Ode to Depression

Ashes fall from the sky
Seeming gray snowflakes drifting in the wind
Darkness covers the world
A veritable shadowy blanket providing no comfort
None at all
Coldness seeps through thin rags
A sheer travesty of clothes
Tremors run up and down the spine
Once ramrod-stuff now bent by weariness
A young body, an ancient soul
Not knowing who or what or why
Security not a guarantee for today
What more come tomorrow?

Askance

Why do you always protect me?
Why are you looking after me?
What have I done to deserve You?
Your gift is something I embrace
Treasure beyond value
Why did You choose and call me?
My unworthiness compared to Your glory
I scarce can understand why You would offer
everything you have for me
You risk all You are
Reputation, dignity, Your whole life put on the line
Am I worth it?
Am I worth all Your sacrifice?
You are on my heart's pedestal
I look upon You on high
You reached down and brought me home
Your scars a mute testimony of Your love
Beyond comprehension is Your trust in me
Above all reason is Your devotion
Gratitude suffuses my being, love fills my soul
May I be in Your presence forever

Faith's Paradox

You
You have stolen my heart
And I have no intention of taking it back
Possess all my heart as You take all of me

You
You you have broken my world
And I don't want to go back to what it was
Breathe on me and let me soar higher than what it offers

You
You let me go through fire
And my life is on flame, burning for sweet release
Refine me and remove all my impurities

You
You made me be hated
And I would trade all of the world's concern
Tear me from my reality and bring me to the truth

You
You stripped me bare
And I would offer everything I take pride in
Bind me to You for all eternity

You
You allowed me to be scourged
And I am clothed by Your blood
Mark me as Yours

Repentance

Promises have been broken
Oaths I swore upon my own flesh
Your heart I have broken again
How long will I continue doing this?

My heart bleeds
My soul cries out
The stench of my deeds emanate everywhere
The vileness choking the life out of me

All pride is stripped away
All of me bared
There is nothing left unseen
All nooks and crannies of my being exposed

Apologies are not enough
For forgiveness has already come
A change of heart is what is needed
To bring me back to You

How do I change something so callused?
How do I bring back something that is lost?
Where am I to find redemption
When I threw You love out the door?

Nothing I can offer will be of worth
Indeed, there is nothing I possess
All I have is my soul
Broken, battered, smashed into a million pieces

Every wrong thing I do
Brings the lamb back to the slaughter
Many times have I pierced Your side
But You refuse to abandon me

I fall upon a puddle of tears
Yet even as I shed water, You have offered blood
I cry out for all the wretchedness in my life
Yet Your own life was given for me

When will I get rid of my selfishness
To realize that it never has been about me
But all for You who washed me clean
Love was executed for freedom

Your blood sealed me whole
As firmly as the nails bound me to You
You have taken me back as many times as I have fallen
A Father taking His prodigal child back in His arms


No words can say how much I need You
Nothing can express how much I love You
I am nothing without You
Take me back into Your arms

Everytime I turn to You
You wash my slate clean with Your blood
Wiping it with Your own flesh
And I fall down on my knees again

Things To Be Thankful For This Week

1. For my upcoming birthday (Thank You for 19 years!)
2. For the Manny Pacquiao victory (I hate boxing, but it's a Philippine victory)
3. For the upcoming Singles event
4. For those who will be able to attend that Singles event (let Your will be done!)
4. For not having our Crim Law class on Saturday, so I won't be worrying about it Friday night
5. For the take-home exam for Crim, and the one-week period to work on it
6. For the advance warnings You give me on days I get called for recitation (haha! this one's very true!)
7. For letting me still have my moments where I can enjoy nature
8. For the lovely people in my life who makes it less dreary, especially those who are continually bringing me close to You whether they know it or not
9. For the peace that You gave me that no turmoil can overcome
10. For Your great love, devotion, and faithfulness. Words can't express just how much I love You and how much I am thankful that You brought me to You

Thank You, Lord, for everything. I love You so much.