“It is good to wait patiently for the Lord to save us. When we are young, it is good to struggle hard and to sit silently alone, if this is what the Lord intends. Being rubbed in the dirt can teach us a lesson, we can learn from insults and hard knocks.”
- Lamentations 3:28a-30, Youth Bible (Contemporary English Version)
- Lamentations 3:28a-30, Youth Bible (Contemporary English Version)
Right now, I am undergoing the biggest persecution that I have ever experienced in my entire life. It’s not like Stephen’s experience of being stoned to death, nor is it like China’s Brother Yun who seems to go out of prison only to be captured once again for evangelizing. It’s nothing like that. What I am going through right now is really way too close for comfort, because my burden is in my Jerusalem (for those who don’t seem to understand this, I urge you to read and reflect on Acts 1:8).
In truth, this struggle isn’t something new, but something that I have been going through almost since I was born. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than what it already was – not so much about me just accepting it as it is, but something I’ve already accepted, and continuously have been praying for. I didn’t know and expect that this would be where the persecution would be coming from.
I have made a really major decision in one aspect of my life – something that is potentially life-changing, no matter which way you look at it. It wasn’t the easiest choice that I have made. Heck, it took me several months to decide whether or not to go through with it, and the Lord has been consistent in telling me to do it. It was His will for me to be where I am right now, and the call was so strong that I was really ready to go – never mind if I was alone. I simply didn’t care, as long as it’s because it’s what He wants me to do, never mind if I might be supremely uncomfortable where He placed me; that’s where He led me, and that’s where I’m going. Thank God that He made it so that I wouldn’t be alone to go through it. What I didn’t count on was the reaction I’d be getting from my Jerusalem.
I’ve heard a lot of bad stuff said to me or to someone else in my lifetime, but what came out during that talk has got to be some of the most horrible things ever directed to me. Suffice to say that if my blood pressure were taken right after it, my systole would have been way over my diastole. I thought I was already used to that, but it turns out I wasn’t, and those things just cut to me. Not only were the stuff thrown insulting and unfair, but it was a truly perverted mind that could have turned and twisted something inherently good and made it appear so corrupt. That was the biggest persecution I have ever received. Neither my Judea nor Samaria have given me that brutal an attack. I would think that my Jerusalem would have provided my haven, but I was so wrong. The fact that it is my Jerusalem just makes it seem a thousand times worse than if it were Judea or Samaria, because that, I was able to take. This recent attack, however, just drove straight home, that I would have crumbled if not for Him. I know that He brought me here, and I know He has a purpose for this. At times, I have been extremely bullheaded about it, but I know and believe that it’s His Will for me to be here. I am secure in His Word. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will not do what is contrary to that.
The offense was really obviously coming from the enemy. I’ve said in my past entry that we are soldiers in a war. This means that the enemy has ammo of his own, and he will certainly make his attacks extremely painful, and he doesn’t feel constrained to break whatever rules we might think are applicable too. Ephesians 2:2 (and this is from the same version quoted above, as are the rest of the verses to be cited here, unless mentioned otherwise) says, “You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn’t obey God.” We shouldn’t underestimate him, because he is the ruler of the world, and he will use every means he can use to make us turn away from the Lord. When we think we are safe, that’s when we are in most danger of being attacked, because we get so complacent and filled with foolish pride that we are virtually very fertile ground for him to lay the seeds of corruption. It’s a very scary thought.
Yet the Lord did not leave us to be completely defenseless. We only have to read about the lives of these Biblical heroes to know that He provides for our battles. The Book of Psalms is filled with thanksgiving for the Lord has granted victory. The most powerful imagery that I have read about would be in the last chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, entitled “The Fight Against Evil.” It goes, “Let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself from the devil’s tricks. We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself… Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. Your desire to tell the good news about peace shall be like shoes on your feet. Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit” (v. 10-17). Don’t be misled by what the enemy is saying, because our God has defeated already. His Blood covered us, and nothing will ever take that, unless we allow ourselves to be deceived and be victims of our circumstance – exactly where the devil wants us to be. God gave us His great promise that He will save us, and that has indeed come to fruition with Jesus Christ and by His Cross.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t affected by what happened, because I was, big time. It hurt a lot. But to allow my thoughts to dwell on it would give the enemy have a grasp on me and start weaving his half-truths and full lies in my head, and that’s not something that I want. I’m praying to God to help me, and I know He will. Trials are in our lives like stones that we never notice until it is too late. Sooner or later, we will trip. If we just sit there mourning about that sin, we allow it to grow into proportion, because continually thinking about it will corrupt us. That is the truth. He will try to convince us that we will never have a chance again, that we’re completely useless, that we’re the biggest losers that the world could have come up with. That is not the truth. That is why we always should be steadfast in our faith and vigilant in our walk, to prepare us in our battles. That is why we should always read His Word, because the Bible is a major way for us to know what His commands are. If we trip, we should get up and continue the fight. We are soldiers, and God is our general. Are we going to be casualties of the war? Not better, if not worse: are we going to be deserters or turncoats of it?
In truth, this struggle isn’t something new, but something that I have been going through almost since I was born. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than what it already was – not so much about me just accepting it as it is, but something I’ve already accepted, and continuously have been praying for. I didn’t know and expect that this would be where the persecution would be coming from.
I have made a really major decision in one aspect of my life – something that is potentially life-changing, no matter which way you look at it. It wasn’t the easiest choice that I have made. Heck, it took me several months to decide whether or not to go through with it, and the Lord has been consistent in telling me to do it. It was His will for me to be where I am right now, and the call was so strong that I was really ready to go – never mind if I was alone. I simply didn’t care, as long as it’s because it’s what He wants me to do, never mind if I might be supremely uncomfortable where He placed me; that’s where He led me, and that’s where I’m going. Thank God that He made it so that I wouldn’t be alone to go through it. What I didn’t count on was the reaction I’d be getting from my Jerusalem.
I’ve heard a lot of bad stuff said to me or to someone else in my lifetime, but what came out during that talk has got to be some of the most horrible things ever directed to me. Suffice to say that if my blood pressure were taken right after it, my systole would have been way over my diastole. I thought I was already used to that, but it turns out I wasn’t, and those things just cut to me. Not only were the stuff thrown insulting and unfair, but it was a truly perverted mind that could have turned and twisted something inherently good and made it appear so corrupt. That was the biggest persecution I have ever received. Neither my Judea nor Samaria have given me that brutal an attack. I would think that my Jerusalem would have provided my haven, but I was so wrong. The fact that it is my Jerusalem just makes it seem a thousand times worse than if it were Judea or Samaria, because that, I was able to take. This recent attack, however, just drove straight home, that I would have crumbled if not for Him. I know that He brought me here, and I know He has a purpose for this. At times, I have been extremely bullheaded about it, but I know and believe that it’s His Will for me to be here. I am secure in His Word. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will not do what is contrary to that.
The offense was really obviously coming from the enemy. I’ve said in my past entry that we are soldiers in a war. This means that the enemy has ammo of his own, and he will certainly make his attacks extremely painful, and he doesn’t feel constrained to break whatever rules we might think are applicable too. Ephesians 2:2 (and this is from the same version quoted above, as are the rest of the verses to be cited here, unless mentioned otherwise) says, “You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn’t obey God.” We shouldn’t underestimate him, because he is the ruler of the world, and he will use every means he can use to make us turn away from the Lord. When we think we are safe, that’s when we are in most danger of being attacked, because we get so complacent and filled with foolish pride that we are virtually very fertile ground for him to lay the seeds of corruption. It’s a very scary thought.
Yet the Lord did not leave us to be completely defenseless. We only have to read about the lives of these Biblical heroes to know that He provides for our battles. The Book of Psalms is filled with thanksgiving for the Lord has granted victory. The most powerful imagery that I have read about would be in the last chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, entitled “The Fight Against Evil.” It goes, “Let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself from the devil’s tricks. We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself… Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. Your desire to tell the good news about peace shall be like shoes on your feet. Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit” (v. 10-17). Don’t be misled by what the enemy is saying, because our God has defeated already. His Blood covered us, and nothing will ever take that, unless we allow ourselves to be deceived and be victims of our circumstance – exactly where the devil wants us to be. God gave us His great promise that He will save us, and that has indeed come to fruition with Jesus Christ and by His Cross.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t affected by what happened, because I was, big time. It hurt a lot. But to allow my thoughts to dwell on it would give the enemy have a grasp on me and start weaving his half-truths and full lies in my head, and that’s not something that I want. I’m praying to God to help me, and I know He will. Trials are in our lives like stones that we never notice until it is too late. Sooner or later, we will trip. If we just sit there mourning about that sin, we allow it to grow into proportion, because continually thinking about it will corrupt us. That is the truth. He will try to convince us that we will never have a chance again, that we’re completely useless, that we’re the biggest losers that the world could have come up with. That is not the truth. That is why we always should be steadfast in our faith and vigilant in our walk, to prepare us in our battles. That is why we should always read His Word, because the Bible is a major way for us to know what His commands are. If we trip, we should get up and continue the fight. We are soldiers, and God is our general. Are we going to be casualties of the war? Not better, if not worse: are we going to be deserters or turncoats of it?
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