From inq.net: Conrado De Quiros' Article

Found this article really amusing and refreshingly honest. Kudos to Conrado De Quiros for a great article.

For those who want to read it themselves, just check out this link.
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There's The Rub : Authentic fakes
By Conrado de Quiros
Inquirer News
ONE. The joke is attributed to the Moro, though these days his Christian counterpart more easily fits the bill. The Moro trader is selling gold earrings, but one of his customers decides to test the authenticity of the product. He soaks the earrings in vinegar and, alas, the gold turns to dross. Unfazed, the trader exclaims, "Ah, clearly your vinegar is fake!"
Two. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP, the central bank) has just apologized to Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for issuing a P100-bill that misspells her name. Instead of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, what appears on it is Gloria Macapagal-Arrovo. The BSP hastened to assure the public the bill is not fake, it is valid legal tender. In fact, the BSP urged the public to rush to get it-as a bill that makes that mistake is a first in this country. It should be a collector's item, the BSP proposed.
The apology is misdirected. The BSP shouldn't be apologizing to Arroyo, it should be apologizing to the public. The glaring
mistake in that bill is not "Arrovo," it is "President." The "Arrovo" is real (notably given that "robo" is the Spanish word for robbery), the "President" is fake. It is a first in this country, someone who did not win the elections, having money made in her name. The bill is truly a collector's item in the same way that the Ferdinand Marcos bust in Agoo town is a real treasure, a monument to folly and a reminder of the depths to which this country can sink. A country that likes to tolerate authentic fakes.
Well, one thing in Arroyo's P100-bill is real enough. Its value has gotten smaller and smaller.
Three. Juan Ponce Enrile's logging company, San Jose Timber Corp., has a license to log but not to operate as a corporation. The Securities and Exchange Commission revoked SJTC's certificate of registration a couple of years ago for failure to comply with requirements. It has not lifted its revocation. Quite apart from that, Samareños, who fear the areas in their island that Enrile is determined to despoil may become other Ormocs and Infantas, say there's a current log ban covering the entire Samar Island.
Not so, say Enrile and Mike Defensor. Defensor, who issued an order in August allowing Enrile to break a 16-year-old logging ban in Samar, says it is perfectly legal.
Well, Enrile and Defensor have something in common. Enrile is the guy who faked an assassination attempt on himself to justify martial law and who made the term "dagdag-bawas" [vote-padding and vote-shaving] a household word. Defensor is the guy who abducted Panfilo Lacson's witness against Pidal and called it a rescue and who cited an American expert to prove the "Hello Garci" tape was doctored only to be refuted by the expert himself. They're both authentic fakes.
Four. What do Virgilio Garcillano and Elvis have in common? They have both been the subject of "sightings."
Some say they've seen the former election commissioner in Vietnam, others say they've spotted him in other parts of Southeast Asia. The region does not require a visa from nationals of Asean countries, thus allowing fugitives to sneak in without leaving a mark in Immigration. Still others say he's been sighted in Lanao and other parts of Muslim Mindanao, visiting relatives and other strangers. The last prompted Lacson to propose a way for Filipinos to become instant millionaires: Arrest Garci and turn him over to Congress. There's a standing P1-million reward for him.
I myself do not know how Congress settled on the bounty of P1 million. P1 for every vote of the one million votes Arroyo won over Fernando Poe Jr.?
Aquilino Pimentel though has another theory. The only place where Garcillano can be sighted now, he says, is either heaven or hell, though the second is more likely than the first. He personally does not think Garcillano is a current resident of earth. "Someone who holds that kind of information cannot be allowed to live," he says.
Of course, someone who can fake election returns can always fake his return from life, or death. A real fake can always fake or realize a fake reality. But his real absence is the best commentary on the fake presence of the current occupant of Malacañang. Elvis sang "Don't Be Cruel," Garcillano sang "Pipilitin ko po Ma'am." Elvis was called The King, Garcillano is (was?) just called names.
Five. During the recent Apec, Arroyo decried the conditions in Burma and vowed she would help bring democracy to that country. What are the signs of the lack of democracy in Burma and the robustness of it in the Philippines?
One, Burma has no elections; the Philippines has fake elections. Two, Burma is ruled by a vicious junta without the consent of the governed; the Philippines is ruled by a ruthless cabal without the consent of the governed. Three, Burma will not allow people like Aung San Suu Kyi to say what they have to say about the junta; the Philippines does not allow people, like Francisco Gudani and Alexander Balutan, to say what they have to say about the cabal. Burma gags its journalists; the Philippines kills its journalists. Burma has remained one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world; the Philippines has become one of the most backward and impoverished countries in the world.
Those who can't do, teach.
Six. The First Couple say they went to Disneyland in Hong Kong for their "apo" [grandchildren]. Look at the picture of them that appeared in the Inquirer and see if that's so. They looked absolutely thrilled. The apo were probably bored.
They said they were also there to scout for investment opportunities. Well, they might not have found an opportunity for their country to get rich, but they might have done so for themselves. Disney would pay them a fortune just to not look like Goofy and Minnie Mouse.
Seven. In this country, when gold turns to dross at the touch of vinegar, the vinegar must be fake.