Horrors of Law School

By next week, I have been a law school student for a month. How time flies, especially if one is doing so many things. I know law school is tough, but I really didn't expect it to be THAT tough. Honestly. First week in, I almost immediately became sick. Not just common-cold sick, tonsilitis-with-a-39-degree-fever-coupled-with-an-asthma attack sick. Yep. That was the first week. As time went by, my health became a bit better, but I can't say the same thing about my studies. For example, next Monday, I have more than a ream thick of readings, and it's for only one subject, and for only one day. How fun. I wanted to quit so badly my first day in, because of the ton of stuff we have to read, understand, explain, comprehend, regurgitate, what have you.
Anyhow, there was this one night when I was feeling completely sorry for myself because I made the sado-masochistic decision of entering law school. I was praying, asking God whether I really was following His Will when I pushed through with my plans. After all, these were my plans since I was small(er). Maybe I just went with my own thing and just assumed that God wanted me there when in fact, it was only me, and that's the reason why I'm floundering so badly now. Then I realized that I wouldn't have been there if I hadn't prayed for it, and that God has a reason for bringing me there. I might go and doubt just about anything, but the one thing that I can be sure of is that He has a purpose for everything. We might not be able to explain it, we might not be able to see it, but we should always know it. Right now, I might feel like I'm not going anywhere save for the path of burnout, but that's not really true. There's a purpose for this, there's a reason why I'm here in law school. The reason why I'm starting to lose hope is because I've been trusting my own strength again, like what I've done countless times in the past. God is good, and He has kept on reminding me that I don't have to stand alone. Philippians 4:13 says, "I have faith in Christ who strengthens me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 goes, "My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." God promises in Matthew 11:28-30 (which eventually was turned into a song), "Come to me all who labor and are burdened , and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you... and you will find rest for yourselves, for My yoke is easy and My burden light." Countless other verses go and proclaim that same thing: that His Grace and strength is sufficient for us, and that we don't have to fight alone, because we're with Him. I became really convicted with that, because the past weeks, I've been trying to do everything alone, and I realize that I can't. Turning to Him will change all that. Even with such a heavy load, I still consider myself really blessed this semester. He has given me a very good schedule so that I can attend meetings that bring me closer to Him. In connection to that, there are just so many doors opening right now, leading me to Christian organizations. My apologies to the UP people, but before, I really thought that I won't be able to go and be closer to God in that school, and I have to rely solely on a youth group that I joi, which is outside of the university. God's good. Not only is there a Christian organization in the law school, He also made a way for me to meet up with my old discipler, and He's also given me opportunities to continue to have fellowship with most of the people in our D group. I met up with my discipler this afternoon, and she said something that really affected me. The answer to my question about why I go through all of these (and this is also for other people) can be found in Colossians 3:23-24, "Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others, knowing that you will receive from the Lord the due payment of the inheritance; be slaves for the Lord always." That's an amazing thought that we should always have. When we do things, we shouldn't think about performing it for ourselves or for other people, but instead for Him. As He has blessed us, even to the point of giving His only Son out of His love for us, so should we also bless Him, by doing everything for His greater Glory.
Thank You Lord, for everything. May Your Will be done.