While these are already living, they’re not really mobile in the sense that they can’t walk or run around, but they have the capacity to process food in their systems. Third are the animals (excluding humans). They most definitely exist, they can eat, and they’re very active in their movements. Lastly (since we’re not going to be focusing on transcendence here), we have the humans. What makes us so special that we’re placed on the highest rung? Simple. Because, based on theory, we have intelligence, which the other creatures lack.

Now, let’s put both theories together. Based on St. Thomas Aquinas’ theory, men are the highest of all creations because they can think. However, Maslow kind of provides a condition for that – humans are only the highest if they’re full. If their bellies become empty, then they take a mental step down the jolly stairs of Aquinas because they’ll be “animalistic” in their hunger – at least, until they become fed again, which brings them back into the polite world (whatever that means, anyway). Is that what it’s trying to say? Bringing the theory of evolution into the picture to further complicate things, are we really more alike with the primates that Darwin has repeatedly insisted we originated from? Are we really chimps who are just a little less hairy? Some would probably accuse me of false reasoning, because I’m taking these out of context. I think not, because, bluntly speaking, that is actually how society is functioning these days.

Just look around you. If Maslow were still alive, he’d be delighted at how many samples/specimen he can have for his studies. His theory states, or implies, that society would function well only insofar as the members donate a part of their “needs” so as to make the wheel churn smoothly. He’d have a field day if he’d just see what kind of people we are now: none who are willing to sacrifice even just a smallest bit of “have” for the sake of others. Heck, he can even have the (stereotypical?) government officials as his sample, and he’ll win a Nobel Prize for such an outstanding discovery, because they are the most well-known of the people who’d be willing to sacrifice the sake of the many for the sake of the few (meaning, him/herself, and maybe his/her immediate family – if they’re lucky).

We are such a selfish people. Deny it all you want, but that’s the truth. Dangle a piece of apple in a metropolitan sidewalk, and people would probably rush over to grab it, elbowing those who are in front of them just so they can have a bite. We are so concerned about what’s going to happen to me, myself, and I that we don’t care if we bulldoze over anyone along the way. What’s important is that I have the edge above the competition. My house should look more splendid than my neighbors’. My clothes should have the extra oomph compared to the other girls. If we don’t have these, we resort to backstabbing, talking negatively about that person to others, spreading rumors around about him/her – it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, it’s just great that we’ve vindicated ourselves. Isn’t that a negative trait we Filipinos are infamous for : crab mentality?

Filipinos. I honestly love our country and its people. Really, I do. I’m amazed at our intelligence and our resilience, and how we’ve been blessed with such a beautiful state – but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is the reaction that I’m getting from you. Chances are, you scoff, and it doesn’t matter what race you belong to, and I would understand where that is coming from. After all, the Philippines is looked down really lowly by people, and even more hurtful, her own children. Corruption is prevalent, crime is rampant, and the people we put on pedestals are not those who are doing active work in helping bring about world peace, but the celebrities who’ve endorsed just about anything and everything (from chicken to epoxy, they probably have their faces emblazoned on just about every product known to man). I do understand, but it doesn’t mean that I agree.

I was talking with someone a few days ago, and he said something to the effect that he doesn’t want to be identified with Filipinos. In the Internet forums/games that he frequents, he doesn’t say that he’s one, and if someone asks, he’ll say something else. He hates the government for being so messed up. He hates the Philippine traffic. He hates the media, from the press to the movies to the TV shows. And in case you weren’t able to read between the lines, he’s a Filipino. The sad thing is, a huge portion of our people thinks like that already. They are ashamed to be associated with the country. I remember, whenever a law is passed regarding a specific group of people, a defense that a person can use would either to put himself with his people and say that the law is oppressive to them, or put himself squarely against them, saying that he is in no way like them. Putting it shortly, he’s disassociating himself from the rest, effectively expressing that he’s above them to be put in the same category as they are. Wow. Really nice people, I say. What is maddening and frustrating at the same time is that most people who’ve left the country (probably permanently) or those who are here but insult the Philippines for all they’re worth are actually the ones who can make a change in society, precisely because they have the means to do it (hegemony, in Marxist terms). Yet instead of instigating that change to make at least one condition better, they spread their poison for all their worth into complaining about this or that, cursing on and on about their hang-ups for the rest of the world to hear, etc. Instead of expending their energies into something worthwhile, such as helping those who are needy, they just rant their lungs off. If only they’d stop talking for even just a few hours and help a family who suffered from a bad storm repair their home, then it would make things even just a little bit better. If only they’d stop buying all those designer clothes, fancy gadgets and rubber slippers (worth more than P1,000) just so they’d look cool and trendy, then they could give the money to an NGO (Non-Government Office) so that they could give it to those who are in need, or better yet, they hand it to an impoverished family, the money of which could feed them for a number of days. If they could stop taking a cab or driving their cars and instead walk that short distance, they’d not only get the chance to exercise, but lessen the pollution that’s killing nature.

I honestly wish that the people’s eyes would be opened to this sad reality. While they enjoy their luxuries in life, a family of six is struggling to have something to eat each day. Our beautiful culture is losing its touch on the people because we think that the traditional stuff are “baduy” and “jologs,” and we’d prefer international films and sitcoms, very much. We’d prefer keeping for ourselves the few coins just because… Instead of handing it over to that little beggar boy by your car window who hasn’t had anything to eat since the night before.

I do realize that it’s not the fault of those who were born privileged for having that money. It only becomes a problem when it comes to how they’re going to be using it. Giving occasionally to charity isn’t enough, because a lot of times, they do it not for the sake of giving but for the publicity they’ll be receiving. Remember this: God has said that we are all part of the same body. Like ours, there are specific organs that work with each other not only to ensure that they themselves are working fine, but that everything’s ok, including the other parts. That means that we shouldn’t only ensure that we are fine, but that everyone else is doing alright too. By being alright, it’s not sufficient to say, “They’re alive, aren’t they?” and leave it at that. You’ll have to look after their well-being too. It’s time we realize that everything in our lives are there because we are to act as stewards: to take care of these for the real Owner, who’ll be coming soon. This not only includes money, people in our lives, and whatever possessions, but also anything and everything that surrounds us, including our country. Maybe if everyone cooperated, then that would make enormous positive changes, not only in terms of society, but on the living conditions and health (in all aspects) of people. Maybe then, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs could actually be fulfilled by each person.

And maybe, we become less like the primates of Charles Darwin, always looking for self-gratification and nothing else, and more like the people that God originally intended us to be: like Him (Gen 1:27).

1 Corinthians 12:20 “There are many parts, but one body.”

Down From The Hill

I went to the Ateneo during the weekend to check something out. Even though I was alone there, I had so much fun walking around, taking snapshots of just about anything and everything with my mobile phone (explains the low quality of the pics, but it's fine). Even though some of the photos pixelized, it's still ok. I wasn't there to go and take decent shots, I just did it for the sheer heck of it.:P I would've taken more, except that my phone died on me.@_@ Man, I acted like a tourist in my own school.:P That was really funny.

Another funny thing: I took more "background" shots during the weekend compared to the rest of my years in the Ateneo put together. Guess my priorities then were quite different, since I liked getting people's photos more back then.

Anyway, here are some of the photos. Hope you enjoy these.:P

The Batibot Tree in all its Batibot-y glory

This can be found on the walkway from Gate 2.5 to Faura or CTC/SOM. It always reminds me of the stone altar where Aslan was killed in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, for some reason.@_@

My favorite kind greenery (and I'm using the term loosely) on campus: the fire tree

The creepy statue of Fr. De La Costa, S.J. I love the Jesuits and all (thanks to them, I think like this today), but the statue's still disturbing.:O

Would you believe I fit quite comfortably under that footbridge, with lots of room to spare?:D That's one of my favorite college memories.:D

A Beautiful People

A Beautiful People

One thing that I find really interesting is that almost from the beginning, women are the only ones to whom beauty is attributed. With the exception of Greek mythological personas such as Adonis (who had goddesses actually worshipping the ground he walks on), Narcissus (who fell in love with himself, the jerk), and Cupid (whose enormous white wings seemed to enhance his looks rather than make people think he’s just a mutated chicken), it’s the females who usually have the “beautiful” attached to their names. I’m not saying this to insult mankind (perish the thought) but as a simple fact. Guys do get called a variety of adjectives to describe their attractiveness: handsome, pretty boy, good-looking, attractive piece of flesh, hot (no matter how you spell it), and (here’s the clincher) sexy. Sure. However, if people (and not just half of the population) begin to really think about that, they might just get as frustrated with the situation as me – and not just because men aren’t called beautiful, but on how society perceives what beauty is, in general.

I’m not a hypocrite. Being a regular kind of girl, I do find some men attractive. Hey, a few people have heard me gush about this or that celebrity. The thing is, though, I only appreciate their physical appearance, and nothing more, which is sadly how the world looks upon beauty these days – something’s that’s just skin-deep, as cliché as it may sound. Maybe that’s why men aren’t called beautiful by the masses, because women, perceived (there’s that word again) as the fairer sex, are generally thought to be so. This point-of-view, like so many things in the world right now, are just matters of opinion, that have taken root in the minds of people quite a long time ago already that it has gotten accepted as the truth. Look at it this way, though: humans have also thought that the sun revolves around the earth, but that’s not factual. They’ve assumed that man will never be able to fly, but we have airplanes, hang gliders, helicopters, etc. to disprove that. Just because it’s general belief doesn’t make it true, and the same goes with the perception of beauty.

If beauty isn’t physical attractiveness, then, what is it? Let’s take a look at the most beautiful person who has and ever will live, and who I know personally. And yes, he is a man. He is a person who doesn’t care about what other people might say about him, just so long as he does what he knows is right. You will never hear him bad-mouth anyone just to look cool or to put himself above others. Instead, he will help the people around him (even if they’ve tried to bring him down), because he genuinely wants to see them happy. He is a perfect gentleman who will never lift his hand not only against a female, but to anyone or anything, and especially not in a fit of anger. He is one who will go out of his way to help others, not to get something in return but because it’s something that he genuinely wants to do. He doesn’t pretend to be anyone else but himself. Even if people have hurt him time and time again, he will readily forgive them, and even before they ask for it. As a human being, he has emotions: he gets angry, hurt, frustrated, upset, happy, and all these, but he knows well enough when to act on these and when to pull the reins in.

You want to know who this person is? His name is Jesus. Read through the Gospels, and you’ll know that all of these are true. If you don’t have the time to go through all four books, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, of which I loosely based my descriptions on, and God is love (1 Jn 4:8). This is what true beauty is: love. Yes, it does sound cheesy and would sound right at home tucked within the packaging of a Hallmark card, but this is the truth. What can be more beautiful than this, which is so pure and amazing and true? It’s not a matter of the amount or brand of make-up or clothes that you wear that makes you truly attractive. It’s not based on gender or skin color or riches. It’s the soul of the person that matters, because this is what is capable of loving, and is what belongs to God. Men and women can be beautiful in Him.

Do you want to be truly attractive? My beauty tip: follow God. You only have to look at the faces of the believers to know that this is the truth: there’s an inner glow in every Christian that will never be matched by any cosmetic in the world, and the best thing about it is that it’s free, and you can get it anytime and every time you need it.

A Beautiful People

We are a beautiful people,

A people of the one true King

We are a beautiful people,

Caught in arms of grace and love

We are a beautiful people,

And faith is our aesthetics

We are a beautiful people,

Cloaked by righteousness that isn’t ours

We are a beautiful people,

Our faces shine because of inner peace

We are a beautiful people,

With smiles brought by joy

We are a beautiful people,

Our hands covered not with rings but with gentleness

We are a beautiful people,

We are beautiful.

*Note: The grammar (like this entry’s title) has been deliberately written like that, and is not a result of an oversight.

Got a C for My Country!

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out atLakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.


Guess I need to know more about the Philippines.:P Check out my completely blank slate of Mindanao.:D I've never been there, but I certainly would love to. In God's time.:P

In Love With Malone

Do you love him too?:D Obviously, the little guy in those pics is Malone, a Retriever/Malamute crossbreed puppy. Isn't he perfectly adorable? He's not mine, but I would absolutely adore having him.:D He looks like such a sweet one too, with his puppy dog eyes and slightly sad look. I saw him on Daily Puppy and I couldn't help but feature him on my blog. We have a lot of dogs and other pets at home already, but I would love to have him.:) There's just something about Malone that makes me melt.:) I'm such a sucker for dogs.

Check out his page here. To see more adorable puppies and doggies, check out the link of the Daily Puppy above. If you're more of a cat person, you can check out the Daily Kitten to see feline cuteness.:D Enjoy!

How About That?

Apparently, I am in the right field of concentration.:D

A cool thing about this quiz is that it actually rated my favorite fields correctly, with the exception of history and philosophy (I would probably have wanted these a bit higher, but that's just me nitpicking). The funny thing is, I got relatively high results in all categories, which just means one thing: I'm a nerd.:D

You scored as English/Journalism/Comm, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, Literature, or Writing. It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. English/Journalism/Comm 88% Psychology/Sociology 81% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 81% Religion/Theology 75% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 75% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 75% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 75% Education/Counseling 69% HR/BusinessManagement 69% Visual&PerformingArts 63% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 63% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 44% Physics/Engineering/Computer 44% Mathematics/Statistics 31% WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

My Chipmunk Voice!

I probably will regret this in the near-future, but this is just so funny not to share.



We did this VO for a video.:D My officemate played around with my voice, and this is the result. I'm hoping he was just kidding when he said he's going to use it as a ringtone. I have no intention of being the latest hit ringtone sensation in the country. I'd really rather not be associated with the "Hello, Garci" line, no matter how obscure the connection.:P

Slow Dance

I read Marley’s blog a few days ago, and I felt that I should reply to what she said. I might not be able to answer there, and the sheer lack of a Multiply account makes me oblige to share my thoughts on my account.:P Plus, this would reinforce my past post about not letting go of my blog – not just yet anyway.

I guess after the discussion our Singles group held last Friday, all of us have been thinking about the question of purity and GB (God’s Best), even if it’s in different levels. I’d like to share my thoughts here about it, although I’m not sure if what I’m going to be saying in my blog is more or less than what I’ve mentioned that night. In all honesty, I can’t really remember all I’ve said last night (I believe that it was really the Spirit’s leading that gave me those words).

A brief background on the term “GB”: this is something my friends and I’ve picked up in college, and also what we believe in with our hearts (quite literally, but pardon the pun). In general, GB is God’s perfect plan for you. It’s really what the Lord has in store for you if you choose to follow what He wants for you, and please focus your attention on the latter part of the sentence. He can only give you the chance to have the best that life can offer IF you choose to follow Him with everything that you are. It’s not because He is powerless or stingy with His blessings, it’s just that, how can He work in your life if you continue to push Him away and don’t allow Him in? However, if we choose to subject and surrender everything to Him, that’s when He’ll be more than delighted to lead us where He wants us to be, and that’s the very best of what we can have. This includes our careers, families, friends, etc. More often than not however (and more importantly to some people), the term “GB” is translated as that person that God wants to bless us with, to possibly spend our lives with together with him/her. There are other terms to call it: soul mate, one true love, whatever. It’s really a romantic notion, but I think that each one of us nurses in our hearts that desire to find and keep that special someone.

For me, I believe in waiting. Maybe right now, God has already brought my GB in my life. I can’t say for sure, but I believe in trusting Him about this, that in His perfect time, He will reveal that someone. It’s quite funny, because a lot of people think that “waiting on the Lord” is really lame because it seems like those who’ve made that commitment are scared of having to work it out by themselves. I’d like to disagree with that, because trusting in God, especially where this is concerned, is really a courageous act, because we go against our instincts. We don’t jump on what our emotions (and hormones) are telling us, but instead attentively listen to what the Lord has to say. If we’re going ahead of ourselves or, quite simply, completely wrong about what we think we’re sure of, He’ll rein us in and say, “Slow down! You’re going too fast!” Honestly, it’s really quite easy to act on our nature and say, “Hey, this is where I want to be, and no one can stop me.” Waiting is a totally different experience, and it teaches us a lot of patience and maturity among other things, not the least of which is love.

Yes, love. I can hear the collective gasps of people. “Oh my gosh! She’s mentioned that four letter word! As if what she’s saying isn’t mushy enough!” Har har. The world’s corrupted love so much that people just don’t understand what it means anymore. It becomes locked inside this little bright red box that opens once a year on February 14, and it brings along with it sappy music, lovesick people, and barfing sounds from people who would probably rather eat dirt than to admit that they’re affected by all the sentimental jazz. What is love, though? One thing that learned in a classroom in college which is actually applicable in life is that love extends from more a feeling to a choice. I hear (or read) kids as young as eight years old say that they’re in love because whenever they see this person, their hearts beat faster, they become all giggly and giddy, and they feel as if all the butterflies from the park have suddenly teleported into their stomachs. Older people might say because they feel electrified when that person touches them. Still others say they know they’re in love because if their “significant other” leaves them, they will not know what to do with their lives. This is the perception of the world now. This is what love has gone down to, because people forgot who was raised up as an act of love. Jesus was literally lifted up when He was crucified, and His passion is the greatest love story that will ever come into existence. People say that that title belongs to Romeo and Juliet, but that’s fiction. Jesus’ love is truth, the biggest and barest truth that we can ever be faced with. What else can you call it, that someone could have given His life so completely and unashamedly for people who’ve constantly spurned Him? It’s not idiocy, because He knew full well what He was doing. It was and is the purest form of love that anyone could ever hope for, and no one can even begin to compare to that (so don’t be deceived if someone says that his love for you is so great that he’s willing to get the moon and the stars for you).

How does this translate to our human form of love? As His love for us is pure, so should our love be pure among each other, and most especially to that special person in our lives. I really and praise God for all the things He’s been teaching me now. I’ve come to realize that the more I feel the need to be with someone, the more I should lift it up to Him. It’s not because it’s a feel-good thing I’m doing for myself, that I’m being all sacrificial and noble and all that, but it’s because it’s something that I know He wants to take a part of in my life, as with all the other things I’m involved with. I won’t kid with you, it’s hard. I’m not emotionless. I do get hurt, impatient, and angry, and that’s why I have to bring it before Him all the more. If I acted upon it, what would happen? Not only am I getting out of God’s perfect will, I’m also setting up that other person to potentially fall? If you truly cared about someone, would you want them to fall into sin just because of you? No, right? Definitely not. We would want what is God’s best for them too, right? We want them to be at the center of God’s love and plan too, and doing all we can to attract them will definitely not help them in the least. Even if it might seem like the right thing, and maybe you are thinking the right way when you believe that that is the person that God would want you to spend your entire life with, but even if you got that right, if you went ahead of God’s timing, then it would still be wrong. The Lord might have been planning to work on the both of you, making you better, more mature people before He brings you together, but because you jumped ahead of time, your immature relationship might end in a break-up, even when you could’ve ended up together.

What can we do to keep us from going ahead of God’s plan. We pray that He guards our hearts. Emotions aren’t bad. These come from God and nothing evil or cruel can ever come from Him. However, if this is the only thing we will rely on, then we’re setting ourselves up for heartbreak. Emotions are temporal and can change with our moods. Would we really want to bank our hearts, a huge part of ourselves on to, metaphorically speaking, a wobbly cart that might topple at the slightest things? No. Instead, we place it on to something that’s permanent, a strong foundation that will not collapse no matter what happens. We lift it up to Him. Asking God to guard our hearts is different from asking Him to take away our emotions. It’s not so much “Lord, make me stop feeling,” but more of a “God, I know my heart is fragile and vulnerable. I want it to be kept pure and whole, and that’s why I ask you to protect it.” He will not keep us from feeling, because it’s something very human and also a blessing from Him. What He will do is to keep us from unnecessary hurts, by sheltering us from people and situations that can be painful for us. This doesn’t mean that after we ask the Lord to guard our hearts, we can go out and flirt with those from the opposite gender. Not only are we defeating the purpose of our prayer, but also we’re leaving ourselves open to attacks from the enemy, and he won’t be so merciful with our hearts. We also have to do our part in guarding it, and that means protecting ourselves from situations where we might end up falling. It’s hard, I know, but after all the waiting, the pain, and all that, it’s really going to be worth it in the end. I mean, it’s God’s perfect will for the both of you. Where can you go wrong?

So how long does the Lord want you to wait? I honestly don’t know the answer to that, but I’mquite confident in saying that when that time comes, He will give you a clear “Go” signal to go on with it. I know that with me, God still has a lot to work on. I’m not perfect, and I will never be as long as I am in this world. I know there are so many things in me that have to be removed, purified, trimmed, pruned, what have you. I still have a lot to learn. I mean, come on, I can’t even be described as domesticated as of yet. At the same time, however, I continue to hope and pray for that time to come. I know that if it’s God’s will for me to get married, He would bring that person in my life in that way when the right time comes. Even now, He might even also be teaching that person to be the best man that he could be. I know that he is not perfect (only God is), but I also know that he’s going to be the best for me. (Of course, there’s always a possibility that the Lord would want me to live a life of single blessedness. Sounds surprising, but who knows what God’s plans are? His ways are not ours.) Whatever happens, it’s going to be according to His will, and it’s going to be pure and beautiful because it’s something that He’s constantly telling me to lift up to Him, and that He is the very center of this.

In closing, I’d like to leave you this poem I’ve written, my (very short) translation of the book Song of Songs. The title of this entry and the poem are similar because the image popped in my head earlier. In terms of our “love lives,” if we lift it up to Him, it becomes like a slow dance with Him and him (or her). It’s magical, it’s beautiful, and it’s going to be worth every minute of it. Hope you like it.:) God bless y’all.


Slow Dance

We go out into the night
Holding hands with arms stretched towards each other
Reveling in the pureness and beauty of it all

You take me in your arms
Hold me close to your heart and
Making me feel safe and secure in your embrace

We hold on to each other
And off we go
Swirling and twirling and turning around and around

We need no music to be played
Because we create our own
Melding together, our hearts create the beat

We fill the room with laughter
For no one else can make us feel such sheer joy and
Defining the very pinnacle of our existence

I look in your eyes
And I see there the promise of the beauty, the wonder, the perfection of
Living a new life with the old completely erased

I see in them your love
That knows no bounds, and I am left
Wondering why it’s me that you’ve chosen, with all my brokenness

You continue to hold me
And a gentle look, a touch, a smile is all I will be
Needing to be assured that your heart is given to me as I’ve given you mine

And we continue to dance.

Long Time, No Post

Hey everyone (at least, for those who read my blog. I still have no idea who a lot of you are - if you're still around). I just want to apologize for the long period of my silence. I'm not going to abandon this; on the contrary, I'm trying to figure out a way to modify it to make it a bit better-looking (learning HTML and all that makes me a bit more courageous in tinkering with this). Right now, I changed the template I'm using (as you might have noticed). The only downside to my modification is that everything I've included on my blog in the past have disappeared, including my links, so I'll have to build all that again. However, I'm hoping that this is just going to be temporary, as I'm planning a completely different look (not just a face lift, but an entire body overhaul) for this, so I do hope you stay tuned for that.:)

Anyway, just to give a very short explanation why I haven't been posting, it's because I've been maintaining 20+ other blogs for work. I'd really rather not dwell on this (not unless I want a million fangirls spamming or screaming), but let's just say it's part of my job. When all that is over, I might migrate a select few (and when I say few, I mean few) of my entries from some of these "work blogs," but we'll see. No guarantees yet, just depends on how I feel by then.:P

Thanks all, and God bless.:)

Rebels With A Cause

Holy. Faith. Religion. Worship. Praise. God. Jesus.

These are some of the words that are very controversial at any period of time. Mention any of these in public and you’ll most probably get any of these two reactions: either a long, awkward silence follows your proclamation (which will probably make you almost wish you hadn’t said anything at all) or it will cause a very loaded debate that will probably make at least one person in the crowd fuming or touchy by the end of it.

What is it about these words that make these so highly charged? A huge chunk of the answer, I think, lies in the third word: religion.

A huge problem with religion is that it has a lot of negative connotations attached to it. “Sorry, I’m not a very religious person. I hardly attend church.” “See her? She’s religious. She prays the rosary twice a day.” “My friend’s so religious that he attends Bible study every week.” Do you see where this is going? The thing with religion is, it has become institutionalized. You become religious if you did this or that thing, or if you attend this or that gathering. Religion has turned into a bunch of rules that must be followed in order to fit into the stereotype.

I’ll be honest: I dislike using “religion,” myself, and precisely for what I’ve mentioned above. Maybe it’s the Marxist in me speaking, but whatever the case, I don’t really like using the word. For people who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior, I would call them “spiritual” or “godly,” but not “religious.” Because of all the connotations attached to it, the word is stripped of the call God has for us, and that is to have a loving relationship with Him.

I’d like to pause right now to apologize in advance to the people whose toes I’d be stepping on in just a short while. I won’t be saying sorry for my words, otherwise I would not have uploaded this in my blog, but I would on the pain I’d be causing your feet. I’m not saying this on anyone’s behalf. This comes from me, and if you happen to disagree with me, then do tell me your points – politely, of course. However, right now, I am standing up for what I think is right.

The thing with institutionalized religion is that we end up focusing on these rules than on Him. We follow these to a T that we end up acting exactly like the Pharisees and Saducees of Jesus’ time (at this point, I would like to apologize to the Jews, whether or not they are reading this. I am not anti-Semitic, but I would just like to use these historical events as examples). They became obsessed with the rules that they disregarded that a lame person could walk again, and instead focused on breaking the rule on no work during the Sabbath (Lk 14). They were so intent on saying “I’ll pray for you, brother” that they ended up not helping that person when he was cold, hungry, or thirsty. They became so focused on the positions they had by virtue of the rules that they didn’t mind whether the people around them were in sore need of their help (Mt 23).

This is one of the reasons why Jesus came down from the heavens. Through Him, we no longer are under the law, but covered by His grace. There was nothing wrong in the law per se, it’s just that the people became so concentrated on that that they forgot that the reason these were there were for them to worship God. Instead, these rules in a way became their God, because they spent more time dwelling on that instead of seeking to glorify and obey Him. When Jesus came, He gave only two commandments to be followed: to love Him with all our souls, minds, hearts, and strengths, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mk 12:30-31).

Simply put (though not as simply obeyed), he orders us to love. As dc Talk has said in their song, “Love is a verb.” We do not choose who we love, but we should do it to everyone unconditionally, no matter how harshly we have been treated. At the same time, even if rules are there to guide us, these shouldn’t restrict us from loving people His way. Jesus Himself sat with the prostitutes, tax collectors, and other sinners. What right do we have to look down on people who just happened to have different beliefs than us?

Aha, religion rears its head again. That’s another bone people have against it: the fact that most religions have these standards that aren’t really loving, to put it mildly. I know some who’ve gradually stopped going to church because, being homosexuals or having committed sins that are quite huge (at least, according to human standards), they believe that they will be ostracized, and the sad truth is that that’s a probable thing to happen. Because someone fell, or even just for who s/he is, s/he will be treated as an outcast, and of the church no less. Maybe the staring down isn’t sanctioned by the church heads, but because it’s what the congregation does, the people’s actions would reflect negatively. Again, Jesus sat and ate with the sinners. As He said, He came not for those who are well, but those who are sick (Mt 9:12). Knowing that the other has fallen, shouldn’t we try and help them up on their way, instead of dragging them down and stomping all over them? When you get down to it, we are all sinners (Rm 3:23) under God’s grace (Eph 2:8-9), and really, we have no right to be high-handed over people. Let the one who has committed no sin throw the first stone (Jn 8:7).

Maybe some have left our organization and joined another church. Does that give us the right to treat the other person as if s/he never existed? No. That’s not what Jesus would do. If we did that, then we’d be putting rules over humans, and that’s not really Christian, is it? Even if that person had said stuff about our group that aren’t really complimentary, we shouldn’t retaliate. We’ll not only sin, but we’ll not witness for the Lord. It’s His name that’s on the line when we get down to it, not ours. Our place on earth is not to judge, but to win souls.

Another sad case would be the war between churches. Instead of boosting each other up, helping one another in their strengths and weaknesses, they end up pointing at the sins or mistakes of the other organizations. That’s not how things should be. Together, we are the church of Christ, a community of His believers. Again, all of us have sinned, so we shouldn’t point out others’ mistakes since we ourselves are stained with sin (Mt 7:1-5). Instead, let’s help each other out walk in faith.

What am I saying then? Destroy the church and just allow people to individually worship God? No! The authority given to these elders are from God, and as He said, we should respect God-given authority. I think it was Tim LaHaye who said that Christians should also serve as witnesses to others under certain secular authority, such as the government. However, when it reaches the point that it becomes ungodly because people are set aside in favor of sticking to the rules like glue, then that’s where we should take steps. Change the system. Destroy it, if need be. Never let anything be given prime importance over God. A question to ask ourselves would be: am I following this because it’s for the Lord, or because I have to? It’s so easy to follow rules because, well, it’s easy. Period. Especially if other people are doing it. Yet are we doing these because we’ll remain in our nice, safe, comfortable little worlds, or because we know that it’s right? Sometimes, we’re so scared to break the rules even if we don’t agree to these because of the possible consequences we’d have to suffer. Jesus, said, however, that the Christian life isn’t easy. Isn’t believing in Him already an act of rebellion against the world? Why not stretch this “rebellion” and really follow what He wants us to do? Let’s get out of our comfort zones in the truest sense. We might find ourselves persecuted, and by our own friends and family, no less, but He did warn us of that beforehand. It’s not that He wants strife to happen, because He doesn’t. In truth, He is saddened whenever this happens, but He doesn’t force people to change their minds, they do it on their own. He just calls them, and it’s up to these individuals whether they want to answer or not. Maybe He’ll ask us to give up things that we’re not ready and/or willing to surrender. Maybe His will for us is harder than we expected. Maybe He wants us to get out of our cozy homes and live life the way the greater number of people do: in poverty, hunger, and pain in every degree possible. I don’t know. Yet If we’re going to be radical, let’s go all out. Don’t say you follow God and then find yourself trapped by a bunch of rules that aren’t really glorifying Him. Break these if need be, because these could be made by humans only, and not according to His purpose. Don’t, however, do it just because you feel like it. Jesus Himself went out of the box in His actions, but He didn’t break the rule to the point of going up to Caesar and saying, “Hey, I’m the King. That’s my throne you’re sitting on, so get out of there and let me rule!” He didn’t. Yet at the same time, He healed during the Sabbath, He overturned vendors’ stalls by the Temple, and He preached God’s Word without studying it as a profession like the other rabbis.

What I’m trying to say is, stop obeying human standards and start listening to what the Lord wants for you. Who knows? Maybe He’s calling for you to help bring the change and for you stand up for Him even more than you did before.

A Very Memorable Birthday

This year’s birthday has got to be one of, if not the most memorable one I’ve had my entire life.
It’s not because it’s my twentieth, although that’s really a huge number in my opinion. After all, this officially ends my teenage years, but that’s not really why this one is very different from the others.

It’s not because this is the first birthday I had that I spent working. The past ones, I was in school or I was too young to remember anything. I ended up feeding cake and ice cream to my officemates, which gave almost all of us a really huge sugar rush. We giggled our way to following our HK bosses’ orders, which was actually quite effective. That would have made it really memorable, except that there was something else that happened that made this pale in comparison.

Quite simply, I received a gift… from the enemy. Now, a lot of people would think that that’s a good thing, because this would mean that bridges can be crossed. Some would even think that I’m so lucky that my foe was the one who made the attempt to close the gap between us. And, in all honesty, I do like receiving presents now and then. However, all these are not the case right now, because this enemy is the one who we’re supposed to declare spiritual warfare with. This is the one who’s caused us to fall time and again, and is always attempting to tear us away from our loving God. Y’all know who that is. What did he give me, you ask? From Wednesday onwards, I couldn’t eat normally, because I’d end up throwing up whatever stuff I ate. To prevent this from happening, I only had a few bites to eat per meal, which isn’t really satisfying to say the least. One of the saddest things during that experience was during my birthday dinner in a restaurant of a distant relative. Everyone was having quite a good time because the food was really, really good. I loved the taste of what I ordered (beef with mushroom sauce), but I had a major problem: I couldn’t eat it. The same with the dessert, which is actually my favorite part of every meal. Imagine incredibly yummy food in your face and you can’t eat it. It’s sheer torture. Go ahead and blame me for being a bit hedonistic, but really, is there anyone who can say s/he wants to eat horrible-tasting food? Of course not! By the end of the evening, a lot of people have noticed just how pale I was turning (I was valiantly trying hard not to puke because I was seated at the far end of the table, and I couldn’t get out without having to pass the others) and my lack of appetite (which is a very rare occasion), and they began voicing their concern. Problems like appendicitis and dengue fever cropped up, which didn’t really console me, but at least made me finally decide to go to the doctor the following day (I wasn’t able to go the past days because our bosses from HK were in the country). My mom actually wanted for us to go directly to the ER after the dinner, but I was against it. I didn’t want to have my birthday finale end up in the hospital.

The following day saw me confined to the hospital. There wasn’t any definite finding as of yet, but appendicitis is a prime suspect, which I’m paranoid about. I didn’t really enjoy the thought of having myself opened up for the world to see. I want my insides kept inside, thank you very much. Praise God it’s not that, after the initial tests were done, but on what my actual problem is, nothing’s really definite yet.

Today at noon, I’ve finally been released. This is after four lab tests, four huge dextrose packs, a number of med injections to my tubings (that made me feel like a plumber, for some reason), three doughnuts, several packs of juice, and two runs of Cheetah Girls. During that time, I’ve been starved (their term was “fasting,” but I beg to differ), prodded, and mistaken for a pregnant woman (I really need to lose weight, if that’s the case). I’m typing right now with my left hand swollen and the path of one of the veins quite obvious because it’s really red. I don’t know if that’s the result of my body gobbling up four large packs of glucose through IV, or if I have a weird allergic reaction to the medicine that they injected through the line.
The findings? An intestinal bacterial infection and a normal process that men would probably pale if they find out (women would probably be sympathetic, but they’d be thankful that they’re not one of the fortunate few who have to go through that). My tummy’s still feeling really weird. It’s not that it really hurts, it’s just that there’s this sort of pain in that general area that I can’t pinpoint which part exactly hurts. Hopefully, the medicine would take effect soon and rid me of this sensation, which is really not welcome. Still, all’s well that ends well. I take comfort in the fact that I didn’t need to be turned into dinuguan by the doctors.

Happy birthday, Lani.

Birthday Wishlist

Since I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get any of these, I'll be posting my ultimate birthday wishlist here.:P This will most probably be incomplete, so I'll be editing this from time to time.:p This is also definitely not in order, but only according to which one pops in my mind first.

1. A complete set of the Xiaolin Showdown Dragons, along with the actual dragon (Dojo please, not Chucky Choo)
2. A plushy of at least one, but if possible, the Xiaolin Showdown characters
3. A good copy of all the episodes of Xiaolin Showdown (yes, I am a fanatic of the show :p)
4. A comic book collection of the story between Rogue and Gambit
5. (Most definitely a wish) Marvel turns Gambit back to the good side, and he and Rogue finally end up together. Pleeeaaase!
6. A complete collection of music from Relient K, Audio Adrenaline, Thousand Foot Krutch, dc Talk, and Jars of Clay
7. A complete set of Madeleine L'Engle's books
8. Good books. These include those coming from the Christian, philosophy, and fantasy genres.
9. Money for shopping. Haha!
10. Madeleine L'Engle's books
11. Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
12. A Heart Ablaze by John Bevere (I'm not really sure if this is the book title OR author, but it's something like this. Someone's told me it's a very good read, but I can't find a copy yet.)




However, since I most probably can't have any of these, I'll just settle for prayers.:) I ask most especially that you pray for direction in my life, that I be true to the Lord my whole life.

Thanks, and God bless y'all.

A Craving for Chicken Inasal

Yaaay! I’ve finally satisfied my craving for chicken inasal (which had been going on from December) last Saturday. What’s more, God taught me some new things on that food trip.

After running a couple of errands, I went to the mall relatively near our house to get my Laking National card, which I had renewed a month ago. I haven’t had lunch yet, and I was debating with myself whether or not I should eat there or wait until I get home. I weighed my options: for Letter A, I would have an instant fix to my grumbling problem, but I’d end up spending, which is a bit of a turn-off considering I’m near broke. For Letter B, I wouldn’t be spending at all (except for the fare for my commute back), a yaaay factor. However, a mental image of a juicy chicken meal popped in my mind, and I decided to satisfy my long-overdue craving (even before Christmas, if you can believe it) for the Bacolod specialty (fortunately, I didn’t have to travel to that place to have that). I went to the restaurant and took a seat (not literally, of course). After giving my order, I took out my book (Tim LaHaye’s Finding the Will of God in a Crazy, Mixed-up World) and began reading it. Pretty soon, my food came and lo and behold! It wasn’t what I ordered! Praise God I didn’t blow up about it, and that He gave me good humor that day. Anyway, as I was waiting, I continued reading. Presently, my food arrived (the correct one this time), with the waiter apologizing for the mix-up. After assuring him that it’s alright, I dug into my food, pausing from time to time to continue reading my book. A few bites later, the waiter came back, and this time, it wasn’t to apologize again. It turns out that he’s also Christian, and that he was blessed to find another believer. He recommended some good books he’s read at first, and then he told me a bit of his story: he used to be a youth leader in their church, a drummer in their music ministry, and also served as one of the counselors to the kids there. However, he said that he backslid, and he stopped serving a prime position in their church. Praise God that he’s back on track now, although he hasn’t been able to regularly attend their meetings because he’s now working.

Now, people could say that it’s a huge coincidence to meet someone of the same faith as I do. I believe though, that there is no such thing as “coincidence” and that it was the Lord’s will for the two of us to meet at that day and at that time. There I was reading my book on how to make sense of my life, and then came this guy who, while not answering that question in my mind, assures me of just why I chose to walk in faith. After I ate there, I felt such peace that did not come from what I ate physically, but what He nourished me with. The waiter (I’m not trying to be demeaning by continually calling him that, it’s just that I wasn’t able to catch his name) himself said that God led me there specifically to eat, and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know where the craving for chicken inasal came from, and why it came on December, but I do know one thing: He brought me there in that restaurant at three o’clock Saturday for a reason. I could’ve satisfied that craving earlier, but for some unknown reason, I didn’t (imagine a month-long craving!).

One of the things I’ve learned from him in those few minutes he came up to chat was something he was taught in one of their seminars. They were taught what “Christian” should mean for us: CHRIST, I Am Nothing. That’s true: we are nothing without Christ. The only way we could be something is if we are in Him. Another thing I’ve learned from Him, implicitly, is that He’s in control. Imagine this guy who was at the top of the food chain (figuratively speaking), but he falls. Yet he stands up again, and even without the previous standing he enjoyed, he is still at peace and filled with joy for the Lord. He also continues to feel the burden of other people who chose to follow the world and not Jesus. He’s also thankful for the job that God gave him, even if he already has, or is studying for a degree (I’m not clear on which one). For someone who’s trying to find meaning and direction in her life, that really shook me, because the Lord brought me to meet someone who is also clueless on what the Lord has in store for him, yet continues to believe in Him wholeheartedly that He’s got a perfect plan for him. I know that too, yet my heart can’t seem to catch up to that knowledge yet, because I still feel anxiety because the Lord hasn’t shown me as of yet what He’s calling me to do. I got convicted because of him, yet at the same time, the encounter brought me peace. As he said, the Lord had a plan why He made me eat there. I know that for my part, He taught me a lot of things. Hopefully, I also helped the waiter out in his faith walk by witnessing to him. Whichever case, it’s really just great how God works, to bring about a craving into something that’s for His glory.

The encounter also made me reflect how my relationship with God is these days. Whenever I need Him, I’d go and ask Him a question and then cut a Bible expecting an answer. Sometimes, I would receive one immediately, but sometimes, none of the verses on that spread strike me, so I continue cutting my Bible until I come upon one that seems to answer the question in my head, and then I’d be satisfied. In a way, that’s also like a craving: you’d get an itty-bitty piece of something that you feel you want to have. Once you get that taste, you’ll already be satisfied. However, maybe cravings aren’t really what we should have for His Word. Maybe we’re supposed to have a deep hunger for Him and His Word that will never quench. Cravings can be satisfied, but hopefully our hunger for the Lord would not be so paltry as to easily disappear once we get a taste of it. Rather, may the Word we receive from Him draw us into reading and accepting more and more, so that we would be filled with Him and not seek other things to fulfill this emptiness within us.

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether we eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God

Lk 12:29 Don't keep worrying about having something to eat or drink. Only people who don't know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father knows what you need. But put God's work first, and these things will be yours as well.

And Then Came The Bride

The much-anticipated wedding (at least, in our families) finally happened last Friday, January 5, 2006.The ceremony was held at Santuario de San Jose in Greenhills, and the reception at one of the ballrooms in Edsa Shangri-la Hotel. We really won’t be able to say that everything went without a hitch (pardon the pun), because that’s really not what happened. Ask my sister, and she’ll probably tell you that everything that could go wrong went wrong in her wedding, even before the actual ceremony took place. Not only did the gowns come out not as planned (we had mutated obis in place of the real mccoy, my gown became magenta, for crying out loud!), most of these were also delayed in making. The band that was scheduled to perform almost broke up prior to the wedding, ultimately having one of the singers leave the group, threatening their date with us. The bridal car that was supposed to bring my sister and my parents disappeared off into some other dimension, making their arrival in the church late by almost an hour (at least I could say it was truly my sister’s wedding: it was late). The hotel rooms’ reservation also got somehow screwed up. Of course, I won’t forget my personal disaster – Lani the Klutz strikes again, tripping at the side of the hotel on my way from an errand. I’ve still got huge wounds on my left foot and my right knee as souvenirs). Everything was just really messed up, but it all turned out well in the end (at least, I think so. My sister’s mom-in-law, wedding planner, hotel coordinator, etc. would beg to differ). We got to see our cousins, uncles, aunts, and other relatives after quite some time, since a lot of them live outside the country. I also loved the sermon given during Mass. It goes something like, make sure your wedding day will be the happiest day in your significant other’s life. After that, however, you must ensure that the following days will be happier than the last. He (I’d really rather not name names) also said that your spouse will be the Cross that you will be carrying for the rest of your lives, and it got me thinking: Jesus bore His Cross as an act of love, and that is how married people should treat their union as. It should be seen not so much as a burden but as an act of love that you will renew, refill, refresh each day. Another thing would be that there is no other person who would be right for you than the one that the Lord gave to you, and that person is a testament of His love for you. He reiterated “right,” in that that person is really your GB (in not so many words), but s/he is not perfect. I guess that struck me also, because we’re always looking for the perfect person that we could be with (no matter what kind of relationship), and we end up forgetting that there is only one perfect being in the universe, and He is God.

It was sad that our other sister wasn’t able to attend (she’s had a few days’ break after she graduated from boot camp, but not enough so that she could fly here for the wedding). All of us pretty much missed her, especially since she’s the most psycho one among us all.:p A comedic thing that happened to me during the wedding was that during the single ladies’ game during the reception, I ended up literally running for the door when they were looking for participants. I told my sister beforehand that I didn’t want to join the game, but who can tell with a bunch of lunatic cousins present?

All in all, the wedding was great fun. I wasn’t able to take pictures because I got separated from P (my camera) for a, huge part of the evening (sniff, sniff). I’ll be able to upload more once my sister gives me a copy of the pics from the photographer. We’ve got some looney shots there.:p

Oh yeah, sorry for the rambling flow of this entry. I didn’t really have an organized mind right now.:p

My parting shots: The wedding ended, and let the marriage begin. May the Lord bless the couple’s union.

Also for the singles out there waiting for their GBs (God’s Bests): As what was said in the sermon, there is that person that the Lord has planned for each of us meant to live that kind of life, and that s/he would be a testament of His love for us. Let His glory be done in this part of our lives, as well as the others.

Click here for pictures. I'll be adding more as soon as I get the others.