God's Best

[This is the first of two entries I have posted regarding this entry. This one is the one written recently, while the other, which follows right after this, was made a little less than a year ago. I haven’t read the one I wrote earlier again, so if you notice some differences between the two entries, feel free to point these out.]

Since 2/3 of the S.S. has decided to write about God’s Best in one way or the other, I feel this compulsion to write one of my own.:p Heehee! Just kidding, sorta.

Anyway, Marley was right when she said that this is one of the topics we love talking about. After all, almost every female (or even male) would eventually want to have a family of her (or his) own, and to care and be taken care of. Of course, we also talked about wanting to choose the right guy from the first; the first man we would have a relationship with will hopefully be the one we would also eventually marry.

I’ve always said that apart from God, I don’t want to base my happiness on another person, because that would be just, well, sad. Yet I won’t deny that I still want what I mentioned above. I would be lying if I said that I’m not looking forward to having a family of my own. Just how much exactly I give focus on that drove home when I realized that out of all the Christian books that I own, a huge chunk of it has been devoted to having relationships – Godly ones, certainly, but still on relationships. I have those written by Joshua Harris, Eric and Leslie Ludy, even Dr. Ron Raunikar. I don’t have anything against them, certainly. If I did, I would not have purchased (much less read) these in the first place. Yet I realize that by reading these, it allows me too much to daydream and focus on my ideal home: a wonderful husband, three kids (two guys and one girl, the latter being the youngest), and pets, especially dogs (See, I told you I’ve thought about it too often!) Reading these is not bad; in fact, it’s actually good, as it prepares a person for that certain time in life where God might call him/her to marriage. What isn’t really good is the aftermath of it. Some friends have commented more than once that the problem with us girls is that we are way too emotional, and I have to agree that it’s true at times. We want to find security and belongingness, and the problem enters when we want to have it now, and hopefully in the arms of a guy. I’m not generalizing that this applies to all girls, but this is applicable to a huge chunk of the female population. A part of the blame lies in the world and what it teaches – that a person cannot be complete without a “significant other.” You’re a complete loser if you haven’t found someone yet by the time you’re twelve years old. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but then again, maybe not.

Focusing way too much on this dims why it is called G.B. in the first place. It becomes Lani’s Best and not God’s Best, that is, it becomes too much centered on what I, we, want and not what His Will for us is. It’s like that bumper sticker I see from time to time that goes something like, “Lord, grant me patience right now.” We pray for our God’s Best without realizing that it becomes what we think is best and not what He wants for us. For that matter, how can we say that our G.B. has to be a person to begin with? It could be in the form of ministry, family, or friends, but not in terms of that so-called “significant other.” It’s G.B. because it’s God’s Best – His perfect plan for us. How can we challenge something so incredible? How can we say that what we want is better, when we can have what is the best? Besides, it’s a two-way thing if a person is meant to have a G.B.: it means that s/he is also the other’s G.B., or, as the people from the Bible study that I go to say, you have to be G.B. material yourself. This means developing on your character, and not just allowing yourself to be just the way you are. And yes, I know we can be stubborn and say, “Why do I have to change? He has to accept me just the way I am.” Borrowing from one of my history teachers in college: “That’s baloney.” If you will be just the way you are forever, you’d still be in the cradle sucking on your pacifier. We have a high expectation of who we want our G.B. to be, and we have to have it clear on the outset that chances are, the other person also expects a lot. As Christians, it’s a definite that we choose someone who’s also a follower of our Lord. How can we hope for someone like that when we don’t develop our relationship with Him? This does not mean that we only work on ourselves just so we can get something back. First of all, do we just continue to know more about Him just so we can get a “significant other”? Who are we fooling but ourselves? It’s an insult to God if we do that: to pretend to be in Christ when all we’re striving for is something extremely worldly. Besides, when we come to know Him and be serious in our faith, we can’t help but be changed by Him. It’s about following Him because we love Him, and not because we want to please someone else. If we do find someone, all well and good; if not, we have an Eternal Bridegroom waiting for us in Heaven.

I will probably never forget what Fr. Meehan said to us in our Th 151 class. He said that God loves us all universally, and at the same time, He loves each one of us personally, and one way of letting this love known to us is by being blessed with a spouse – the reason why marriage is given such importance in Church. A friend also once told me that being committed to someone entails maturity and stability in a person’s life. That’s one of the reasons that I now have when I renewed my commitment to Him. If it’s His will for me to have someone, then Thank You, Lord. I’m willing to wait 5, 10, how many years, knowing that it’s definitely God’s Best. Besides, I don’t want to bank on it that much now, because I know it’s not right for me yet. I’m still a student, for crying out loud! I still want that first guy to be the only one for me, God willing. If it’s not His will for me to be with someone, still, Thank You, Lord. That would be my G.B., and I know that He has a different plan for me, and not one involving matrimony. Besides, above it all, I know that no one else can complete me other than Him. I know, because He has always given me that security.

So now, two words will sum up what I will do: active waiting. For what, only He knows. For sure, I trust Him.


Song of Songs 3:5 “I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and hinds of the field, do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time.”